Julia Sugarbaker - Ahead of her time...

[cookie2]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 11:36am

I found this quote from Designing Women, and keeping in mind that this quote is probably (unsure of the air date) 15-20 years old thought it was pretty interesting to see. Oh, how I miss the angry tirades of one Miss Julia Sugarbaker...

**********

Julia is in a televised debate with Commissioner Bricket, and already getting impatient.
CALLER: .........and I just don't think I could vote for someone like Mrs. Sugarbaker who is so obviously against school prayer.
JULIA: Let me say once again, that I am not against prayer.
BRICKETT: These people are never against prayer, per say. They're what I call 14% Christian. They go to church one day and week and spend the next six trying to keep morals and decent values out of our schools and government ---- the very two institutions who should be instilling these things into our young people to begin with. Well, I say there's a reason we call it "One nation under God, indivisible" ...........maybe Mrs. Sugarbaker has just forgotten what that phrase was all about.
JULIA: (irritated) No, Mr. Brickett. I have not forgotten. I was just thinking that you seem to have forgotten the phrase "Separation of church and state", but the one thing I did forget was just how divisive, dishonest, and distasteful someone like you can be. I've sat here today and listened to you pander to these people, but you don't actually care about them, or you wouldn't be sitting here reinforcing their ignorance and prejudices.
BRICKETT: You heard that, Caller. She just called you ignorant and prejudice!
JULIA: (angrily) I do not think everyone in America is ignorant! Far from it!! But we are today, probably, the most uneducated, under read, and illiterate nation in the western hemisphere. Which makes it all the more puzzling to me why the biggest question on your small mind is whether or not little Johnny is gonna recite the Pledge of Allegiance every morning! I'll tell you something else, Mr. Brickett. I have had it up to here with you and your phony issues and your Yanky Doodle yakking! If you like reciting the Pledge of Allegiance everyday then I think you should do it! In the car! In the shower! Wherever the mood strikes you! But don't try to tell me when or where I have to say or do or salute anything, because I am an American too, and that is what being an American is all about! And another thing.........I am sick and tired of being made to feel that if I am not a member of a little family with 2.4 children who goes just to Jerry Fallwell's church and puts their hands over their hearts every morning that I am unreligious, unpatriotic, and un-American!! Because I've got news for you, Mr. Brickett...........all liberals are not kooks, anymore than all conservatives are fascists!! and the last time I checked, God was neither a Democratic nor a Republican! And just for your information, yes I am a liberal, but I am also a Christian. And I get down on my knees and pray everyday ---- on my own turf --- on my own time. One of the things that I pray for, Mr. Brickett, is that people with power will get good sense, and that people with good sense will get power.........and that the rest of us will be blessed with the patience and the strength to survive the people like you in the meantime!!

[lildogs]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 11:52am

And that, just so you know and someday your children will know, is the night the lights went out in Georgia!

[lildogs]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 11:52am

Double Dog Post
Updated On: 12/30/05 at 11:52 AM

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 11:59am

lmao at "double dog post"

Julia is a saint. She reminds me of Brian McLaren.

[cookie2]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:03pm

Just for you, lildogs....

"Yes, and I gather from your comments there are a couple of other things you don't know, Marjorie. For example, you probably didn't know that Suzanne was the only contestant in Georgia pageant history to sweep every category except congeniality, and that is not something the women in my family aspire to anyway. Or that when she walked down the runway in her swimsuit, five contestants quit on the spot. Or that when she emerged from the isolation booth to answer the question, "What would you do to prevent war?" she spoke so eloquently of patriotism, battlefields and diamond tiaras, grown men wept. And you probably didn't know, Marjorie, that Suzanne was not just any Miss Georgia, she was the Miss Georgia. She didn't twirl just a baton, that baton was on fire. And when she threw that baton into the air, it flew higher, further, faster than any baton has ever flown before, hitting a transformer and showering the darkened arena with sparks! And when it finally did come down, Marjorie, my sister caught that baton, and 12,000 people jumped to their feet for sixteen and one-half minutes of uninterrupted thunderous ovation, as flames illuminated her tear-stained face! And that, Marjorie - just so you will know - and your children will someday know - is the night the lights went out in Georgia!

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:05pm

next to clair from the cosby show's feminist rants, the rants on this show are unmatched. i love it!

[lildogs]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:06pm

Well, I was close--do you know that one about Julia and the construction workers? Charlene made her repeat what the guys had said to her...

[cookie2]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:07pm

CHARLENE: Julia, what did he say to you?
JULIA: Charlene, why do you always want to know these things?
CHARLENE: Oh I'm just curious. Come on, we all told.
JULIA: All right Charlene, if you must know he said, "Mmm-mmm. Lookin' good. I want it. I need it. Got to-got to-have it-now."

[lildogs]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:11pm

Or...

Julia: Excuse me, there's no smoking in here.
Man: I didn't see a sign.
Julia: Well then, just look at my face.

That was the Southern parade of Homes episode with the lovely Mary Ann Mobley, crooked topknot and all.

[Calvin]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:12pm

This one was always my favorite:

Alright!! That's it. This is not a whore house, this is my house. And I've had all I'm gonna take of you. You don't care about history, you just want to sell it. You don't even sell it honestly. You just want to sell the myth.........the myth of the Old South. You all know that myth, don't ya? Happy darkies singing in the field while Miss Scarlet primps around throwing hissy fits. Well that's an insult. It isn't the South. It's an insult to all the people who lived and died here not so very long ago. We Southerners have had to endure many things. But one thing we Southerners don't have to endure is a bunch of bored housewives turning historical homes into theme parks, not to mention ill-mannered tourists with their Big Gulps, Mysties, Slurpees, and Frosties, their dirty feet overflowing rubber thongs, and babies who sneeze fudgecicle juice! Out!! Out of my house!! As God is my witness..........I will burn it down myself before I let you in again!!

Followed closely by her "Do you know where your baby is" threat to Charlene when she ratted on her for jury duty.

[cookie2]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:16pm

goodness, I can't stop!

After Charlene turns juror Julia in for hearing about her case outside of court.
JULIA: (on phone) Hello, Charlene. I just wanted to thank you again for turning me into the judge. Now, the whole jury is sequestered till Lord only knows when, and I am here in Motel Hell, sharing a room with a women with no lips.
CHARLENE: Julia, I had to do it. We violated that law. By the way, I don't think your supposed to be making telephone calls. I'd hate to have to report this, too.
JULIA: If you are so all fire, heaped up about turning people in, I believe you'll find some overdue library books in my upstairs den. Why don't you just report that too, and maybe you'll get your merit badge, you big 'ole donkey girl scout!
CHARLENE: Now, Julia, you sound overwrought.
JULIA: Yeah, well, you're gonna think overwrought. If I miss my dinner with Jimmy and Rosalind Carter because of this, you're going to pay and pay big. I'm going to find you and hunt you down like a dog! I'm talking about you running through the woods in the snow with blood hounds ripping your clothes off! And remember, Charlene, I have your address. You'd be wise to ask yourself "Do I know where my baby is?"!
CHARLENE: Julia? Julia!? (hangs up) Oh my gosh, she threatened Olivia.
MARY JO: What'd she say?
CHARLENE: She said she was going to hunt me down like a dog and hire blood hounds to rip my clothes off! Now, I thought the judge was just going to give her a warning. I didn't know she was going to be shut up in a motel room. Now, Suzanne, you know Julia. I mean, when this is all over she'll realize I had to do it and forgive me, don't you think?
SUZANNE: I think you and your baby should get some black wigs on and get the hell out of town.
MARY JO: Maybe Bill can put in for a transfer. I here there's a big base up in Greenland. On second thought, Julia'd probably just strap some snow shoes to her pumps and track you down like caribou.
CHARLENE: I didn't know Julia had this in her.
MARY JO: Well, we all have things about ourselves that even we don't know.

[Calvin]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:18pm

Love it! She has another good rant later on in the jury room with the mime. That's one of my all-time favorite episodes.

[lildogs]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:19pm

You got the one Julia gives to that jury, with something about staying in the motel, which isn't the nicest place she's been in a while?

[cookie2]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:20pm

ok, twist my arm...

Julia is trying to push the votes through.
JULIA: Alright, that's 7 to 4; who didn't vote? (woman raises hand) Well, Janice, what is the problem? Did you intend to mime your vote?
JANICE: I'm just not comfortable making a decision yet.
JULIA: I see. And yet you are perfectly comfortable smearing your face with white grease paint and annoying pedestrians all over Atlanta. Interesting. No really, Janice, I think it's time you came to a decision. As a matter of fact, I think it's time you all came to a decision. We've been here almost three days, and apparently you people have nothing better to do then to sit around here hogging up the tax payers' money, eating baskets of friend cheese, and staying at the Fair Price Motel. Which, I understand some of you think is the nicest place you've stayed in a while. (the "no-lip woman" fumes) Well, let me tell you something, it is not the nicest place I've been in a while. And for your further information, I'm having dinner with a former president and first lady of the United States tonight, because we are all going to be out of here. And the reason we're all going to be out of here, is that this case is very simple. Did any of you listen to the judge's instructions? He practically told us to acquit. The case is frivolous! The defendant was not negligent. Case closed! Q.E.D.! Over and out! Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more! Go up to the table and mark your ballets, and if you don't mark them right, I'm going rip that fire extinguisher off the wall and blow your over-fed, under-read, simple- minded butts out onto the Fair Price Motel parking lot!
NO-LIP WOMAN: I don't think jury members are supposed to threaten each other. I don't appreciate that.
JULIA: Oh, really? Well, I don't appreciate you leaving you big 'ole box of June Allison bladder pads on my night stand for all the maids and bellboys to see! Of course, you don't care if you never get out of here; you don't even have to get up to go to the bathroom! Now, I am passing these slips for the final ballet, and I want to tell you right now, read my lips: Mark your slip wrong, and I will wrap it around a fried cheese ball and shove it down your throat!

[lildogs]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:26pm

Thanks for the yucks Cal and cookie!

[cookie2]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:30pm

anytime...this thread went in a fun, lighthearted direction, and that makes me happy on a Friday afternoon stuck at work. It very easily could've turned into a political type rant thread based on my first post. I was up for it either way, but i'm glad we had this instead!!!!

[Calvin]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:32pm

Agreed! I wish Lifetime didn't move the reruns to such an awful time. I almost never see it anymore.

[lildogs]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:34pm

I agree and what's with Will and Grace cutting into my GG time? I can see W&G on any channel--GG is only on one!

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:37pm

This has to be my favorite thread currently running...

[cookie2]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:39pm

ok, not to bring down the lightness of this thread...but I just had to add one more quote to show how brilliantly written and ahead of it's time DW was...

Mary Jo is forced to defend condoms for teenager at a PTA meeting shortly after discovering a friend is dying of AIDS.
CAROLYN: Let's quit kidding around, shall we? What you're actually saying, Mrs. Shively, is that if your 15-year-old daughter is determined to have sex, that you won't mind her going to a school dance with a boy who has a condom in his wallet paid for by your tax dollars. Isn't that right?
MARY JO: What I am saying is I have a dear, sweet, funny friend -- 24 years old, not very much older than the kids we're talking about here -- and he came to me this week and asked me to help plan his funeral because he's dying.....from AIDS -- something that he got before he even knew what it was or how to prevent it. I've been thinking about his mother this week, and what she might give for the opportunity that I have tonight -- that we all still have here tonight -- because now we know how to prevent AIDS. And I think it really shouldn't matter what your personal views are on birth control, because we're not just talking about preventing births anymore. We're talking about preventing deaths. Twenty-five thousand Americans have died, and we're still debating. Well, for me, the debate is over. More important than what any civic leaders, PTA, or Board of Education thinks about teenagers having sex, or any immoral act that my daughter or your son might engage in..... the bottom line is I don't think they should have to die for it. Thank you

[lildogs]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:42pm

With the lovely Tony Goldwyn as the young man in question.

Got any Bernice Clifton for me?

[cookie2]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:50pm

if you can wait till i get back from lunch, sugar I will try and dig up some classic Berneice and maybe a little Anthony Bouvier...

[Calvin]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:03pm

Julia also had a good line in the AIDS episode to her client who said that gay people were getting what they deserved. Something like:

"Let's get serious. I know you, and if God were handing out sexually transmitted diseases as punishment for sinning, you'd be down at the free clinic all the time."

[lildogs]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:56pm

Well? We're waiting....

[CJR]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 2:24pm

I <3 Julia Sugarbaker......

When I saw this thread title, the first one that came to mind was the abotu Suzeanne and the baton... but it was posted already.

Is Designing Women on DVD and I missed this? Just curious since I dont have cable anymore and Lifetime isnt very consistent with airing the episodes.