Let's construct our own Thatcher hagiography- Page 2

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 1:51pm

Pish. We all know that Oprah rules the world.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 1:58pm

Margaret Thactcher could burp, fart and queef God Save the Queen in three point harmony.

[suestorm]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 2:03pm

Stay classy SNAFU!

Updated On: 4/8/13 at 02:03 PM

[tazber]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 2:11pm

Even in death Ms. Thatcher continued her assault on homosexuals
Massive panic barely averted

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 2:23pm

^^ The word "hilarious" gets tossed around a lot these days...

[Roscoe]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 2:28pm

Margaret Thatcher, the only woman ever to win 11 consecutive Nobel Peace Prizes, was also an accomplished novelist (5 Man Booker Prizes) and surgeon, selflessly pioneering in the fields of organ transplants and infant heart surgery.

Shortly before her own passing, Mother Teresa noted that "(Thatcher's) example is a shining beacon of self-sacrifice and humility and devotion to alleviating suffering that makes my entire career look like a Britney Spears video."

The Dalai Lama has gone into seclusion after hearing of Thatcher's passing. "He's just broken up," said a spokesperson.

U2 frontman Bono and Sean Penn joined in the universal lamentations, releasing a joint statement: "When it came to doing the right thing, we were all her bitches."

Updated On: 4/8/13 at 02:28 PM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 2:30pm

^^^ HA! It's like you took an offical L Ron Hubbard bio and changed the name.

[Roscoe]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 2:32pm

Thatcher sought to downplay her own prominent role in the liberation of Auschwitz and Dachau, making large donations to Holocaust-related charities in exchange for keeping her name out of the limelight. Oscar-winner Steven Spielberg said, "The true extent of her humanitarian efforts may never be truly known. We owe her more than can ever be repaid."

Reports that Dick Cheney plans to have himself scourged at Thatcher's final resting place remain unconfirmed.

Updated On: 4/8/13 at 02:32 PM

[SNAFU]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 3:02pm

Die Sue!

[suestorm]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 3:59pm

Love over Evil!!

Updated On: 4/8/13 at 03:59 PM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 4:01pm

Many people don't realize that Margaret Thatcher spent her early 20s as a wet nurse.

[Roscoe]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 4:05pm

^And in her 30s her services were offered to newborns as well. She's known to generations of English mothers as "Old Dripsy"

Updated On: 4/8/13 at 04:05 PM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 4:17pm

Good Ol' Dripsy.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 5:01pm

Margaret Thatcher died today after performing open heart surgery on herself. An accomplished surgeon as well as her well-known abilities as a Pulitzer prize winning poet, a circus strongman, an expert marksman, a soloist with both the English National Opera (soprano) and London Philharmonic (oboe) and ambidextrous multilingual 15-time prime minister of England, Thatcher would have no doubt successfully performed the operation if it hadn't been for jealous socialists to cause the power to flicker at an inopportune moment.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 5:04pm

I understand she once shot a man in the face for calling her a markswoman.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 5:20pm

Yes. That "woman" line really stung.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 5:59pm

Is it true she invented Post-Its?

[SNAFU]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 6:02pm

She had successfully figured out the science behind pratical hover boards but died before she could write it down!

[JustAGuy]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 6:09pm

Not only did she organize the Stonewall Riots, she threw the first beer bottle.

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 9:29pm

Kenneth Tynan wrote that Thatcher's Mama Rose "re-defines the character in ways Merman couldn't even scratch at."

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 10:19pm

I seen her heal a leper once.

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 10:24pm

On the day Margaret Thatcher died, there was a hurricane in Grantham.

Beyoncé is not an ally. Actions speak louder than words, Mrs. Carter. #Dubai #$$$

[Playbilly]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 10:34pm

Little known fact: She was the original choice to play Sally Rogers in "The Dick Van Dyke Show." When show creator Carl Reiner finally settled on Rose Marie, Thatcher was offered the role of Pickles. Thatcher declined, returned to England and changed her name to Benny Hill.

Updated On: 4/8/13 at 10:34 PM

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 4/8/13 at 10:45pm

She almost killed Cher

[Wynbish]

Posted: 4/9/13 at 12:17am

After a night in the special chamber, ALW penned Prima Donna in Phantom of the Opera as a tribute. Some say that it was after night after night of being on his knees to "implore" her.