Lies My Parents Told Me — Page 2

"Eat your dinner because children in Europe are starving. I alwaya wanted to know how eating my dinner would help that."


My mother: Eat your dinner, children are starving in China.
My brother: Name two.

yenta, my Mother had a variation....it was children in China were starving.

So, I told her.....then SEND IT to them.

I didn't sit for awhile after that.

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You guys had to clean your plates? I was always told it was important to leave behind at least a bit of food on your plate so the Angels know you are not going hungry. I have NO ides where my parents came up with that one!

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If you eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow inside your stomach.

Scared the crap out of me so I never even ate watermelon seeds.

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What about secrets your parents withheld from you? Such as how I was conceived in a hotel room on the way back from visiting family in Minnesota. Doesn't sound too terrible until you take into account my two older sisters were asleep in the next bed. I suppose it was more traumatic for them to learn than it was for me though. They do insist on making a big deal about it and we always have to make a stop in Janesville, Wisconsin on our way up to visit them.

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my dad used to say that he was so glad that he could make sure my sister and i never wanted for anything...

If you sit that close to the tv you'll fall in!


yeah.....okay

"Pray to God and your problems will be solved."

And a more gross one...

"Sausages are cow genitalia." That one was from my crazy grandmother.

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