Madonna says...

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 7:34pm

... that if people don't turn from their wicked ways, they're "going to burn in hell!" She was quoted on Access Hollywood as saying just that. I wonder who she includes as people with "wicked ways?" Pint sized follically challenged crank muppets who laugh at the misfortune of others? Screaming frantic opera hags? Pretentious flaming midget queen provocateurs? Fags?

Only her kabbalah teacher knows for sure.

[jimmirae]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 8:15pm

You must forgive Mo - I think she is having a change of life crisis right now, and will be back in her right damn mind soon - Technical Difficulties you know.
I'm sure her Rabbi loves the SEX book, I sure did. Did she say WHO would be holding the pitchfork by the way?
(Let's hope she doesn't get too wacky and pull a Donna Summer on us as well)
If this keeps up, Her Karma will run over her Dogma soon.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 8:20pm

Still, if a screaming wicked fag puts a silly 30 dollar red string around his wrist, can he avoid burning in hell? If not, can he bring some pricey Kabbalah Water, which insiders say was all Madonna would touch on the American Life tour.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 8:24pm

Madonna is Jewish now, right? I didn't think Jews believed in hell...

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 8:30pm

As Madonna clearly states in the "They're Coming to Take Me Away" portion of "American Life":

I'd like to express my extreme point of view
I'm not Christian and I'm not a Jew
Ho ho hee hee ha hahhhh!

So, in other words, she gets to pick and choose what she believes in, like the magic powers of expensive red thread as well as hell!

[jimmirae]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 8:33pm

I don't believe she is Jewish, Just into the ancient hebrew mysticism as her way of life at this time. She'll drop it as quickly as she did Warren Beatty, You know how Mo's track record reads. I'll bet she really freaked out when she found out children cannot be returned or dropped by the wayside. She has a very bad ADD don't you know?

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 8:37pm

She also talked on the show about being "the disciplinarian" in her family and how if little Lourdes, the child with the moustache like Frida Kahlo's unibrow, leaves her laundry on the floor, then all of Lourdes's clothes get put in bags and she has to wear the same outfit for days on end and "earn" back her clothes. This, "the disciplinarian" tells us, will teach Lourdes to "be tidy," as British women say.

"Madonna Dearest" is going to be a heck of a book.

[jimmirae]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 8:43pm

I thought the same thing when I heard all her rules about no TV at all, Only Mo Mommie's approved DVD's and only if they earned the right, I suppose she forgot her hell as a poor motherless lesbian child. Don't forget she is a true Leo too, She has an EGO to keep healthy. I'll bet Ritchie divorces her by next year. She's too complicated to have so near, and she can bathe in Earl Grey Tea from now till doomsday, She will never be British Royalty. (Who would want to be anyway, Ugh!)

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 8:54pm

I did find it interesting, thank you. Maybe Madonna atones for her past "pursuits" by wearing that special magical red string!

[jimmirae]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 8:55pm

That was a great way you told that, So perfect & concise! Very well done!

Posted: 10/17/05 at 9:47pm

She said no such thing as per Liz Rosenberg - but thanks for another Madonna post!

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 9:59pm

A condo? I think she'd better plan on a castle there. With burning moat.

I found a website that is having a sale on magical red kabbalah thread! I can get your insane snake oil products for you wholesale!


red string sale!

Updated On: 10/17/05 at 09:59 PM

Posted: 10/17/05 at 10:13pm

Updated On: 11/4/05 at 10:13 PM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 10:32pm

You guys, do you think it makes sense that you have to pay a five dollar shipping charge for a magical red thread to ward off the evil eye? It's not even a scapular, but a piece of string.

On the other hand, a ringing endoresment like the following is enough to convince ANY skeptic who still has a functioning brain:

I can feel a big difference in these Red Strings also. The Kabbalah Centre never says their strings are blessed by Kohans.

Yeah, stupid poseur Kabbalah Centre.

Updated On: 10/17/05 at 10:32 PM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 10:43pm

I'm confused. Crank muppet or follically challenged midget? Hag or fag? Kabbalist or a queen provocateur?

And Undi--"GO TO GEHENNA!" just doesn't have the same ring...

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 10:46pm

With her head thrown back on the cover art for the album, Madonna's hairline makes it look like she's almost as bald as Glenn Close! She makes Marcia Cross look like Cousin Itt! And it looks like some queenly stylist said to Madonna, "GO TO GET HENNA!" and she way, way, way overdid it.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 10:51pm

And people keep saying, "Oh the cover looks so great! The cover looks amazing! I am excited for the album because the way the cover looks!" Honey, the president could land a fighter jet on that forehead and still have room for a Mission Accomplished banner.

Posted: 10/17/05 at 10:55pm

All from a man who has never showed his face on this board once!

Guts but only when it when hidden or covert ! Like it's anyone!

What's the line from the Dylan song "......The sky looks like chicken'!

[Tir Na Nog]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 11:37pm

I love when people post these types of things about Madonna. All the while oblivious to the fact that this is what she wanted.

Her comments about "wicked ways" makes sense, and comes from personal experience. I don't think telling people to stop being selfish and be more charitable or your Karma will be screwed is such a bad thing. After 21 years of making people talk this woman's still got it!

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 11:42pm

Hey, I've been a fan from day one. But half the fun of her career has been knowing how much of it is bogus. As Sandra Bernhard, (whom Madonna of the Karma screwed over ROYALLY even though they were "best friends" [tug that red string now, maddie!]) said in her brilliant one-woman show: "'Ray of Light.' The SPIRITUAL album! Suffer. And get back to me."

Watching the woman go on about how material things don't matter and then going to see the American Life tour with the 95 dollar "vintage" True Blue t-shirts, well, you know, she's a big phoney baloney. I just hope the rest of the music on the new album isn't as phoney as "Hung Up."

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 10/17/05 at 11:56pm

SCHMEH!

[Tir Na Nog]

Posted: 10/18/05 at 12:13am

I don't think Madonna is a phoney. Again, she is a pop artist. She has an AMAZING catalog of songs and has paved the way for too many artists to name.

As far as paying $90 for a tshirt. Hell it's her face and image, why not make a couple of bucks. When she says material things are not important she doesn't mean you can't buy expensive things. She means don't worship them like so many of us do.

Posted: 10/18/05 at 8:44am

Again, beware of Namo - not only is he not a fan he barely has ever mentioned her in any of the history of his posts - he's doing this simply to help promote Madonna's new single and album.

Yes, folks, Namo is a shill!
Updated On: 10/18/05 at 08:44 AM

[RobbO]

Posted: 10/18/05 at 8:47am

voice, is that a picture of you and your salon staff?

Posted: 10/18/05 at 8:52am

Updated On: 10/28/05 at 08:52 AM