Michael Moore's (new) open letter to George Bush

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 8:44am

"It Takes Real Courage to Desert Your Post and Then Attack a Wounded Vet"


August 26, 2004


Dear Mr. Bush,


I know you and I have had our differences in the past, and I realize I am the one who started this whole mess about "who did what" during Vietnam when I brought up that "deserter" nonsense back in January.  But I have to hand it to you on what you have uncovered about John Kerry and his record in Vietnam. Kerry has tried to pass himself off as a war hero, but thanks to you and your friends, we now know the truth.

First of all, thank you for pointing out to all of us that Mr. Kerry was never struck by a BULLET. It was only SHRAPNEL that entered his body! I did not know that! Hell, what's the big deal about a bunch of large, sharp, metal shards ripping open your flesh? That happens to all of us! In my opinion, if you want a Purple Heart, you'd better be hit by a bullet -- with your name on it!

Secondly, thank you for sending Bob Dole out there and letting us know that Mr. Kerry, though wounded three times, actually "never spilled blood." When you are in the debates with Kerry, turn to him and say, "Dammit, Mr. Kerry, next time you want a Purple Heart, you better spill some American red blood! And I don't mean a few specks like those on O.J.'s socks -- we want to see a good pint or two of blood for each medal. In fact, I would have preferred that you had bled profusely, a big geyser of blood spewing out of your neck or something!" Then throw this one at him: "Senator Kerry, over 58,000 brave Americans gave their lives in Vietnam -- but YOU didn't. You only got WOUNDED! What do you have to say for yourself???" Lay that one on him and he won't know what to do.

And thanks, also, Mr. Bush, for exposing the fact that Mr. Kerry might have actually WOUNDED HIMSELF in order to get those shiny medals. Of course he did! How could the Viet Cong have hit him -- he was on a SWIFT boat! He was going too fast to be hit by enemy fire. He tried to blow himself up three different times just so he could go home and run for president someday. It's all so easy to see, now, what he was up to.

What would we do without you, Mr. Bush? Criticize you as we might, when it comes to pointing out other men's military records, there is no one who can touch your prowess. In 2000, you let out the rumor that your opponent John McCain might be "nuts" from the five years he spent in a POW camp. Then, in the 2002 elections, your team compared triple-amputee Sen. Max Cleland to Osama bin Laden, and that cost him the election. And now you are having the same impact on war hero John Kerry. Since you (oops, I mean "The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth!") started running those ads, Kerry's poll numbers have dropped (with veterans, he has lost 18 points in the last few weeks).

Some people have said, "Who are you, Mr. Bush, to attack these brave men considering you yourself have never seen combat -- in fact, you actively sought to avoid it." What your critics fail to understand is that even though your dad got you into a unit that would never be sent to Vietnam -- and even though you didn't show up for Guard duty for at least a year -- at least you were still IN FAVOR of the Vietnam War! Cowards like Clinton felt it was more important to be consistent (he opposed the war, thus he refused to go) than to be patriotic and two-faced.

The reason that I think you know so much about other men's war wounds is because, during your time in the Texas Air National Guard, you suffered so many of them yourself. Consider the paper cut you received on Sept. 22,1972, while stationed in Alabama, working on a Senate campaign for your dad's friend (when you were supposed to be on the Guard base). A campaign brochure appeared from nowhere, ambushing your right index finger, and blood trickled out onto your brand new argyle sweater.

Then there was the incident with the Crazy Glue when your fraternity brothers visited you one weekend at the base and glued your lips together while you were "passed out." Though initially considered "friendly fire," it was later ruled that you suffered severe post-traumatic stress disorder from the assault and required certain medicinal attention -- which, it seems, was provided by those same fraternity brethren.

But nothing matched your heroism when, on July 2, 1969, you sustained a massive head injury when enemy combatants from another Guard unit dropped a keg of Coors on your head during a reconnaissance mission at a nearby all-girls college. Fortunately, the cool, smooth fluids that poured out of the keg were exactly what was needed to revive you.

That you never got a Purple Heart for any of these incidents is a shame. I can fully appreciate your anger at Senator Kerry for the three he received.  I mean, Kerry was a man of privilege, he could have gotten out just like you. Instead, he thinks he's going to gain points with the American people bragging about how he was getting shot at every day in the Mekong Delta. Ha! Is that the best he can do? Hell, I hear gunfire every night outside my apartment window! If he thinks he is going to impress anyone with the fact that he volunteered to go when he could have spent the Vietnam years on the family yacht, he should think again. That only shows how stupid he was!  True-blue Americans want a president who knows how to pull strings and work the system and get away with doing as little work as possible!

So, to make it up to you, I have written some new ads you can use on TV.  People will soon tire of the Swift Boat Veterans and you are going to need some fresh, punchier material. Feel free to use any of these:

ANNOUNCER: "When the bullets were flying all around him in Vietnam, what did John Kerry do? He said he leaned over the boat and 'pulled a man out of the river.'  But, as we all know, men don't live in the river -- fish do. John Kerry knows how to tell a big fish tale. What he won't tell you is that when the enemy was shooting at him, he ducked. Do you want a president who will duck? Vote Bush."

ANNOUNCER: "Mr. Kerry's biggest supporter, Sen. Max Cleland, claims to have lost two legs and an arm in Vietnam. But he still has one arm! How did that happen? One word: Cowardice. When duty called, he was unwilling to give his last limb. Is that the type of selfishness you want hanging out in the White House? We think not. Vote for the man who would be willing to give America his right frontal lobe. Vote Bush."

Hope these help, Mr. Bush. And remember, when the American death toll in Iraq hits 1,000 during the Republican Convention, be sure to question whether those who died really did indeed "die" -- or were they just trying to get their faces on CNN's nightly tribute to fallen heroes? The 16 who've died so far this week were probably working hand in hand with the Kerry campaign to ruin your good time in New York. Stay consistent, sir, and always, ALWAYS question the veracity of anyone who risks their life for this country. It's the least they deserve.

Yours,

Michael Moore
[e-mail]
www.michaelmoore.com

P.S. George, I know you said you don't read the newspaper, but USA Today has given me credentials to the Republican Convention to write a guest column each day next week (Tuesday to Friday). If you don't want to read it, you and I will be in the same building so maybe I could come by and read it to you?

Lemme know ...

Link

Updated On: 8/29/04 at 08:44 AM

[SammyGal]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 9:11am

OH Michael. lol

[nystateomind04]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 9:25am

Like you said, LOL. For real, LOL!

[sweetiedarlinmia]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 9:27am

That was a laugh I really needed! Gotta love Michael Moore...

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 9:42am

That letter is not a documentary! Oh, sorry.

He really is becoming the Jonathan Swift (Boat) of our day.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 11:28am

OK Papa, lets hear it...

[voidiflostorstolen]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 11:43am

:) nice. Did anyone happen to catch George W on Larry King this week?

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 12:13pm

I did see the Larry King Live interview.

[NuggetMonkeys]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 1:16pm

Boyoboy, I sure love Michael Moore.
Los cojones de Miguel Moore son mas grande de toda la gente en Los Estados Unidos unido!
-d.b.j-

[Mattio98]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 1:22pm

A master class in satire. Bravo!

[Mythus]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 1:37pm

Am I the only person who thinks Michael Moore is an idiot? Yeah, he doesn't like Bush. I get it. Get over it.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 1:38pm

Well, then I guess half the country are idiots.

[LadyGuenevere]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 1:38pm

I think that Michael Moore...ugh, don't get me started. I just love watching live interviews with that man, I don't know how people can buy everything he says. If he doesn't have his little fact elves next to him, he can't answer any questions.

He's just good at being a smartass, if that makes any sense. (For example, one is Jon Stewart)

And no, I'm not saying that because he is just anti-Bush, there are Dems. out there that think that he is just too extreme and oozing propaganda. And people buy all of it. Updated On: 8/29/04 at 01:38 PM

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 1:40pm

I support his passion. Why shouldn't we support people's passions!!? Maybe he likes Wicked, too?

Seriously, there are plenty of GOPs who act just like him. We need fair and balance don't we?

[LadyGuenevere]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 1:41pm

Ahh...but I don't support the extreme GOP propaganda either. Example being Rush Limbaugh.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 1:42pm

I'm with LG on this one. Another instance where so many people can't see things for what they are, but just want a bandwagon to jump onto, whether it's always accurate and educated or not. It's much easier to take someone else's words as gospel than to do the research yourself. Moore is deified, and it's beyond my understanding why.

And jrb, isn't that the reason why so many of us don't like those particular Rebublicans? So why would we look up to someone else who is just like that?

Updated On: 8/29/04 at 01:42 PM

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 1:43pm

FIGHT THE POWER!

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 2:45pm

I like Michael Moore because he's out there ridiculing what those on the Right are taking as Gospel. Sure, he's a blowhard and most of it's just sarcastic tripe...but he's saying it. Also, LG, I think Jon Stewart has some of the most well-written and consistently funny political commentary out there.
If we can have the Swiftboat Veterans for Lies...err, I mean, truth, then we can handle Michael Moore and his overblown statements.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 3:11pm

The problem is that there are many many MANY people who don't see what he writes as satire, but truth. That's what I don't like about him.

I think that letter is hilarious. As satire. Unfortunately, people take his words and run off with them, without doing their own research.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 3:12pm

"If he doesn't have his little fact elves next to him, he can't answer any questions."

Sounds a lot like the current president. The big difference being that Moore isn't putatively running the country.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 3:46pm

i'll see your elves and raise you a half a dozen googling monkeys.

as far as the letter, it's michael moore. it's what he does. it's freedom of speech.

gw answered a question from matt lauer on vietnam service thusly:

"i think his going to vietnam was more heroic than my flying fighter jets. he was in harm's way, i wasn't."

has anyone been watching the protests on c-span? i think they are protesting fox news more than anything else because i've heard more than any other chant either "fox news sucks" or "fox new: bullsh*t"

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 8/29/04 at 3:52pm

I only think Fox news sucks when they try to claim to be fair and balanced.

There is nothing wrong with being the counter to the liberal media. It's good for the debate.

[Sunfish]

Posted: 8/30/04 at 3:15pm

I just don't buy the "Liberal Media" arguement. Maybe at one time, when newspapers were privately owned, and local broadcast stations were truly local.But that was "used to be". Now, every news cable and broadcast outlet is owned by huge media multi-national corporations, and the news is about the ratings and not what is important for the public to know. A "liberal" media would not have spent four weeks re-running the swift boat ads nationwide. A "liberal" media would not have given Bush & co. a free ride on their war in Iraq for two years, with no questioning of motive or justification or method. They were in lock-step with the administration. Now there is some reporting of the "failures" of the administration, but still with much deference to White House statements which seem to not hold with the clearly identified facts.

Yes, there are individuals who are liberal. There are a lot more who are conservative. That is their trademark, in the talk-radio, talk-cable biz. But the "objective" news is in no way biased towards liberal concerns. They were salivating for violence and confrontation in the protests on Sunday. When they didn't happen, they dropped the story like a hot potato, saying only such and such a number were arrested. Arrests are the only story, not the fact that some 200,000 people gathered peacefully to make their views known. That is NOT liberal-biased reporting!!!