Mitch Hedberg dies at 37
Mitch Hedberg dies at 37
TheatreGrl
Understudy Joined: 5/10/04
#0Mitch Hedberg dies at 37
Posted: 4/1/05 at 9:15pmJust wanted to say RIP to a funny guy who died too early in life.
#1re: Mitch Hedberg dies at 37
Posted: 4/1/05 at 9:17pmI heard earlier today. I'm still stunned.
http://community.livejournal.com/ltd_brands_suck/
CurtainUp2
Broadway Legend Joined: 8/8/04
#2re: Mitch Hedberg dies at 37
Posted: 4/1/05 at 9:23pmFirst Frank Perdue, and now Mitch. What a day!
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
- Nelson Mandela
Feodor Sverdlov
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/21/04
#3re: Mitch Hedberg dies at 37
Posted: 4/1/05 at 9:26pmI never heard of him; but I hope he rests in peace and his family finds comfort at this difficult time.
scooter3843
#4re: Mitch Hedberg dies at 37
Posted: 4/1/05 at 10:40pmCan I just ask how I would know Mitch Hedberg?
"Do you know what pledge time is, Andrew"? said the PBS Executive.
"Yes", Lloyd Webber replied. "My 50th birthday special must be one program that gets done a lot."
"No", mused the man from PBS heedlessy. "Not so much. Our Stephen Sondheim Carnegie Hall concert. That's a big one."
Spoons, forks and knives seemed suddenly to suspend their motion in horror, all around the table.
GovernorSlaton
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/14/04
#5re: Mitch Hedberg dies at 37
Posted: 4/1/05 at 11:02pmWow. That's truly terrible. I was a big fan. RIP.
GovernorSlaton
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/14/04
#6re: Mitch Hedberg dies at 37
Posted: 4/1/05 at 11:08pm
For those who don't know, Mitch Hedberg was a stand-up comedian who would tell lots of non-sequitur jokes, one right after the other. His delivery was excellent, and he developed a cult following. Some of his best quotes:
"Has anyone seen me on Lettermen? 2 billion people watch that show and I don't know where they are. You might have seen this next comedian on the Late Show, but I think more people have seen me at the store."
"I tried walking into a Target , but I missed."
"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long."
"I type 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language."
"I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before."
"I would imagine if you understood Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy."
"It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky."
"I played golf....I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy and that's way more satisfying. Your supposed to yell FORE, but I was too busy mumbling that ain't no way that's gonna hit him."
"I wrote a letter to my dad- I wrote, I really enjoy being here. But I accidently wrote rarely, instead of really. But I still wanted to use it, so I crossed it out and wrote I rarely drive steamboats, Dad. There's a lot you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator. This letter took a harsh turn right away."
"And then at the end of the letter i like to write P.S.- This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated."
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good a a wall. I played a wall once. They're relentless."
"When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away."
"I like rice. Rice is great if your hungry and want 2000 of something."
"I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important that others."
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
"I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad a turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastromi,.Some one needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself."
"I lke refried beans. I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time."
"I got into and argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out and slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up real quick?"
"This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard."
"I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I said screw that, I'll just get a tan instead."
"I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said your gonna have to move you're blocking a fire exit. As if there were a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you are flamable and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit."
"I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me they just say "Mitch," and I say "What?" and turn my head slightly."
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."
"My friend said to me "You know what I like? Mashed poatoes," I was like, Dude, you gotta give me time to guess. If your ging to quiz me, you must put a pause in there."
#7re: Mitch Hedberg dies at 37
Posted: 4/2/05 at 12:08amComedy Central is airing his special right now. I feel like I'm going to cry.
http://community.livejournal.com/ltd_brands_suck/
#8re: Mitch Hedberg dies at 37
Posted: 4/2/05 at 10:07pmaw slaton those were great! thanks.
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