"Mom, I understand if you don't want to love me anymore"

This is what Sean Kennedy said to him mother when he told her he was gay. Sean was killed about a month ago outside a bar. His killer uttered anti gay epithets both before and after the attack. Now his mother, who decided to still love him, is left fighting for a hate crimes bill in South Carolina. Yet some, both here and in Washington, feel we don't need a hate crimes law. How many 20 year olds have to be burried? How many have to have their parents take them up on Sean's offer?

It is incredibly telling that those who oppose hate crimes legislation are people who hate. And more telling that many of those hate in the name of Jesus Christ.

http://www.q-notes.com/top2007/top01_061607.html

---

Yes, hate crimes exists and they are a terrible thing that should be legislated. However, as sad as this story is (and I am not making light of it, believe me) isn't ANYONE disgusted that a gay child would say, "If you don't want to love me because I am gay, I understand." What a f'd up attitude. Why would it ever be understandable for a parent to stop loving a child? Especially if he just happened to be GAY for F's sake?

---

Then it was at the least a manipulitive move on the child's part. Still, it is a bit Judy Blumish for my taste.

---

It actually seems more like a mother inventing a sound bite about a son who cannot refute her than something somebody would actually say.

---

That is possible of course.

But I've known MANY passive-aggressive gay (mostly men) people who have shared their coming out stories and they said exactly the same thing or something similar. They anticipated rejection and tried to use guilt to lessen the blow.

Personally, I don't think it is the best approach. But without the support of an understanding gay fellowship, it is the best approach many young people can come up with.

---

I know several people as well who's parents "stopped" loving them (or mine as well have) when they came out. So sad.

---

If he had said, "I understand that by me telling you this you may not love me anymore..." or "If you choose to stop loving me because of this, that is your choice, but..."

He was a 20 year old kid in South Carolina. Perhaps he hadn't he yet learned the sort of self-empowering talk you're wishing he'd said.

Or maybe he said something along those lines and he's being misquoted.

---

Updated On: 6/21/07 at 02:17 AM

I expect to get shredded for the comments below, but please read them as opinions regarding the law and not morals.

Regarding hate crimes, I find them difficult to define, and even more difficult to legislate and enforce. My understanding of our laws is that one is punished for their actions and not their thoughts. While I'm completely in agreement about the fact that such acts are reprehensible, I'm not sure I agree that they should be a separate class of crimes under our laws. In no way do I think classifying hate crimes acts as a deterrent, nor do I believe that they serve any long-term goal of improving society. I'm all for legislation that targets discrimination, but I don't see hate crimes as serving a useful purpose.

---

i look forward to a day when the mere utterance of the word faggot in any circumstance by anyone other than a gay man (sorry bisexuals, make a f*cking decision why don't you) is punishable by an automatic 60 days in jail and $500 fine for a first offense and graduated mandatory jail sentences and fines thereafter. persons claiming to be gay would have to prove it by tossing harvey fierstein's salad, coaxing wood from arthur laurents and letting jake deckard top him. not necessarily in that order. i can't wait to add more words to this list of words that cannot be uttered.

---

A lesson from the playground: smear the queer

---