No longer recognizing marriages

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 8:01pm

Somebody posted this on the DL and it's tooooooo DeLicious not to share (and adpot immediately):

That's how a gay man in NYC is "giving back" to those who oppose marriage for gays. I like what he's doing and plan to try it. Tom, a photographer and art director wrote the following:

I no longer recognize marriage. It's a new thing I'm trying.

Turns out it's fun. Yesterday I called a woman's spouse her boyfriend. She says, correcting me, "He's my husband", and I say, "I no longer recognize marriage."

The impact is obvious. I tried it on a man who has been in a relationship for years, "How's your longtime companion, Jill?"

"She's my wife!"

"Yeah, well, my beliefs don't recognize marriage."

Fun. And instant, eyebrow-raising recognition. Suddenly the majority gets to feel what the minority feels. In a moment they feel what it's like to have their relationship downgraded, and to have a much taken-for-granted right called into question because of another's beliefs.

Just replace the words husband, wife, spouse, or fiance with boyfriend, girlfriend, special friend, or longtime companion. There is a reason we needed stronger words for more serious relationships. We know it; now they can see it.

A marriage is a lot of things. Culturally, it's a declaration to the community that two people are now a unit, and that unity should be respected. Legally, it's a set of rights and responsibilities. And spiritually, it's whatever your beliefs think it is.

That's what's so great about America. As a Constitutionally secular nation, or at least in reality a vaguely pluralistic nation, we can all have our own spiritual take on what marriage is. What's troublesome is when one group's spiritual beliefs deny the cultural and legal rights of another.

But, back to the point. They say their beliefs don't recognize my marriage, I say my People get married to be recognized as a permanent couple. To be acknowledged by friends, family, and strangers as being off the market, in a relationship, totally hooked up, yikes! It's impossible to say without saying "married". We wear rings to declare this!

So, we can take this away. We can refuse to recognize marriage in the cultural sense. It is totally within our rights, as Americans, to follow our beliefs and recognize or not recognize what we like. I guess this is a call out to all Americans with beliefs similar to mine. If you believe that all people should have equal rights, and if you believe that marriage is one of the greatest destinations of a relationship, then perhaps you believe that nobody should have marriage until everybody does. That's what I believe.

[CapnHook]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 8:13pm

This is brilliant.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 8:14pm

Fantastic!

I'm forwarding that around.

[KathyGriffinLovesYou]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 8:41pm

Hehheh... funsies! I might have to do that.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 8:51pm

I think we've found THE new Facebook status.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 8:55pm

I have always thought marriage was stupid. I should know, too; I've done it 3 or 4 times.

[KathyGriffinLovesYou]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 8:55pm

..... AND BWW Signature!!!

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 8:57pm

I'll sign on for this. So will my, um, longtime companion, Steven.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 9:13pm

OMG, we have a movement and we don't even have to stay home from work!

[sundaymorning6am]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 9:26pm

what website was that taken from?

[artscallion]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 9:32pm

Just changed my facebook status to: "artscallion believes that nobody should have marriage until everybody does. So, he's no longer recognizing ANY marriages"

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 10:32pm

I love it.

[mauriposa]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 11:31pm

This is great. Too bad fbook doesn't list "Is special friends with" as a relationship option.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 11:37pm

I went to Facebook and eliminated my relationship status all together.

Oh, and now that I am no longer recognizing marriage, am I free to have a steamy affair with a much younger man? Just askin'.

[Wanna Be A Foster]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 11:40pm

Genius!

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/23/08 at 11:44pm

Oh, and now that I am no longer recognizing marriage, am I free to have a steamy affair with a much younger man?

That's never stopped any married people I know before!

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 11/24/08 at 12:08am

I know, Phyllis, but I was just hoping there would be something in it for me.

Of course, all the younger, attractive, appealing and magnetic men in my life are gay, so there you go.

[tazber]

Posted: 11/24/08 at 7:12am

Fantastic!

I can't wait to try this one out.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 11/24/08 at 7:20am

LOL Miss P!

[madbrian]

Posted: 11/24/08 at 8:10am

Your timing is lousy! I just spent big bucks on an anniversary gift for my wife. Also, since this renders all children, in fact all people, illegitimate, I should be able to refer to anyone as 'that little bastard'.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 11/24/08 at 8:25am

Yeah, my anniversary is coming up. Can I wait til after I get my present?

[artscallion]

Posted: 11/24/08 at 8:39am

MB, just tell her it's a present commemorating the anniversary of your er...um...party, which is what most of our relatives call our commitment ceremony, which I, but nobody else, call our wedding.) And nobody even acknowledges the anniversaries of our er...um party.

It's interesting because my brother was married a year after I was. They should do a documentary following our two stories. You wouldn't believe the difference in the way our 'weddings' and subsequent 'anniversaries' have been treated. Not in a mean or negative way. But folks just see his as real, and ours as fake marriage lite. He got silver and fabulous gifts for his wedding. We got mostly $25 gift cards. He got a first anniversary party. No one even remembered ours. They don't think in terms of a ..er..um party even warranting an anniversary.

Just another example of why 'marriage' is not just a word. It's an important word. And separate but equal is not equal. Until I get marriage, nobody gets it!

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 11/24/08 at 8:48am

Funny, but artscallion made me just think about soemthing. My older brother got married in the traditional Catholic ceremony. Tons of people. While wedding get-ups, lots of bridesmaids, big reception, blah, blah, blah.

Mine was totally non-traditional in just about every way. No "guests" to speak of. I wore a red dress (Jezebel, you keep on dancing!). No Catholic priest, no reception, etc. Plus it was my second marriage.

Well, I've never been seen as being "married." My brother, yes. Me? Nah. I'm just "pretending." Of course, I have a much better relationship with my Baby-Daddy and our bastards than my brother, whose idea of being a "good husband and father" is calling home once to say "Hi" while he's on one of his many "buddies-only" ski trips.

[artscallion]

Posted: 11/24/08 at 9:10am

It's funny how other people get to decide what's real in our lives, isn't it? Sounds to me like My relationship and MissP's are the real ones. And I declare it so. Our brothers' gigs will henceforth be considered "shams".

Art has a double face, of expression and illusion.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 11/24/08 at 10:48am

i'm still married, but i don't recognize any of you. who are you? maybe it's this scratch on my lens...