Only in Texas

[Unknown User]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 12:38pm

Love. It.

*You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo.

*A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

*You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

*You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

*You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

*You measure distance in minutes.

*Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.

*You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

*You know cowpies are not made of beef.

*Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

*You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

*You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

*A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is.

*You know everything goes better with Ranch.

*You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' " to send them to your friends.

*You go to the river/lake because you think it is like going to the
ocean.

*You aren't sure how exactly everyone at the family reunion is related to you. You also aren't sure if you've ever even seen them before in your life.

*Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:

"You wanna coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[Unknown User]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 1:36pm

So true. Oi!

[slimandslam]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 2:12pm

Whaddya mean, only in Texas?

You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

True in half this country in the summertime.

You measure distance in minutes.

Doesn't everyone? (When I lived in L.A., though, everything seemed to be either 20 minutes away or 45 minutes away. Go figure.)

You know cowpies are not made of beef.

If only Texans know this, I'm appalled at the lack of education going on in schools today. (Not the classrooms, of course; I'm talking about the schoolyards.)

You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

Uh... only Texans shop at Wal-Mart?

[Unknown User]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 2:48pm

A sense of humor, babe. Buy one.

[Calvin]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 2:51pm

A real Texan would not only know that a cow pie is not made of beef, but he or she could differentiate between a cow patty, a cow pie and a cow chip. And has probably made a game of bingo out of it for a fundraiser.

However, the list could be alternatively titled: "Reasons why Calvin left Texas without regret."

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 3:05pm

Things I miss about Texas:

Real chili (no beans)
Houston livestock show and rodeo
State Fair of Texas
Schlitterbahn
Gay dance clubs (I've never found any in the world as good as those in Texas)
Whataburger
Mrs. Bairds Bread
Chicken Fried Steak

My friend and I went to a cafe in Chelsea on the early 90s and their special was "country fried steak". Both of us being from Texas, we were curious to try it. We asked the waiter what came with it and he said, "It has a special white bechamel-type sauce". We asked, "do you mean cream gravy?" He replied, "Maybe." It was horrid.

[Calvin]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 3:09pm

The dance clubs aren't what they used to be, I'm afraid. A lot of them have closed. In Houston, at least, there's one rather large generic one, and the rest are either gone or have gone straight.

I do miss Blue Bell, however. And Whataburger is one of the few chains that automatically puts mustard on hamburgers.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 3:14pm

I loved the Round Up in Dallas, Oilcan Harry's in Austin, and The Bonham Exchange in San Antonio (though it has been a LONG time since I was there). I used to like Pacific Street in Houston because they played the best music. And South Beach was quite pretty inside. What I liked most were the SIZE of these places. Plenty of room to move about and quiet areas for when you are tired of screaming to communicate with anyone.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 4:24pm

I loved the Round Up too..

And, Calvin, go to the link and you can order your favorite flavor.

If I don't have $100 bucks to spend, I just go to Carrabba's Italian Grill. They serve blue bell for dessert.
order page

[Calvin]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 4:29pm

$90 for four gallons of ice cream? I could get my momma to buy some dry ice and ship it for free.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 4:33pm

My parents actually bring me a dozen Shipley's donuts whenever they come back from Houston. Honestly, if Shipley's ever went national, they would be HUGE. Krispy Kreme and Dunkin Donuts are like Dolly Madison in comparison.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 4:36pm

But ah... Tin Roof... such a blessing.

And the wedding cake wasn't so bad.

And I never liked Dunken. I'm not a big donut eater.

[Calvin]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 4:53pm

I do miss my trashy Tex Mex.

In New York, Mexican food is either done too gourmet, too authentic (in my neighborhood) or absolute garbage. Ketchup should NEVER be an ingredient with enchiladas.

I like that bastardized version Texas does.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 4:56pm

My grandfather used to put ketchup in his chili (sin fuegos).

[M J R]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 5:19pm

I'm considering a move back to Texas (Houston) - I'll send ya all the Shipley's you want, Matt!

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/5/06 at 5:40pm

Oh God. I would end up like Goldie Hawn when the police drag her out of her apartment in Death Becomes Her.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 4/6/06 at 2:51am

Mister Matt that just made me spit out my Sprite because I was thinking about that movie today and how much I loved it as a kid, and because that image you projected was just hilarious.

[Rentaholic2]

Posted: 4/6/06 at 3:24am

"A real Texan would not only know that a cow pie is not made of beef, but he or she could differentiate between a cow patty, a cow pie and a cow chip."

Is it sad that I can do this?

and I have one to add to your list:
The four seasons are Almost summer, Summer, Still summer, and Christmas.

I know this isn't really the popular opinion around here, but I think Texas is heaven. Warm, lots of lakes, Longhorns winning the Rosebowl, fresh air but plenty of city life, and it's a much prettier landscape than most movies let on (west texan is gross, but central and north texas are rolling hills...mmmm)
I love the movie Giant except that it makes it seem like the whole state of Texas is one giant wasteland.

as Davy Crockett said (I think), "You can all go to hell, I'm goin to Texas!"

[ZONEACE]

Posted: 4/6/06 at 3:31am

So, does it make me a bad person for wanting to give texas back to Mexico?

[zzannahk]

Posted: 4/6/06 at 6:16am

lol, this title could also be:

"or if you're from a hick town anywhere, usa"

trust me, almost every single ones applies

upstate ny here
we did that lotto cow pattie for a football fundraiser

1. A fire siren (building) signals people to step out and look for the fire (from my house we can here two different disttricts

2. Heat to AC, okay but backwards this week, definfatly AC during the day and Heat at night

3. SAME atleast during summer
"You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade."

4.. SAME, definately, my mom is from S.I. and we all make fun of her,
"You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent."

5. SAME, mostly because nothing is close by, so grocery shopping is 30 minutes away.
"You measure distance in minutes."

6. SAME, who doesn't
"You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit."

7. SAME, did the fundraiser thing, for football "
You know cowpies are not made of beef."

8. Close, my pastor used to end service for a prayer for her fav team, Dallas.
"Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date. "

9. Oh yeah, those gross old mountain men, bearded and all
"You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist. "

10. Wallmart, but the best are bait vending machines
"You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store."

11. Pickup are GOD, in hick towns everywhere, plus our streets aren't paved, they do this tar and loose stone thing, but it would be hell on a benz paint job
"A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is."

12. Yeah, but no one can afford hidden valley
"You know everything goes better with Ranch. "

13. My dad says fixin', he grew up on a farm
"You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' " to send them to your friends. "

14. Hell yeah, the freaking ocean is 3 hours away, for a actually beach more like 5.
"You go to the river/lake because you think it is like going to the ocean. "

15. Duh, the exact point of a family reunion.
"You aren't sure how exactly everyone at the family reunion is related to you. You also aren't sure if you've ever even seen them before in your life. "

16. our soda discussions are fights over which is correct "pop" or "soda"

who wins "soda" because orange soda is clearly labelled as soda