SOMMS Poetry Slam

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 7:27am

Mary had a little skirt
With splits right up the sides,
And every time that Mary walked
The boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
But she didn't wear that one very often.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill
To have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dope.

Mary had a little lamb.
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its ass,
And turned its wool to nylon

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them, too, 'cause he was gay.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Said, "Screw him. He's only an egg."

[joeyjoe]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 7:45am

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
Each with a dollar and a quarter.
Jill came down with two-fifty...

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her
And said,
"Bitch, what you got in that bowl?"

[mominator]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 7:57am

Thanks guys! You both get extra cookies this morning.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 7:59am

Little Boy Blew....because he needed the money.


The Old Lady in the shoe had so many children...
her uterus fell out.

[mominator]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 8:46am

BB..... mom says no extra cookie for you! (ahh who am I trying to kis? Here have a cookie!)

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 8:49am

Thanks for the cookie Mom. And here's another for you...

Mary Had A Little Lamb....that's what she gets for sleeping in barns !!!

[NYadgal]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 8:52am

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider
That crept up beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 8:53am

edit - sorry, SOMMS.
You had already posted the rhyme about Georgie Porgy...

Updated On: 10/5/04 at 08:53 AM

[mominator]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 8:55am

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! I think I'm gonna run out of cookies

[NYadgal]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 8:55am

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

[joeyjoe]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 8:55am

There once was a woman from Leeds
Whose ...

well, something about crabs and a flying trapeze...

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 8:55am

Mary,Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells,
And Cockle shells.
And one F*cking Petunia.

Updated On: 10/5/04 at 08:55 AM

[NYadgal]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 8:57am

we sound like babysitters from hell...

[mominator]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 9:00am

but do keep on sharing. These are great.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 9:07am

One fish, two fish
Red fish, Blue fish
One dead fish

[joeyjoe]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 9:08am

SOMMS, a co-worker sent that one to me years ago when my ex-roommates goldfish died in my care... Updated On: 10/5/04 at 09:08 AM

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 9:26am

I read that quickly and got "goldfish died in my arms"...

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 9:28am

SOMMS - I thought it was:
One Fish Two fish
Dead fish Blue fish

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 9:30am

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack took Viagra
Problem solved

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 11:21am

Damn.... SOMMS took jacked before I did....

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack was hung
And tripped over his d*$^

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 11:29am

There's lots of Jack to go around Kissmy

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 11:36am

There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good, she was very very good.
But when she was bad, she was a nasty beyotch...

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 11:41am

Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John,
Went to bed with his trousers on;
One shoe off, and one shoe on,
Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John
was fooling around with the neighbors wife.

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 2:04pm

Peter Piper picked a peck of plastic peckers

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 10/5/04 at 2:08pm

Jack and Jill went up the hill
They each had a quarter
Jill came down with fifty cents
You think they went up for water???