Self Affirmation - Is it a bunch of crap?

[orion59]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 8:51am

I hear so many talk about their "Spiritual Journey", "Finding Themselves" and "Affirming" their lives. I always wonder, where and how did you loose yourself in the first place? At what point does one stop reading self help books, written by self proclaimed gurus out to make an easy buck by preying on the insecurities of others, and take control of their lives?

These writers of books tell us that there is something horribly wrong if we have an occasional day where we feel depressed or dissatisfied with some aspect of our lives. They lead people to believe that it is "negative energy" that causes this, not just the normal ebb and flow of human emotion. They tell us that meditation, positive thoughts, visualization and belief in magic will make us happy and solve all our problems. They never say "Put down the book, get off your ass and do something if you're not happy." They never tell us "Stop whinning about events that happened twenty years ago and using them as an excuse not to take control of your life."

Personally, I find this approach to life to be a bit dangerous. it seems that many of the people who fall into the traps set by these enlightened authors end up with a false sense of superiority. They jump one book to another each espousing a different variation on the same philosophy. they also tend to begin seeing themselves as more enlightened than the general population and alienate others with a self rightous condescending attitude which just serves to make them more apart from others. Most imporatantly, they lean on these crutches and give themselves over to a higher power or universal energy, completely relinquishing any power or control they have over their own lives.

My feeling has always been that anyone can read a book about harnessing positive energy, dispelling negativity or giving ones self over to a higher power and adopt the simplistic philosophies. Fewer people are able to look at themselves and realize that they are where they are by their own actions. If I am not happy with my life, I need to do something to change it...beyond reading a book and waiting for some omnipotent higher power to change things for me.

What do others think? Is "Finding Yourself" just an excuse not to take control of your life and not take personal responsibility? Is much of this pop psychology just a way to blame someone or something else in the world for your own fears over taking charge of your life?

[Marquise]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 9:02am

"They never tell us "Stop whinning about events that happened twenty years ago and using them as an excuse not to take control of your life."

I read a book that actually *did* give that advice.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 9:16am

Are you talking about specific books? I'm familiar with a lot of thse books, but I've never seen one that says what you say they say.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 2:45pm

OK! Just don't make me come to a cabaret about it!!

[Plum]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 2:46pm

Or a one-person Fringe show.

*runs away*

[Elphaba]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 2:48pm

orion, I've always found it better to discuss what works for me personally, then trying to speak for the entire world.
Since I am not psychic, I would have no idea what does or does not work for other people.

jrb, I promise, no cabaret!

[bta212]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 2:59pm

Louise Hay = evil

[orion59]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 3:15pm

"I've always found it better to discuss what works for me"
"I am not psychic, I would have no idea what does or does not work for other people."

Now this is a perfect example of how the whole anti-negativity, don't take responsibilty craze has effected people. It's amde everyone passive agressive.

You say "I" wouldn't do this or that, but what you really want is tell me that I am making obnoxious statements. You can't find it within yourself to tell me off directly so you take the passive aggressive approach and turn it onto yourself.

Now, you would most likely justify your approach by posting and saying that you just didn't want to be argumentative, or create friction or behave rudely.....don't do that, say what you really want to say.

[Plum]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 3:27pm

Uh...right.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 4:41pm

I did say what I want to say orion, but apprently I did not say what you wanted to hear.......

and bta, I've met Louise........she may be money hungry, but she is anything but evil.
There was a time in LA long ago, when she had some of the only groups for HIV+ people..........and for that alone I must respect her

Updated On: 8/7/05 at 04:41 PM

[Pinguin]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 4:51pm

"Now this is a perfect example of how the whole anti-negativity, don't take responsibilty craze has effected people. It's amde everyone passive agressive."

-I think that's a completely unfair statement, orion. Some medications work for some people, not for others. A particular book will inspire some people and not others.

All in all, I don't care what people need to do to realize the power of the human mind and their abilities, as long as it's not harmful to them. I don't think reading a darn book to focus you or help you put your problems into context hurts anyone.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 5:08pm

Tommy says, "Vitamins and exercise!"

"Scientology is apparently also like Gnosticism in imparting secret knowledge to elites. Critics at www.xenu.net and elsewhere say advanced Scientologists are taught that 75 million years ago the cosmic ruler Xenu paralyzed billions of people in our galaxy, stacked them on Earth and destroyed their bodies with H-bombs, though the traumatized souls survived."

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 5:15pm

Which is territory I treaded nowhere near!

[Pinguin]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 5:31pm

Oh, Scientology ::shiver::

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 6:58pm

"Put down the book, get off your ass and do something if you're not happy." They never tell us "Stop whinning about events that happened twenty years ago and using them as an excuse not to take control of your life."

I don't know what self-help books you've been reading. I have read a couple that have shaped what I believe and my life. The books I have read have taught me not to whine and wait for the universe to do it's thing, but to face whatever obstacles the world throws at you, face them, grow from them, and move on. They have given me the tools to deal with deal with what happened 20 years ago, and move on.

Yes, I believe in affirmations and visualization. Some people believe in prayer... which in the end wind up being similar. And yes, some people take the self-help thing too far, the same way some people take religion too far.

Orion... did you start this thread to start an argument, to be offensive just because? Or did you honestly want to have a discussion on why some people believe in this bunch of crap?

[Elphaba]

Posted: 8/7/05 at 7:33pm

Something's Coming!

Could be!
Who knows?
There's something due any day;
I will know right away,
Soon as it shows.
It may come cannonballing down through the sky,
Gleam in its eye,
Bright as a rose!

Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Under a tree.
I got a feeling there's a miracle due,
Gonna come true,
Coming to me!

Could it be? Yes, it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait!
Something's coming, I don't know what it is,
But it is
Gonna be great!

With a click, with a shock,
Phone'll jingle, door'll knock,
Open the latch!
Something's coming, don't know when, but it's soon;
Catch the moon,
One-handed catch!

Around the corner,
Or whistling down the river,
Come on, deliver
To me!
Will it be? Yes, it will.
Maybe just by holding still,
It'll be there!

Come on, something, come on in, don't be shy,
Meet a guy,
Pull up a chair!
The air is humming,
And something great is coming!
Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Maybe tonight . . .

[orion59]

Posted: 8/8/05 at 7:26am

"Orion... did you start this thread to start an argument, to be offensive just because? Or did you honestly want to have a discussion on why some people believe in this bunch of crap?"

Good question. On this board, I seldom see a difference between an argument and a discussion. I don't think there are more than a handful of people here who are capable of having a discussion about something without it becoming a fight and everyone getting defensive.

I posted this thread because I noticed a lot of talk on the board (maybe I should say fights) lately about self affirmation, banishing negativity, accpeting miracles, etc. I wondered about these attitudes, why people buy into them and, most importantly, why some people who do believe in them tend to develop a self rightous attitude and judge those who don't believe in them. I've seen a lot posts lately that have very subtle digs and passive agressive insults aimed at the less enlightened. I wanted to know why that is.

I also see people on this board sometimes encouraging others to do stupid things because "It will all work out the way it's meant to."
To me, it is all crap. That's my opion of it. An intelligent discussion about both sides of the issue would have been fine with me. If the thread becomes something else, that's fine too, then it's just a source of amusement to me.

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 8/8/05 at 8:22am

Could it possibly be a matter of Faith? There are basically two kinds of people in the world - those who believe in a higher power (call it God, Budha, the Goddess, whatever you care to name it/her/him) and that everything will be taken care of if you have "faith, as of a mustard seed". Then there are those who are strictly realists, who have no belief system whatsoever in anything larger than themselves (I'm not putting either down, by the way, because I firmly believe in "to each, his own".) But I do believe that the basis of your question lies in the Faith issue. Some people put their faith in the self-help books and affirmations because they firmly believe that those things will help them. Others pray, and still others do a combination of all of the above. Whatever works for an individual is great as long as the outcome is a positive one.

[Love4Cheno]

Posted: 8/8/05 at 9:13am

If anyone is interested in self-help books that are very much action-oriented, pick up something by Dr. Don Greene. He's a sports/performance psychologist, and his results-oriented approach requires you to map out what you want and chart a course to attaining it.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 8/8/05 at 9:54am

orion, you said

'I wondered about these attitudes, why people buy into them and, most importantly, why some people who do believe in them tend to develop a self rightous attitude and judge those who don't believe in them.'

and of course your condescending posts on the matter do not do this? LOL

The only one in this thread coming off pompous and self-rightious, is YOU!
You blatantly state "every one who does x,y,and z" is a fool and wrong to do so".....almost sounds like 'The Great Oz has Spoken!"
who's the pompous one, orion?

you aren't fooling anyone........

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 8/8/05 at 10:35am

yeah, orion, the green b*tch, i mean witch, has spoken, so you better just concede the error of your ways and run away before the broom comes out. so sayeth the x, y, z brigades. may the angels have mercy on you and still allow you a miracle or two.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 8/8/05 at 10:38am

It is like anything else. I believe that it can help the right people in the right circumstances. There are good publications and harmful/ignorant publications. I think anyone who is desperate to believe in something just to have something to believe in, will probably fall victim to shysters out for a buck or wackos with extremists views just like any other philosophy or theology. However, there is something to be said for optimism and a positive outlook. When used rationally, they can be very useful tools for improving self-esteem. Some people need a boost to keep from falling into bad habits. If it works, and it is not harming anyone, then I don't see anything wrong with it.

"I wondered about these attitudes, why people buy into them and, most importantly, why some people who do believe in them tend to develop a self rightous attitude and judge those who don't believe in them."

Well, that also sounds a bit self-righteous and judgemental.

[robbiej]

Posted: 8/8/05 at 12:07pm

I had a co-worker (whom I adore) come up to me today and say, 'You have to love every second of your life! You have to stop being bitter and negative and be positive!' (She was actually talking about herself...not me). And I said, 'Isn't it possible to love your life and still have a bad day every once in a while? And acknowledge that bad day? And revel in that bad day?'

I don't care if it's a good or bad day. As long as I wake up in the morning and everything is still working relatively well, then I'll take what comes along. Loving and cherishing your life (to me) doesn't mean being positive all the time. It means experiencing every moment, the good and the bad. And sometimes ya gotta just walk through sh*t and experience that. Some days I'm positive; some days negative. There are happy days and sad days. Hell...there are happy hours and sad hours!

In general, however, I'm not a fan of talking about this. Why? Because it certainly CAN come off as self-righteous and condescending. I'm not gonna tell someone how to live their lives and I sure as hell don't want anyone else telling me how to live mine. Get through you day and I'll get through mine and I hope the best for both of us. And that's where I prefer to leave it.