Sexiest Horror Movies

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 6:07pm

As reported by Nerve.com:

Take the sex out of horror movies and the genre would cease to exist. Not just for the obvious reasons (seductive vampires, shower stabbings, Jaime Lee Curtis), but because a muscle tense with fear and a muscle tense with desire feel pretty much the same.
Unfortunately, the deader Alfred Hitchcock gets, the more sex is used as an ace in the sleeve — something to get pulses racing when a film's less than terrifying. The films below are exceptional: they're sexy, they're scary, and they've been lost in the shuffle of big-budget CGI schlockfests. You may have to comb a few video stores to find them (or go here), but you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that Mr. Hitchcock is not turning over in his grave. — Gwynne Watkins

May (USA, 2002)
Why you haven't seen it: A small indie with little fanfare, May was dismissed by most critics — except Roger Ebert, who replied to Roeper's thumbs-down by saying, "I don't think I've ever disagreed with you more."
Why you should: It's the best American horror movie in years and a prime candidate for cult status. May is a twenty-something veterinary assistant: strange, shy, and unconsciously sexy. Like those around her — slinky coworker Polly (Anna Farris) and pretty-boy loner Adam (Jeremy Sisto) — we want to get to know her better. May's dark side is a little too dark for her lovers, though, and their rejection shatters her fragile hold on the world. As madness turns to violence, breakout star Angela Bettis delivers a tightly controlled performance, chilling yet sympathetic. The film's final shot will lurk behind your eyelids for weeks.
Sexiness: 9/10
Scariness: 9/10


Ginger Snaps (Canada/USA, 2000)
Why you haven't seen it: Actually, you probably have — if you're Canadian. Post-Columbine shock contributed to the film's limited U.S. release, though it's been a sleeper hit on DVD.
Why you should: Being a werewolf involves secret animal desires, sudden surges of violence, and a lot of blood once a month. So does being a teenage girl. And so goes the ingenious premise of Ginger Snaps (original tagline: They Don't Call it The Curse For Nothing). Younger sister B. (Emily Perkins) watches in horror as Ginger (Katherine Isabelle) turns into a lycanthropic teenager, the latter part being more terrifying than the former. Isabelle is so undeniably hot — her red hair streaked white, blood dripping from her new fangs — she may inspire you to become a little more feral, too.
Sexiness: 9/10
Scariness: 6/10

Thesis (a.k.a. Tesis, Spain, 1996)
Why you haven't seen it: Director Alejandro Amenabar turned heads with The Others and Abre Los Ojos (remade as Vanilla Sky), but his debut feature — about a grad student who stumbles upon a snuff film ring — remains largely unknown in the United States.
Why you should: This brainy nailbiter raises a question close to every horror fan's heart: why do we get a thrill out of watching violence? Amenabar is a master tease, cutting away from gratuitous gore, luring us into a false sense of safety. Like heroine Ana Torrent, we don't realize we've been seduced til the knife's already at our throats.
Sexiness: 5/10
Scariness: 7/10

Cemetary Man (a.k.a. Dellamorte Dellamore, Italy/France/Germany, 1994)
Why you haven't seen it: Although the dialogue is in English, this absurdist zombie film couldn't find an American distributor. Well, actually, the director had one offer — on the condition that Matt Dillon replace Rupert Everett in the lead. Sergio Stivaletti said no.
Why you should: Naked Rupert Everett battles an undead Boy Scout troupe — and if that doesn't do it for you, the frequently bare torso of co-star Anna Falchi will. As lonely zombie-slayer/cemetery groundskeeper Francesco, Everett falls for the first woman to try the pick-up line "Nice ossuary." Her undead octogenarian husband interferes, and from thereon in, Cemetary Man is like being sandwiched in a backseat between George Romero and David Lynch.
Sexiness: 6/10
Scariness: 6/10

Audition (a.k.a. Odishon, Japan, 2000)
Why you haven't seen it: A huge hit in Japan, this movie populated American art houses long enough to become controversial — and cause countless nauseated audiences to walk out. (One Boston theater posted signs above the box office: "There will be no refunds for Audition after the movie starts.")
Why you should: Takashi Miike is a genius one week, a hack the next — and since he puts out an average of five films a year, you can do the math. Audition lands satisfyingly in the middle, dishing out equal notes of Hitchcockian uneasiness and grand guignol. The plot could be a Lifetime movie-of-the-week: a widowed TV producer (Ryo Ishibashi) stages a fake television audition to find a wife, but gets more than he bargained for in Eihi (model/actress Asami Yamazaki). Here's your warning: this is not a film for the faint-hearted, and you'll turn away from the horror before the camera does.
Sexiness: 4/10
Scariness: 10/10

Trouble Every Day (France, 2001)
Why you haven't seen it: Most theaters wouldn't gamble on this decidedly freaky film. Though you might have heard the title song by Tindersticks and frankly, it's the best part.
Why you should: "Should" is such a strong word. This low-budget film — so pretentious that Vincent Gallo masturbates with French subtitles — follows a gorgeous couple who have mysteriously begun to thirst for blood. Their rampage of cannibalistic vampirism is hell to watch; they lure their victims with sex, then sucking turns to biting and let's just say you won't be wanting cunnilingus anytime soon. Despite its faults, there's a sort of sick beauty to director Catherine Denis' violence. If you prefer gory scenes that sear your retinas to creepy plot twists (or any plot at all), this might be your film.
Sexiness: 3/10
Scariness: 4/10

And if that's not enough for you, here are the sexiest films you haven't seen...
… About the Electra Complex: Phone (Korea, 2002). This deliciously twisty ghost story rises above its absurd plot device: a haunted cell phone number.
… About the Oedipus Complex: Spider (USA/Canada/UK, 2002). David Cronenberg's subtle, underrated film about the nightmare in one man's mind.
… Based on a TV Show: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (USA, 1992). You don't have to know the show to appreciate this harbinger of later Lynch classics like Mulholland Drive.
… Based on a True Story: Heavenly Creatures (New Zealand, 1994). Peter Jackson's first great film is touching, terrifying, and fiercely accurate.
… Based on a Video Game: Resident Evil (USA, 2002). Mindless zombie fun, as Milla Jovovich knocks the dead deader in her soaking red minidress.
… Made on a Shoestring: Cube (Canada, 1997). You've seen Blair Witch, so check out this one-set wonder about a group of people trapped in a deadly maze of cubes.
And the Least Sexy Scary Movie You Should Never See is Boxing Helena (USA, 1993). The worst elements of soft-core and horror collide in this goofy allegory about a doctor who cuts off his beloved's limbs. Like watching a bored college student pull the legs from a Barbie doll and call it art.

Posted: 10/29/04 at 6:13pm

I would add The Hunger to this list.

[MyNameInLights]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 6:17pm

May is the freakiest scary movie I have ever seen. Scared the bejesus out of me! Every single minute!

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 6:18pm

And the Jamesian horror flick WENDIGO with a nekkid Jake Weber stickin' it to a topless Patricia Clarkson...

[Jon]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 6:20pm

Got to go with The Hunger - Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve in a naked vampire lesbian love scene!

[popcultureboy]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 7:00pm

I have actually seen Audition, Trouble Every Day, Tesis AND Ginger Snaps. Audition is without a doubt one of the most horrendous movies I have ever seen. In a good way.

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 7:21pm

Is it just me or is AUDITION a comedy? I was laughing my a$$ off even while my stomach was turning. CEMETARY MAN is another comedy with Rupert Everett at his hottest.

[popcultureboy]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 7:24pm

I failed to find the humour in Audition. I saw it in a movie theatre and people were losing their minds and walking out in disgust and at one point my friend, who was hiding behind her hands, leaned over and said "I would like to remind you that this was YOUR idea."

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 7:26pm

There was just something so hysterical about the woman: "ki-ki-ki-ki-ki-ki-ki" repeating over and over...

I'm also quite a big fan of MAY.

Updated On: 10/29/04 at 07:26 PM

[broadway86]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 10:05pm

I love MAY. I think that Angela Bettis did deserve an Oscar nomination. It never would have happened in a million years, but... In fact, the only critics award she was nominated for was the TEEN CRITIC Award (http://teencritic.cjb.net) for Best Actress. The people there actually have good taste.

Sexiest horror movie? INTERVIEW...VAMPIRE immediately comes to mind. In fact Bram Stoker's DRACULA (while I horrendous movie) was pretty sexy. Also CARRIE, with sexual undertones galore. SLEEPY HOLLOW was also kind of sensual in some parts.

[zepka102]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 11:49pm

i saw this one at work the other day when putting DVDs on the racks in the horror section... not exactly sexy, but very funny (i edited it so the thread doesn't get deleted or anything)...

"Police detective Luigi Macaroni investigates a series of attacks at New York’s sleazy Hotel Quickie where all the victims have had their [privates] bitten off. While dallying with a young male prostitute, Macaroni has [part of him] bitten off by an ambulatory condom. As condoms start to emerge all over the city and more victims begin to accrue, Macaroni braves ridicule and mounts a single-person campaign to stop the killer condom menace, eventually realizing he is dealing with an artificially engineered creation designed by a mad scientist wanting to punish the homosexual community."


it really is amazing what they come up with...

[Matt_G]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 11:52pm

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE is definately the sexiest to me. God, that's like porn!

Also there's a cheesy indie flick called THE BROTHERHOOD about frat boy vampires that is one of the gayest flicks ever filmed. Definately check it out if you can.

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 10/29/04 at 11:53pm

my fav sexy scary movie: LEECHES!

Rent it if you're a gay man or a straight woman. It is eye candy, and a wonderfully awful story!!

[Marquise]

Posted: 10/30/04 at 2:05pm

cast my vote for THE HUNGER.