Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

#1

Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 1:11pm

What's the stupidest line you've ever had to say onstage?

Mine's easy:

"YOU I shall call....BUMBLENUTS! (To make this even worse, it's said in a German accent. Man...)"

Updated On: 8/1/05 at 01:11 PM

#2

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 1:18pm

During my stoner days:

Dood, that mailbox is looking at me weird. I need to teach the dude a lesson.(They actually have this on videotape)

#3

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 1:27pm

Cruel_Sandwich, you must have been in Musical Comedy Murders of 1940! I did it last year as Marjorie, the show's simply divoon isn't it? (the only problem is we were cast 2 out of a double cast, so there was some tension). But it really is a fun show to do with so many great roles!

As far as stupidest lines, once I played a stupid character so the lines were supposed to be dumb. i can't htink of any realy dumb ones off the top of my head.

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Rosencrantz: "Be happy - if you're not even HAPPY what's so good about surviving? We'll be all right. I suppose we just go on." - from Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

#4

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 1:28pm

Haha holy crap. I thought that play was BEYOND obscure. Wow.

#5

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 1:32pm

"Well, a good neighbor is a good neighbor and what is a good neighbor without tea and crumpets!"

--High School Play written by a faculty member. And this line had to said while sitting in a chair and balancing a tea set and a plate of "crumpets" (actually flattened waffles).

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Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

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#6

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 3:15pm

"Well what do you know! I thought arsenic was a Frenchman!"

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"what have we learned? Don't smoke... don't do drugs and don't sing 'Defying Gravity'." -CATSNYRevival

#7

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 3:18pm

"I think the audience is getting bored. We should swordfight."


Don't worry, that was a student-written play - that crap isn't published.

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"Who is Stephen Sondheim?" -roninjoey
"The man who wishes he had written Phantom of the Opera!" - SueleenGay

GO CARDINALS!!!

#8

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 3:19pm

"Holy Cabooses!!!"

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"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson

#9

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 3:19pm

"Don't die, Emile."

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"If my life weren't funny, it would just be true. And that would be unacceptable." --Carrie Fisher

#10

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 3:20pm

Another from the same play:

"It's a ... stand-in beard." (Especially when I already had a beard myself!)

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"Who is Stephen Sondheim?" -roninjoey
"The man who wishes he had written Phantom of the Opera!" - SueleenGay

GO CARDINALS!!!

#11

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 3:23pm

sounds like WOSQ played Nellie in South Pacific.

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"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson

#12

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 3:38pm

When I was about 13 or 14, i wrote a sex scene in which the woman kept saying "DANGER DANGER! ALL NIGHT LONG! DANGER DANGER! WEAR A THONG" over and over. Hopefully, I've improved...

#13

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 3:41pm

It's not as stupid as some...but it's the stupidest I've ever had. In response to "We need a big finish, with a capital F!"

"But big doesn't start with an F. That would be...fig."

The ultimate dumb blonde moment. The whole one act that it's from is pretty lacking in intelligence though.

#14

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 3:43pm

In the send up of South Pacific which was termed South Passaic.

You do the damnedest things when you're bored in summer stock.

Seriously, try doing that line with a straight face. Most Nellies face upstage.

"Don't die, Emile." Indeed.

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"If my life weren't funny, it would just be true. And that would be unacceptable." --Carrie Fisher

#15

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 4:57pm

"Oh my darling...You could have had me, but you shall never have England."

From the Passion of Dracula.

Just after I've plunged a wood stake in my lover's heart.

#16

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 5:14pm

Cruel_Sandwich and CurtainUp, is it weird that I did MCM at my school too? And that I recognized the line right off the bat?

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"The stage is where I live and come alive and act out all the things that go on in my life. It's not just what I do for a living, it's my shrink and my love affair. No one in my life has ever or ever will kiss me on the mouth like this lover called my relationship with my performance."

Updated On: 8/1/05 at 05:14 PM

#17

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 5:40pm

I never had a stupid line, per se but my friend's one and only line in this production of Treasure Island was "Where's my fish?" I laughed at her for that one for a long time.

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Thou giveth fever.

#18

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 5:53pm

"I always feared the Taj Mahal would look like a biscuit box...Did it?" Haha maybe not stupid exactly, but very weird!

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Sunchips: Best Kept Secret in the chip aisle!!

#19

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 5:59pm

There is no such thing as stupid dialogue only stupid actors.



Just kidding!!!

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"For me, THEATRE is an anticipation, an artistic rush, an emotional banquet, a jubilant appreciation, and an exit hopeful of clearer thought and better worlds." ~ an anonymous traveler with Robert Burns

#20

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 9:08pm

I was in a student-written, 15-minute, German production of Beauty and the Beast. I played Beauty.

Beast: (after really, really cheesy transformation) Beauty, it is me!
Me: It is you!

No kidding.

#21

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 9:12pm

"You won't leave me though, will you? Will you?"

I never figured out a way to say this and not sound overly cheesey.

#22

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 11:06pm

'You go girl.'

It's for my theatre camp play my group wrote and I have to say that line. i don't like it.

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I'm not a gay stereotype. I'm a coincidence.

#23

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 11:16pm

Seriously, try doing that line with a straight face. Most Nellies face upstage."

That only reflects badly on the actresses, not the line.

TheEnchantedHunter
Ted Hunter, Cane, NH

Updated On: 8/1/05 at 11:16 PM

#24

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 11:20pm

I was in a production of Dear Edwina (if any of you have ever heard of it, it would be a miracle) and there was this serious part where Edwina's dreams were crushed, and I'm standing there with a box of brownies, and I'm like..."Brownie?"
I felt like such a dipstick offering her a brownie when she just got rejected!
Click here for Dear Edwina Info

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"And I feel it move me Like a fire deep inside Something bursting me wide open Impossible to hide And suddenly I'm flying Flying like a bird Like electricity Electricity" - Electricity from Billy Elliot The Musical

#25

re: Stupidest Line You've Ever Had to Say...

Posted: 8/1/05 at 11:50pm

I have kind of heard of Dear Edwina, but that's only because I occasionally spend time at MTI.com looking at some of the shows they carry. Yes, my have-a-life-o-meter reading is well below 0.

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"Who is Stephen Sondheim?" -roninjoey
"The man who wishes he had written Phantom of the Opera!" - SueleenGay

GO CARDINALS!!!