The Most Uncomfortable/Awkward Pop Songs Ever.- Page 2

[tazber]

Posted: 12/4/12 at 2:05pm

Every Breath You Take has always struck me as way too stalker-ish.

Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take
I'll be watching you

Posted: 12/4/12 at 2:12pm

You got that right, Taz: "I think it's a nasty little song, really rather evil. It's about jealousy and surveillance and ownership. I think the ambiguity is intrinsic in the song however you treat it because the words are so sadistic....I enjoy that ambiguity. I watched Andy Gibb singing it with some girl on TV a couple of weeks ago, very loving, and totally misinterpreting it. (Laughter) I could still hear the words, which aren't about love at all. I pissed myself laughing." --Sting

[strummergirl]

Posted: 12/4/12 at 2:15pm

I was about to post "Every Breath You Take"

And then there is "You Oughta Know" inspired by Alanis' breakup to Dave Coulier aka Joey from Full House. "Did she go down on you in a theater?"/CUT IT OUT ALANIS!!!

Updated On: 12/4/12 at 02:15 PM

[Gothampc]

Posted: 12/4/12 at 2:45pm

taz, add Private Eyes to that as well

Private eyes are watching you
They see your every move

[best12bars]

Posted: 12/4/12 at 2:49pm

"Thank Heaven For Little Girls" always makes people feel so very comfortable.

[Marianne2]

Posted: 12/4/12 at 2:52pm

Found another one.

Invisible by Clay Aiken
http://youtu.be/cbhOVKhwO_4

First he talks about being a fly on the wall. Then the chorus goes If I was invisible, I could just watch you in your room. Really?

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 12/4/12 at 3:00pm

There was no more awkward moment in my life than being driven to Catholic school by my dad and having my two best girl friends in the back seat singing along loudly to "I Touch Myself."

[Gothampc]

Posted: 12/4/12 at 4:00pm

The Christmas Shoes

A little boy is out trying to buy shoes because his mother is about to die and see Jesus tonight. Then the children's chorus kicks in and you realize that all over the world there are little kids out buying shoes for their mothers who are getting ready to die and see Jesus.

Posted: 12/4/12 at 4:12pm

Only someone who hates Christmas, Jesus and all that is holy could dislike THE CHRISTMAS SHOES.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 12/4/12 at 4:55pm

I'll have to go with Paul Anka's "My Best Friend's Wife," because the whole adultery situation was so difficult for Paul.


I took to her, she took to me
And now we're meeting secretly

From four to five
My dreams all come alive
Would she ever leave me
I live from day to day

And if it ends
I lose two friends
I can't win either way

My best friend's wife
Is the love of my life
I just don't know
What to do about it
My best friend's wife
Is the love of my life
I just don't know
What to do about it

We get together socially
And she's with him
She's not with me

I try to hide
The way I feel inside
Going through the changes
So no one can tell

They say it's Heaven
Being in love
I'd hate to be in Hell

Would she ever leave me
I live from day to day

And if it ends
I lose two friends
I can't win either way

[GavestonPS]

Posted: 12/4/12 at 5:55pm

Is that from the 70s? Adultery seemed to be quite the theme, what with the success of "Torn Between Two Lovers" and all.

In terms of uncomfortable performances of songs, Bobby Darin's swing versions of "Mack the Knife" (a song about a serial killer into which Bobby throws the name of a living person, Lotte Lenya, among the list of Mack's prostitute lovers) and "Artificial Flowers", in which Darin sings gleefully,

"They found little Annie all covered with ice
Still clutchin' her poor frozen shears
Amidst all the blossoms she had fashioned by hand
And watered with all her young tears."

The original song is from TENDERLOIN, of course, and is in the style of ballads popular at the turn of the 20th century. It's Darin who turned it into a camp fest.

[best12bars]

Posted: 12/4/12 at 6:43pm

Best Date Rape Holiday Song:

Baby, It's Cold Outside

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 12/6/12 at 3:40pm

We had an old jukebox when I was a kid. It had classics like Macho Man and Dancing Queen... but this catchy little tune was the one my brothers and I loved to dance to the most...


Put Your Clothes Back On Lyrics
by Joe Stampley

Baby you look so beautiful tonight
I've missed your soft warm skin
And though we've had another fight
I knew that I'd see you again
And when I called you up
And you were playing our old love song
way down low
Well what else could I do,
But come right straight home to you

And here you lay
Just where I knew you'd be
With champagne and perfume
And the way that you're looking at me
Now I'm not saying this king size bed ain't where it's at
Whoa no
But baby I love you more, much more than that

Put your clothes back on
And let's take a walk outside
And if it don't work out girl
We can say that we tried
Put your clothes back on
And maybe we can start talking again
You know it's so good to be lovers
Aah but it's so great to be friends
And I know nobody can make love
Quite like you and me
Together we're so good
But if you only would...

Put them clothes back on girl
And I'll be waitin' outside of the door
Girl, you know I want to touch you right now
But there's got to be more
And baby, somewhere down the road
We'll both remember tonight
So girl let's make it,
mmm, let's make it right

And baby, somewhere down the road
We'll both remember tonight
So girl let's make it, mmm, let's make it right
Put them clothes back on
And let's start it all over again
Put your clothes back on
And let's start actin' like friends
Put them clothes back on

Posted: 12/6/12 at 4:08pm

A BIG HIT on Country radio. A paralyzed Viet Nam vet watches his wife get dolled up for a night on the town:

It's hard to love a man whose legs are bent and paralized
And the wants and the needs of a woman your age Ruby I realize
But it won't be long I've heard them say until I'm not around
Oh Ruby don't take your love to town

She's leavin' now cause I just heard the slamming of the door
The way I know I've heard it slam one hundred times before
And if I could move I get my gun and put her in the ground
Oh Ruby don't take your love to town

Posted: 12/9/12 at 9:09pm

Baby It's cold outside...


Winner....

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 12/9/12 at 9:24pm

The Killers do an awesome cover of Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town.

I admit I never really saw what was so wrong about Baby It's Cold Outside, until recently when it was on the radio and I noticed the "Say what's in this drink" lyric...

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 12/10/12 at 1:05pm

[picturetaker9211]

Posted: 12/10/12 at 4:02pm

The song Whistle by Flo Rida that was popular this past summer & also was on Glee this past season, makes me feel super uncomfortable & awkward! It's a shame that it's so catchy.

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

It's like everywhere I go
My whistle ready to blow
Shawty don't leave a note
She can get any by the low
Told me she's not a pro
It's okay, it's under control
Show me soprano, 'cause girl you can handle
Baby we start snagging, you come up in part clothes
Girl I'm losing wing, my Bugatti the same road
Show me your perfect pitch, you got it my banjo
Talented with your lips, like you blew out a candle
So amusing, now you can make a whistle with the music
Hope you ain't got no issue, you can do it
Give me the perfect pitch, ya never lose it

I worked at a summer camp over the summer & when the kids would hear the song, I just wanted to cringe.

[strummergirl]

Posted: 12/10/12 at 4:07pm

I think I read this on a blog and it has stayed in my mind. Doesn't Gotye's "Somebody I Used to Know" sound like a really ranty email from an ex?


EDIT: It was on a Jezebel although the post engendered the roles, but I just think it universally is the ranty email from an ex. At least it is self-aware when the Kimbra part comes up and tells him off. Still, its popularity is a bit bizarre. Updated On: 12/10/12 at 04:07 PM

[OperaBwayLover]

Posted: 12/10/12 at 8:58pm

I always found "Into the Night" to be slightly creepy:

She's just sixteen years old
Leave her alone, they say,
Separated by fools
Who don't know what love is yet
But I want you to know

If I could fly
I'd pick you up
I'd take you into the night
And show you a love
Like you've never seen - ever seen
It's like having a dream
Where nobody has a heart
It's like having it all
And watching it fall apart
And I would wait till the end
Of time for you
And do it again, it's true
I can't measure my love
There's nothing to compare it to
But I want you to know...

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 12/11/12 at 5:52pm

How about one from Cole Porter...

MY HEART BELONGS TO DADDY

While tearing off a game of golf
I may make a play for the caddy
But when I do, I don't follow through
'Cause my heart belongs to Daddy

If I invite a boy some night
To dine on my fine Finnan Haddie
I just adore, his asking for more
But my heart belongs to Daddy

Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy
So I simply couldn't be bad
Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy
Da, Da, Da, Da, Da, Da, Da, Da, DAAAAD

So I want to warn you laddie
Though I know that you're perfectly swell
That my heart belongs to Daddy
'Cause my Daddy, he treats it so well

While tearing off a game of golf
I may make a play for the caddy
But when I do, I don't follow through
'Cause my heart belongs to Daddy

If I invite a boy some night
To cook up some hot enchilada
Though Spanish rice is all very nice
My heart belongs to Daddy

Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy
So I simply couldn't be bad
Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy
Da, Da, Da, Da, Da, Da, Da, Da, DAAAAD

So I want to warn you laddie
Though I know that you're perfectly swell
That my heart belongs to Daddy
'Cause my Daddy, he treats it so well

[ksimone1120]

Posted: 12/11/12 at 6:32pm

friday by Rebecca Black lmao

[justagirl2]

Posted: 12/11/12 at 7:42pm

"Father Figure" and "Into the Night" were my first two thoughts...and then I thought of "Too Close" by Next, which I'm sure children of the 90s will remember.

Baby when we're grinding
I get so excited
Ooh how I like it
I try but I can't fight it
Oh your dancing real close
Now swing it real slow
(You know what you're doing don't you)
You're making it hard for me

Gross.

[Jon]

Posted: 12/12/12 at 10:04pm

No one has mentioned the wost part of "Havin' My Baby" - the bridge where he talks about abortion:

Didn't have to keep it
Wouldn't put you through it
You could have swept it from your life
But you wouldn't do it...

And regarding Steven Stills' "Love the one you're with" - the whole idea of the lyric is ripped off from a song from FINIAN'S RAINBOW:

When I'm not near the girl I love
I love the girl I'm near.

[strummergirl]

Posted: 12/13/12 at 12:08am

Elvis Presley's "Little Sister". FILTHY

Well, I dated your big sister
And took her to a show
I went for some candy
Along came Jim Dandy
And they snuck right out of the door

Evry time I see your sister
Well she's got somebody new
Shes mean and she's evil
Like that old boll weevil
Guess I'll try my luck with you

Well, I used to pull your pigtails
And pinch your turned-up nose
But you been a growin
And baby, it's been showin
From your head down to your toes

Little sister, don't you
Little sister, don't you
Little sister, don't you kiss me once or twice
Then say it's very nice
And then you run

Little sister, don't you
Do what your big sister done