The Official Raúl E. Esparza "Spread the Love" Thread- Page 384

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 2:56pm

WOW.

I'm trying to phrase this the best way so it doesn't sound weird...I mean...just b/c I don't see much wrong w/ making internet friends especially having met so many...and recently a couple of friends sent me holiday cards and my mom saw and was like oh that's so sweet and my mom would never lock me away or anything...

Could you expand/explain more why that would be the reaction? Perhaps it's a stupid question and would be the normal reaction of mothers giving the situation and mine's just weird? But I really don't understand why parents would be so vehemently against it, especially after meeting and hanging out w/ us quite a bit.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 4:20pm

Okay, first of all, I was being facecious when I said I'd be under house arrest. But I'd be in SERIOUS f*cking trouble.

Honestly, this isn't something that I can explain to have like... analyzed. It's very simple. My parents just think that this sort of activity on the internet is very unsafe. They're paranoid. Always have been, always will be. Yes, you have to be careful, but I'm not reckless with my information. Everybody has different beliefs, and they act on them. And even if I were to tell my mom about my friendships from here, and to tell her about them at the point where they are now -- how vital they are, etc -- the fact would still remain that I met them doing something which is, to my parents, very dangerous. It wouldn't matter that I've met them and spent time with them and that they've stayed with me for extended periods of time, or that I talk to them constantly. The fact will *always* remain something like "you shouldn't have done it in the first place."

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 4:44pm

Ahh okay thanks, I understand better now. I understand the paranoia of the internet, I guess I didn't get the you shouldn't have done it in the first place aspect.

"Honestly, this isn't something that I can explain to have like... analyzed"

Oy gavolt, do I really have a pretense of always sounding like a psychologist?? Eh suppose I do a tad, but let me know if it's ever bad, I need to be careful even w/ friends, I know I'm just in college and never pretend to have a pHd or anything and there have been times more than once in the past when a friend has scolded me that I should stop trying to be their psychologist...

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 4:47pm

Well, if they think it's wrong, of course I "shouldn't have done it." My mom saw me surfing the boards once, like a day or two after I joined, and was like "you don't do this, do you?"

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 4:50pm

No no...I mean...like...I view it as I knew all along I was being safe and careful and then the fact that I've met and made friends in my mind serves as proof that I was careful and it was never THAT dangerous and I think my friends and family understand that...so I just meant like...I didn't realize they would still view it w/ the same degree of it's dangerous and you shouldn't have done it after having such positive, nondangerous experiences, that's all, but now I understand better.

Anyway, I respect you all who realize you can't really talk about this much. It's become a very important aspect of my life and I can't imagine having to hide it or lie about it or anything.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 4:54pm

But the truth is that we all took a chance; that there IS risk in doing this. And for a paranoid parent, "I thought about it, and look, I'm safe! Plus, I have really great friends!!" isn't an excuse for going and doing something they think is so terrible. Being lucky doesn't excuse doing something wrong, which I recognize, even though in this particular situation, I don't think it's so wrong. The point of the matter is that I perfectly well could've been caught in a trap, like so much of the crap that does go on on the internet -- what if that had been the case? I did something potentially dangerous, and *when* I did it, I had no idea of the outcome, right? That's why they'd be upset.

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:08pm

I suppose. I mean there is a risk but I never thought it as big as others. Like most of the ppl I met I've talked to for a while and seen pics and i mean sure they could have been scary ppl pretending but it's like I told my mom...it's not like I ever agreed to meet them in an abandoned alley. Most of the time other ppl had met them already anyway. It was usually at a show or somewhere where there'd be a lot of people so I never saw myself in real danger. But I understand what you're saying from their perspective.

Now I also understand why it's difficult for us to hang out when you're stuck at home. Hmmm...maybe we met at all the concert/benefits we've gone to particularly those involving Rent?

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:13pm

Yes, but it's not a matter of the outcome -- it's a matter of that when I first set out joining this board, *at that time* I was doing something potentially unsafe and bad. In each particular scenario I've made sure it's safe and all, but it's the very, very basic act of even conversing with people I don't know via the internet. That in and of itself is not a good thing, to my parents. My mother has never been a very trusting person, at all. I don't agree with the way she feels about this, but I see where it comes from. She's neurotic to begin with.

It's funny, but really irritating that even when I tell my mom I met __ at *insert name of event* she thinks it's far-fetched and ridiculous that I could form a friendship by waiting on line for something. And, even if untrue, it's totally plausible.

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:13pm

The only way I get to meet people is saying that I am going to habg out with em - because apparently my mom thinks she knows em.

It's weird. But lateley I have been saying "Oh, so-and-so is a friend of Em's"

P.S. My parents don't know about BWW.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:16pm

Well, she knows me by association. I always tell my mom you're a friend of the roomie.

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:18pm

Yessah.

And I met your dad for - what - a second?

But my dad always asks to see what I wrote about LaChiusa that prompted him to PM me. I said, "oh, I wrote it on some theatre blog...."

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:25pm

hahaha. There's always an alternate explanation.

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:25pm

That's rough, I'm sorry. But like I said I definitely understand better. I mean I'll even give her some credit, though I'm not really talking about terms of dangerousness but I feel I'm sometimes too trusting of people. Like see the good in them and trust them when I shouldn't, not b/c I think they're dangerous but just...yeah...so a little of both isn't a bad thing.

Actually though I have made quite a few friends from stage doors or talking to them at events or whatever...I mean if you think that way, that would limit your idea of friendship, no? Then the only justifyable place to make friends would be the ppl in your school or job?

We could go the friend of a friend of a friend route...

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:28pm

My mom still thinks it all peculiar, which is why she's never met any of y'all, no matter how I can figure to explain it.

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:34pm

BSo, I thought your parents knew about BWW...so how did you explain me?

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:35pm

Same with my parents - they think the whole "B'way blog" is weird.

Let alone a forum.

So I just say, "Em is ________'s roommate and is interested in theatre and _____ thought we should meet."

Now it's "And Em always has friends with her who I talk to and I am going to hang out with them - not Em."

So, Kerrie and Liotte are two of your friends, Em, who I have hung out with...now I don't need your supervision any more. I can play on my own!

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:38pm

haha, I do the same!

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:41pm

So thanks for being here, Em, and providing me with an elaborate lie.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:42pm

*bow*

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:43pm

I'm still confused...I met your mommy for a second, what was I explained as?

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:49pm

Do you really wanna know?

No. For you, there was no need for an explanation.
Updated On: 12/12/05 at 05:49 PM

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:52pm

Oh, just cuz I live here, she just assumed I was a friend you knew? Cool.

Besides, some people believe there is no explanation for me...

And there we go Em we found our connection like I said: friend of a friend of a friend.

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:53pm

Just had a thought...couldn't you all just say we're friends from school? How would they know otherwise?

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 5:55pm

Because my mom knows everyone in my school. DOB, Address, and all.

She has files she started since I was born.

Then she had those files converted to a mini-disk placed inside her brain when I graduated HS. She knows too much to risk such a simple lie.

But a large, elaborate one - it will short-circuit the woman's brain!

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/12/05 at 6:03pm

Eventually, my mother finds out almost everything.