Frightening thought:
Do you think, if and when I get fat enough, if someone were to stab me in the stomach...gravy would pour out?

(That is seriously what I was thinking driving home)
"It's not always about you!!!" (But if you think I'm referring to you anyway, then I probably am.)
"Good luck returning my ass!" - Wilhemina Slater
"This is my breakfast, lunch and f***ing dinner right here. I'm not even f***in' joking." - Colin Farrell