I think I should win on three qualifications:
1.) I coined the terms "fruit tart" and "fairy princess" in replacement of "fag hag" because the names flatter both the fruit/fairy and the tart/princess.
2.) I hag gay boys in multiple states, juggling them all.
3.) And, finally, even if this is stooping low (snicker), in reference to the chick whose boobs enter the room before she does, I AM a 36D, and my gay boys are insanely jealous.
Do I win?
Avatar - Isaac, my blue-fronted Amazon parrot. Adopted 9/7/07. Age 30 (my pet is older than me!)