The Tolerance Trap — Page 3

Creepy right-wing blowhards, like Maggie Gallagher, are asking for “tolerance” for fundamentalist Christian homophobia, something I support, as long as the homophobes don’t want to get married

I love that. I'm so tired of the anti-gay folks (usually the ones of the Christian variety) going on about how they "love" everyone, which is crazy to me that you'd "love" people and want to go out of your way to things that mess with their lives (Prop 8, et al). I'd never seriously say I loved someone I didn't know, and I think I probably actually hate these people, yet I'd never support amending constitutions to prevent them from marrying or having children or think they should be fired for their beliefs of anything. But somehow these people think they are some how to moral victors because of the BS "love" they keep professing.

There is a price to pay for "normal" and making being gay somewhat mundane. You sacrifice some of the celebration of diversity, but you gain true equality in that you're treated just like everyone.

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Well, I don't think it's only the definition. Equality under the law is different from being treated equally in daily life.

The gay rights movement seems solely obsessed with legalizing marriage like it's the endgame. After marriage is legalized (and fair hiring/firing practices are in place, etc) where will that leave the movement?

I think more emphasis needs to placed on opening minds and changing attitudes for equal treatment in day to day life. Not being invited to my cousin's wedding because of my sexuality made me feel less equal than any law ever did.

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Posted by Namo:

It's captured for me in this section:
How did we go from gay liberation to gay predisposition? Or even from gay pride to tolerance, immutability, acceptance? Such a far cry from the days of "We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it." The tolerance trap murmurs instead, "We’re here, we’re not really queer but vaguely gayish, be nice to us."

YES! A thousand times yes. While racial and sexual identity are not completely interchangeable, I think there are probably some parallels to this ambiguity some of us are feeling about "progress" and "tolerance" in the lgbt community and what some members of the civil rights movement have felt over the last couple of decades. In certain circles its verboten to even suggest that there is something more valuable than "tolerance". You see it in comments on popular lgbt blogs like Queerty and Towleroad when stories featuring a decidedly queer representation of gay men are presented -- comments like "this is how straight America sees us!", "why can't we all just act normal and stop pretending?", "how are we ever going to get marriage equality if gay men are taking off their clothes and dancing in parades?" And don't even talk about the fact that some gay couples enjoy healthy, open relationships. That drives the "tolerance" brigade up the wall!

Not being invited to my cousin's wedding because of my sexuality made me feel less equal than any law ever did.

One of the best aspects of gay marriage is the revenge aspect: Now you have the opportunity to NOT-invite that cousin to your own wedding, which will, no doubt, be much more fabulous.

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Ha! Oh, boy. Times are changing.