The Truth about Italians.....

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 11:45am

Italians have a $40,000 kitchen upstairs, but use the $259 stove from Sears in the basement to cook.

God forbid if anyone EVER attempted to eat Chef Boy-are-dee, Franco American, Ragu,Prego, Kraft TV dinner or anything else in a jar box or can.

The following are Italian Holidays:
3rd weekend in August - Tomatoes for the sauce.
1st weekend in October - Grapes for the Wine;

Meatballs are made with Pork, Veal and Beef.
We are Italians, we don't care about cholesterol.

Turkey is served on Thanksgiving, AFTER the antipasto, manicotti,
gnocchi and lasagna.

Sunday dinner is at 1:00. The meal goes like this...

Table is set with everyday dishes...doesn't matter if they don't
match...they're clean. What more do you want.

All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the napkin goes on the left.

Put a clean kitchen towel at Nonna &Papa's plate because they won't use napkins.

Homemade wine and bottles of 7up are on the table.

First course, Antipasto...change plates.

Next, Macaroni (Italians call all pasta Macaroni)...change plates.

After that, Roasted Meats, Roasted Potatoes, Overcooked
vegetables...change plates.

THEN and only then (NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL) would you eat the salad (HOMEMADE OIL &VINEGAR DRESSING ONLY)...change plates.

Next, Fruit &Nuts - in the shell (on paper plates because you ran out of the other ones by now).

Coffee (Espresso for Nonna, "Medigan" coffee for the rest) with Sambuca.

Hard Cookies to dip in the coffee.

The kids go play...the men go to lay down.
They slept so soundly you could perform brain surgery on them without anesthesia...

The women clean the kitchen.

Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna - Half the sentence was English, the other half Italian.

Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but can nail you in the head with a shoe thrown from the
kitchen while you're in the living room.

The true Italians will love this; those of you who are married or dating an Italian will understand this, and those of you who are friends with Italians will forward it to them.

Posted: 8/16/05 at 11:48am

I thought eating the salad last was a French thing?

[Carl Magnum]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 11:48am

God this is a picture of my life and sundays at my ex's house................don't forget the homemade red wine. 5 glasses in and you can't stand anymore.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 11:50am

CC..as a kid I always mixed the homemade wine with the 7 up...we were always allowed a glass at the holidays.

[Carl Magnum]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 11:53am

There is nothing better in this world than a sunday afternoon italian dinner..........nothing.

Posted: 8/16/05 at 11:56am

Why mix it though?

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 11:57am

What about the plastic on the furniture?

Updated On: 8/16/05 at 11:57 AM

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 11:57am

"The women clean the kitchen."

Well, after all those dirty dishes, no wonder they're throwing shoes at everyone else. I hope a few of those shoes hit a man who was sleeping.

I do love Italian families, though. I always wanted to be Italian (despite the dishes).

[xxnewgirlxx]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 11:58am

Aaaah, yes. Welcome to my life.

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:00pm

I love me a hot Italian Stallion (How cliche, huh)

So new, what happens when you're old?

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:05pm

captain..did you ever have homemade Italian wine...at 5 years old you better mix it with soda....I think they gave it to us because it made us sleep.

[Carl Magnum]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:10pm

Homemade red wine makes you get into the wrong bed......your girlfriend's married sister's bed.

[ConvinceMe2]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:12pm

My grandmother (mother's mother) is from Italy. We always eat our salad at the end of the meal, on the exact same plate.

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:13pm

Probably because you ran out of clean ones.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:15pm

CM2..do you crush up a meatball with the salad too...love it !!! My maternal Grandmother is from Italy too..as a matter of fact she is 94 years old today !!!

[ConvinceMe2]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:18pm

I love the mix of the oil and balsamic with the sauce (gravy) on the plate. Wouldn't think of eating salad any other way! Yes, to the meatball.

Updated On: 8/16/05 at 12:18 PM

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:21pm

Can I have a meatball recipe? I looked online, but I'd rather have an authentic Italian one.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:34pm

Captain..I'll PM you Grandma's recipe...but remember there is no measuring..you just know the amounts....I learned from helping her.

[ConvinceMe2]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:37pm

There are so many different kinds of meatballs. I make them the way my grandmother and mother make them. You do everything by sight and feel, so I've approximated the measurements. Really have no clue. Of course, you can just multiply everything, for each pound of meat.

1 lb ground beef (no more than 10% fat)
3 slices bread (broken up in small pieces NOT bread crumbs)
1/2 cup grated or shredded romano cheese (NOT parmesian)
1 egg
1/4 cup milk
1 cloves minced garlic
1/2 cup of fresh parsley
salt and pepper

Mix bread, garlic, cheese, parsley, eggs and milk all together. Salt and pepper the meat, and mix together with the bread mixture. Form into balls and fry in extra-virgin olive oil.

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:41pm

Yummy.. Thanks :) I'll try and make them tonight and let you know how they go.

What about the pasta? Which type of pasta do y'all prefer?

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:55pm

I only use Barilla pasta.

[MasterLcZ]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:58pm

For Christmas, substitute "Virginia Ham" for "turkey".

(Our Family were old school - only Ronzoni pasta. NEVER Butoni!)

[ConvinceMe2]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:59pm

For me, only Barilla.

Posted: 8/16/05 at 12:59pm

Happy Birthday to Grandma. And to paraphrase a line from FIDDLER ON THE ROOF - May God bless and keep Grandma . . . far away from Boobs.

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 1:03pm

My ex (the good ex) was italian, and yes, I understand most of these. Granted, he's 2nd generation and from Kentucky, but still.