Tiger Woods Jokes
Tiger Woods Jokes
Joined: 12/31/69
#1Tiger Woods Jokes
Posted: 12/17/09 at 12:34pm
It's been a month already- It's time.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after three Ho's.
What's the difference between a golf ball and an SUV? Tiger has no problem driving a golf ball 300 Yards.
Roscoe
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/15/03
#2re: Tiger Woods Jokes
Posted: 12/17/09 at 12:50pmLame jokes for a lame scandal.
"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers." Thomas Pynchon, GRAVITY'S RAINBOW
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." Philip K. Dick
My blog: http://www.roscoewrites.blogspot.com/
#2re: Tiger Woods Jokes
Posted: 12/17/09 at 12:56pmNot a joke, but Wendy Williams said this: "Tiger Woods has never done anything to help the Black community--and he is Black whether he wants to accept it or not--so I don't give a damn about him or his endorsements."
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
MrMidwest
Broadway Legend Joined: 2/8/05
#5re: Tiger Woods Jokes
Posted: 12/17/09 at 1:56pm
"The gods who nurse this universe think little of mortals' cares. They sit in crowds on exclusive clouds and laugh at our love affairs. I might have had a real romance if they'd given me a chance. I loved him, but he didn't love me. I wanted him, but he didn't want me. Then the gods had a spree and indulged in another whim. Now he loves me, but I don't love him." - Cole Porter
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
#6re: Tiger Woods Jokes
Posted: 12/17/09 at 2:35pm
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions. When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these b*tches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
#7re: Tiger Woods Jokes
Posted: 12/17/09 at 3:39pm
Billie Dee Williams introducing Tiger Woods commemorative plates....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgiCX_y1BW8
"This show had the WORST magnets on Broadway!"
Updated On: 12/17/09 at 03:39 PM
#8re: Tiger Woods Jokes
Posted: 12/17/09 at 5:32pmSurely there's something involving "golf clap," what with all the lack of protection.
#9re: Tiger Woods Jokes
Posted: 12/17/09 at 5:34pm
^ LOL! That's brilliant Danmag.
From SNL "Tiger Woods ran his car into a tree and a bunch of women fell out."
"If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it." -Stephen Colbert
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
#10re: Tiger Woods Jokes
Posted: 12/17/09 at 6:26pmI have to admit, knowing Roscoe disapproves of something makes it more fun!
#11re: Tiger Woods Jokes
Posted: 12/18/09 at 3:49pmPJ -- Wendy's just upset that Tiger wasn't tryna holla at her hoochie a..
#FactsMatter...your feelings not so much.
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