To my gay brothers and sisters

No matter what happens in the next brief period of time, it is apparent that we are not going to be taken care of right away - and in the case of one of the options, we are literally going to be disenfranchised from the benefits of the society at large. Owing to that fact, I urge, plead and beg with you to do what is necessary to take care of yourselves.

Do whatever research is necessary for you to fully know and comprehend the benefits that might be available to you, no matter how many hoops you have to jump through to get them. I strongly recommend the financial advice of Andrew Tobias. Some of you may know him as the author of The Best Little Boy in the World. He also happens to be one of the foremost experts on financial management in the country. I also know from experience that he gets his own advice on gay partnership benefits and legality from the most current resources available.

And not everything at stake boils down to investment type arrangements. Many of us live in many different parts of the country, and the state laws can vary WIDELY. We just had a visitor from Georgia who is very connected within the state government. The state laws about to be enacted there are, in his words, 'draconian,' and will severely limit the availability of certain benefits because of sexual orientation. Find out NOW if you live where these events are about to take place, and if there is ANYTHING you can do to get something in place before they take the right away, do it NOW.

Ultimately, while it makes me sick to my stomach and breaks my heart that we have to face these real possibilities, it is our OWN FAULT if we don't do anything within our power to take care of ourselves.

If you are in a partnership, or have friends who are, do EVERYTHING YOU CAN to protect yourselves and make whatever arrangements you can - no matter what you have to do to accomplish it. My partner and I are completely protected from the state and federal government. We had to go a few extra miles to make sure we were, and we have the advantage of living in California, which actually has done what it can to help us out. But the end result is that we are protected. Our property is ours, and can't be contested. We have essentially the same rights as spouses because we found a way to get them. It isn't always easy, but it IS many times possible. And if you have to choose where to put your energy, put it into providing for the sanctity of your own lives. These forces around us that want to deny us our existence will be left with their hatred and darkness, and we can go about our business.

These are times that could diminish our wills and darken our souls, but ONLY IF WE LET THEM. No one - no matter how they come to their ideologies - has the right to deny us the integrity of our existence. Hold your heads up high, surround yourselves with the love of those who accept and understand, do what you can to insure your protection and know that NOTHING can erase the essence that is YOU.

DGrant - thanks so much for your passion and concern now and always...you are an inspiration for a floundering through life kind of gal like myself...

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DGrant, your post actually made me cry.

It's times like these that I thank my lucky stars I'm living in gay-friendly Ontario, Canada, where gay couples have been marrying for over a year and no big hoopla has been made of it. My heart goes out to you, my gay American brothers and sisters. Rage, RAGE against the dying of the light!

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Bravo to your words of encouragement. We are entering a dark time in our nation's history. It seems as if someone forgot that we are all Americans and are created equal.

Let's take care of each other. In the words of Nelly and Flush Entertainment - We All We Got!
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Yes, DGrant, this is very important to remember. Thanks for the reminder. Regardless who wins, neither party has endorsed our full equality and my life really won't change even if Shrubya steals another one and I turn to drink.

As they say, "if you want something done right..."

-Jerry

Thanks, D.

I'll be on the look out, Matt.

oh, Dg, if only you could have an hour with Bush and Cheney alone.
For talking, of course.

i'd tell, d, even if they didn't ask.

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Singingbackup - at the risk of seeming to oversimplify the situation, the key is to find yourself first.

And, your kind thoughts are greatly appreciated, but I am hardly a role model. I'm simply a man who is living a life full of discovery and willing to share and learn from others.

I second that amen.

Rath - I am grateful everyday for pretty much everything in my life - and having this extraordinary experience of love in my life is not on the list, it is the reason and the point of it all.

And that's what counts, NYstateofmind

D Grant;
My partner and I are also fortunate to live in California and we have also completely protected ourselves and our properties. We are also fortunate enough to work in the entertainment industry and our employers are extremely gay friendly . We are fortunate enough to consider ourselves fully married without the need of some Nazi in the white house telling us wether we can be or not. Ihope the same fortune on everyone who so wants it.

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