To my gay brothers and sisters- Page 2

[DAME]

Posted: 9/5/04 at 7:07pm

D Grant;
My partner and I are also fortunate to live in California and we have also completely protected ourselves and our properties. We are also fortunate enough to work in the entertainment industry and our employers are extremely gay friendly . We are fortunate enough to consider ourselves fully married without the need of some Nazi in the white house telling us wether we can be or not. Ihope the same fortune on everyone who so wants it.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 9/5/04 at 7:18pm

Thank-you so much for this post. A lot of people need something like that every so often. It's people like you that keeps our hopes up and don't let us feel ashamed of who we are for any reason. <3

[Unknown User]

Posted: 9/5/04 at 7:28pm

Dame - I figured you did, but it's good to know for sure

This is the problem with the whole 'state by state' concept. I have a real fear for those who live in places that could seriously deter their ability to get anything done for themselves no matter how hard they try. Listening to what our friend said about Georgia was frightening. He lives in Atlanta, which as we know has a very large gay population. BUT, that doesn't determine how the state as a whole exists - and many of those people who live in Atlanta and feel prtected because of the city may find out something very different is the reality.

Again, I seriously recommend doing a little research to find out exactly what your status is wherever you are.

[wildparty20]

Posted: 9/6/04 at 11:51am

DGrant - thank you so much for your post.

My partner and I live in Michigan... we've been "married" for 2 years (tomorrow the 7th is our anniversary!) and we have preliminary documents in place for our health care and such. We have bank accounts in both of our names, etc... We don't have a lot... and neither of us can afford a lawyer for the other protections that we feel we need. It was announced two days ago that an appeals court in Michigan is requiring a petitioned amendment to the state constitution denying marriage, civil unions, and domestic partnerships and all benefits to the GBLT community to appear on the Nov. 2nd ballot. This is after the election committee deadlocked on the petition. The two democrats said that the amendment was misleading and should include that rights currently granted by the state and some cities would be taken away from those receiving them. For example, the city of Kalamazoo where I live currently provides domestic partnership benefits. If this amendment passes, they will be striped away from the few who do take advantage of them. The two republicans wanted it on the ballot as is. Our conservative courts have said it will appear as written. (The same court system that has let a conservative judge refer all cases of gay adoption to himself... and not letting these cases come before any court... a clear violation of power and constitutional due process) while our state government does nothing to stop this abuse of power.

In light of this and the probable passage of the said cursed amendment... my partner and I don't know what to do. Our documents that we have made may become void... we don't know... and cannot consult a lawyer for lack of $$$. We are seriously considering moving to Canada. Although we haven't really looked into that option and the logistics of it (moving costs, citizenship, jobs, etc). It's a scary world out there right now. It is hard to not think of these as dark times. We do what we can... volenteering our time and energy to the GLBT organizations in town... but that is not what seems to talk in this state. Money is the message. And how can we compete with that?

I was watching a cable access feed out of Lansing a couple months ago. The program had a representative from a Detroit based gay rights group talking about the amendment. I thought that he did not represent our hopes and our fears accurately. He said that we shouldn't have the amendment because we already have a DOMA in place in this state. What kind of argument is that for taking away people's right to hospital visitation, inheritance, etc? The old argument of polygamy and beastiality came up from some of the conservative members of the panel. He didn't have the tools to fight those arguments either. The big question however was... "How are you going to fight this amendment." And he replied, "through education about how this amendment will effect our families." Then the panel member asked how he was going to do that..."You're organization only runs on $1,000,000 a year... that's not enough to education a whole state." And he did not have an answer to that question. He said that they would do what they could.

This is the scary part for me. These people who hate us have so much money to throw around and spread their lies and hate. I... have nothing. I really don't know how to fight that. Hence... it seems easier to pack up and move to someplace where the situation seems better (i.e. Canada). On the other hand... will things ever get better in the US if we have a mass exodus of gays from the states? I don't know how to answer that. It seems like all of the choices we've been left with are pick the lesser of many evils. It is discouraging to say the least.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 9/6/04 at 12:10pm

Wildparty - first of all, happy anniversary Also, thank you for sharing your story. It illustrates better than I ever could the point I was trying to make. I would suggest that you check with either a Michigan based gay help line or the ACLU to see if there are any lawyers who have offered pro-bono advice (at least) or even some legal assistance (at best.) Another avenue for references, even if you are not affiliated with their churches, are Dignity (Catholic) and Integrity (Episcopalian.) My thoughts and prayers are with you, as they are with all who are simply trying to find their way in spite of the world around them.

[showmethetony]

Posted: 9/6/04 at 11:54pm

just wanted to bump this one in case anyone didn't read it yet...

[BlueWizard]

Posted: 9/8/04 at 9:49pm

Thanks Showmethetony for bumping it so I could read it, and thank you Wildparty20 for sharing your story with us. These are indeed very trying times, but I wish you the best. One day, you WILL celebrate gay marriage in the United States, I believe it.

[midtowngym]

Posted: 9/9/04 at 11:21am

Damn, all you Queens are 'partnered'. No wonder i can't find a husband on this board. Don't send me back to the sex sites!

[BT]

Posted: 9/9/04 at 11:43am

Sorry, midtown. But don't worry, we'll fight the fight so that when you find that guy on the sex site you can marry him all proper like.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 9/9/04 at 10:10pm

yeah--cuz there are no single guys on this board. Yeah. NONE.