Tiff, please. IF you want Wacko Jacko, at least go back to the mugshot, for the sanity of us who still have it.
"During this performance, please feel free to let your cell phones and pagers ring willy-nilly. However, do remember that there are heavily-armed knights on stage and you might well be dragged up and impaled."
(Pre-curtain announcement at the new Broadway musical Monty Python's Spamalot)