Ohh let's see where to start.
I've been in a nasty funk for the last month and I don't know why. I'm single, and sick of it. I've been single, in other words, out of a relationship for 2 years, and I deserve a good and decent relationship and I'm sick of all the frogs that have come and gone. I am making friends and I love that because I've never made fast friends before but sometimes I feel like a dud next to them. Of course they're all older than me, which doesn't bother me. I'm the only one who doesn't smoke or drink. They all drink, a few of them smoke. But I keep the idea that I'm the only one with morals and who is standing their ground intact.
Also back on the bitchy side, I like my roommate. He's nice, he's smart, he's kinda quiet, and he's straight. Doesn't bother me at all. But he leaves the tv on all the time and all he watches is f**kin' BET. I've seen every damn rap video out there right now and I have had enough of the same stuff over and over. And at night the channel shows those stupid "Hey wanna chat? Text the word 'sexy' to number blah blah blah" over and over again. Sometimes he watches cartoon network which is fine. but he never turns the tv off. He leaves it on at night. And recently he's been having suggestive conversations with his girlfriend at night. He gets under the covers and "talks" to her. BLECH. I'm too tolerant on the outside because I really don't feel like saying anything most of the time. I don't unless I feel compelled to and at this point it's irritating me but I can handle it, somewhat.
And furthermore, my voice teacher is the bane of my music minor existence. Not really, but I've only had 3 lessons with her and she already has me wanting to change my minor. Granted I'm the one who wanted voice lessons so badly because I'd like to further develop my range,tone, etc. But the woman thinks she's God's gift to voice. I swear she's trying to turn me into some legit-trained singer and I am just not cut out for that. I'm naturally a rock-esque singer. But I decided to bite the bullet but of course I didn't know it'd be like someone making me feel stupid to get something right. With me, you have to specify most of the time. I'm singing this song called "Passing By" about a love at first sight kind of thing and she wants me to "deliver" the song, to "tell the story", and she neglected to tell me I didn't have to worry about how I pronouced the syllables correctly. When I asked her she said "Oh you're quick, Frank, you're quick. That's what I've been beating my head against the wall trying to get you to do." ok, I'm not stupid. I just need clear instructions. Not some smart-assed beating it into my head. She's one of those teachers who thinks when you make one mistake you have to learn everything all over again. It's like I'm a total moron and let me say if I wanted to be a total moron I wouldn't bother doing this. I mess up once and it's mainly because she screws up on the piano and I miss my entrances. UGH. I want to learn, and she is helping me a bit but these little things are driving me up the wall. She makes me watch myself in the mirror which is a good thing but the con to that pro is that it's under flourescent lighting and I look 10 lbs heavier under that kind of lighting. As if I'm not already wanting to rip my hair out at this point. I have to look at Frankie the Albino Frog. RIBBIT RIBBIT.
UGH anyway. I feel somewhat better now. I need to get a second voice teacher. One who can actually be taken from time to time and not just in small doses. Plus I only have this woman for 30 minutes on Monday. That's not good enough. It's because majors get 1 hour, minors get a half.
enough. I'm done. lol.
I don't WANT to live in what they call "a certain way." In the first place I'd be no good at it and besides that I don't want to be identified with any one class of people. I want to live every whichway, among all kinds---and know them---and understand them---and love them---THAT's what I want! - Philip Barry (Holiday)
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