WELCOME, EDDIE VARLEY- Page 251

[EddieVarley]

Posted: 1/24/05 at 2:44pm

To quote Phantom2,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 1/24/05 at 2:45pm

Damn...I missed him again !!!

[beacon1]

Posted: 1/24/05 at 2:51pm

Straight female on deck!

*partially covers eyes*

Has RSR posted yet today? I don't want to miss another picture.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 1/24/05 at 4:13pm

well, I think we all need to inspect these new biceps. Of course, by "inspect" I mean LLLLLLICK.

[EddieVarley]

Posted: 1/24/05 at 10:01pm

I'm making a rare p.m. cameo to say HBO's "Dirty War" is scaring mesa very much!

[BwayTheatre11]

Posted: 1/24/05 at 10:05pm

I love you Eddie...

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 7:23am

They take a lickin' and keep on tickin'.

[beacon1]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 8:22am

Star Wars Pop Tarts, Eddie...

Hey, Jimmy Smits is in Episode III, right. *swoon*

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 8:27am

Jimmy Smits was on Ellen yesterday.

[popcultureboy]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 8:31am

Was Ellen wearing her pink pullover?

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 8:32am

Arrrrggggghhhh!!!!

[mominator]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 8:34am

So folks whose is up to seing Julius Caesar? Denzel Washington as Brutus? Oh so very happy!

[beacon1]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 8:51am

I MISSED TAPING JIMMY SMITS

*weeps*

[EddieVarley]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:07am

As many of you know I live(at the moment) in the forgotten NYC borough of Staten Island.

Dante would be right at home in this hellish cluster of mullets and broken dreams...how did I end up here you ask? Well one evening, three years ago I had too much red wine, next thing I knew I had forsaken my $1100 a month ONE BEDROOM on the Upper East Side and found myself living on a tree lined street in the Dongan Hills section of SI...

Now there are advantages, I have a huge apartment, a beautiful in-ground swimming pool outside my front door (I pretend to be Norma Desmond in the summer months) and the small monthly rent of 600 bucks.

Sounds like a fair trade right? RIGHT?!

WRONG!

Because it's easier getting in and out of KABUL than it is getting back and forth from STATEN ISLAND!

This morning because of a broken down MTA bus it took me TWO HOURS! Not only that, BUT, because everybody on SI acts like they know you, I had to endure the horror of speaking to the woman I call "Pork Chop Rosie" 'cause that's all she ever talks about PORK CHOPS! She's forever detailing the meals she makes for what I am sure is her horrid family! Rosie and I were sitting next to each other as this act of transist terrorism took place, I swear I felt like I was going to take a hostage...several of them.

Once I got off that vile bus, I could barely stand, I nearly fell down Kim Novak/Pinic-style! It took a Starbucks TRIPLE Pumpkin latte to get me safely in the doors of my other daily horror...my job.

So here I sit, still trembling from the nightmare of my morning "trip" into the city, please pass the hemlock, I'm DONE!

[beacon1]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:12am

((( Eddie )))

Here, hon, have one of my favorite casseroles...

pork chops and baked beans with cornbread and tossed salad...

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:12am

Eddie..sorry about your commute, but thanks for solving my problem of what to make for dinner...pork chops and applesauce.

[popcultureboy]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:12am

And I thought I was having a bad morning.

[beacon1]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:14am

Bboobs...when you typed that did you hear Peter Brady doing Humphrey Bogart???

Eddie, hon, go kick a bus tire...you'll feel better.

Commuting is not fun. Why doesn't Mr. Shaiman put you on his payroll so you can spend days lazing about the house and entertaining Woo and Ree???

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:15am

Beacon...you scare me sometimes.. knowing what I'm thinking...LOL !!!

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:18am

I feel your pain Eddie! Okay I don't, because I only have an eight minute drive along a scenic river to work each day. But, none the less, I understand the terror of having to sit next to someone like Pork Chop Rosie. Okay I don't, because I ride to work alone and I happen to love the other white meat. I understand having to endure a job that eats away at your soul. Okay I don't, because I love my job, I love my boss, I love my river view office only an eight minute drive from my fabulous house. I hope I helped make you feel better! I'm always here for you.

[beacon1]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:20am

SOMMS...

Hire me...you must have a need for a straight female assistant who is Church-going, community-minded, and stalks only after hours and on weekends...

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:20am

So SOMMS..can I send you my resume' ?

[EddieVarley]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:22am

*turn taser gun on SOMMS*

*sets to "kill"*

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:25am

*passes popcorn to Beacon*

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/25/05 at 9:31am

Uses Star Wars Action Ring (premium from Pop Tarts box) to deflect taser beam and beam is redirected and hits ... (to be continued)