Weirdest Thing Ever Said By a Child?
#2
Posted: 4/1/06 at 5:35pm
I love "Kids say the darnest things!"
My friend worked at a summer camp one year and was quite skinny. The next summer she went she had gained quite a bit of weight. When the young campers saw her, they asked her "when's the baby due?"
My friend worked at a summer camp one year and was quite skinny. The next summer she went she had gained quite a bit of weight. When the young campers saw her, they asked her "when's the baby due?"
"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule
"I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178
#3
Posted: 4/1/06 at 5:41pm
My little cousin called a smoothie a smunkie. I have no clue where it came from but it was really funny.
~Take me for what I am. Who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn. Take me baby or leave me!
~I?d be happy to die for a piece of what Angel had. Someone to live for, unafraid to say ?I love you.?
-Rent
#5
Posted: 4/1/06 at 7:15pm
i was on the bus to my camp one year and there was this girl, maybe 14 years old who had this litle girl who was maybe 5 sitting next to her. The 14 year old had bad acne, but the little girl asked her if she was cold, because she had a lot of goosebumps on her forehead. I felt so bad for her...
#6
Posted: 4/1/06 at 7:17pm
I'm doing The Music Man right now and our pianist was out one day so one of the girls who is also in an a capella group was going to warm us up with her pitch pipe. Our director announced "Jess is going to warm us up with her pitch pipe." Molly, one of the kids goes "What's a bitch pipe?"
Whatever happened to class?
#7
Posted: 4/1/06 at 7:20pm
In 1959 I was two years old and my mother was pregnant with my brother. She gave me the typical Daddy plants a seed in Mommy routine to explain her expanding belly. I went to the OB office with her one day for her monthly check-up. We walked into a waiting room of very pregnant women and I shouted out,"LOOK AT ALL THE SEEDS THE DADDIES PLANTED!" She wanted to crawl into a hole but there wasn't one big enough.
#8
Posted: 4/1/06 at 7:29pm
Sueleen, I think that may have been my first word.
I starred in a short film called Magnetic Personality. Check it out!
#10
Posted: 4/1/06 at 8:06pm
"your mother burns in Hell."
It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story...
AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956
#11
Posted: 4/1/06 at 8:09pm
My 4 year old goddaughter said the following this past Thankgsgiving (it was in Spanish, so I roughly translate)
"I like the Christmas Tree because it farts!!"
"I like the Christmas Tree because it farts!!"
#12
Posted: 4/1/06 at 8:11pm
Ew. I hate The Shining.
And then, do you know Monseiur Marius, I believe I was a little in love with you.
♥♥♥
♥♥♥
#13
Posted: 4/1/06 at 8:11pm
Ew. I hate The Shining.
And then, do you know Monseiur Marius, I believe I was a little in love with you.
♥♥♥
♥♥♥
#14
Posted: 4/1/06 at 8:25pm
The trojan man commercials on TV stuck in my step brothers head for some reason. So he'd run around yelling " Trojan MAAAAAAAAANNNNN." so we told him that it was ok to do at home because we found it quite funny, but he shouldnt say it at his dad's house because he'd get in trouble (the man is VERY religous). So we ere sitting on the couch and he was just looking at the tv when the commercial came on and sadi " I dont know why my dad doesnt like him, he's just an innocent man!!"
While playing telephone at the dinner table it was my step sister bekah's turn to start so she leaned over in her moms ear and said " S**T F**K S**T F**K......." That was pretty fun!
The same sister just says the weirdest things:
"someones cigaretting"
"I broke my bones"
and she also does the dance the bald guy does on teh six flags commercials!
~~EM~~
While playing telephone at the dinner table it was my step sister bekah's turn to start so she leaned over in her moms ear and said " S**T F**K S**T F**K......." That was pretty fun!
The same sister just says the weirdest things:
"someones cigaretting"
"I broke my bones"
and she also does the dance the bald guy does on teh six flags commercials!
~~EM~~
#15
Posted: 4/1/06 at 9:56pm
when i was 15 i was sitting on the bus to camp with my friend vanessa... she was the one who introduced me to rent and we were listening to her cd... i guess her 8 year old sister had heard it a few times at home, beacuse after finding out what was playing on our headphones, she ran to the back of the bus and screamed "mucho masterbation" and did a lovely hand movement to go with it.
Less is more
Ugly is beautiful
"My brother plays a drag queen... and I'm surprised he looks as good as he does in drag." - Adam Rapp
"thanks, abba. now i'll forever have an image of you as a tattoed hardcore straightedge grrl savaging people in the mosh pit." - papalovesmambo
"Yeah Abba. All the filthy crap you spew out there on those boards. I for one, am equally shocked. :-P" - AnnaK
Ugly is beautiful
"My brother plays a drag queen... and I'm surprised he looks as good as he does in drag." - Adam Rapp
"thanks, abba. now i'll forever have an image of you as a tattoed hardcore straightedge grrl savaging people in the mosh pit." - papalovesmambo
"Yeah Abba. All the filthy crap you spew out there on those boards. I for one, am equally shocked. :-P" - AnnaK
#16
Posted: 4/1/06 at 10:04pm
This isn't so much weird as it is funny.
A couple weeks ago I was at a friend's house, and her sister and (nearly) four-year-old niece were over as well. My friend was showing me some pictures from a recent trip she had taken, and her little nice was looking over her shoulder. At one point, her niece chimed in with "Woah! That's tight, bitch!" Her mother, who was sitting across the room, said "What was that?" at which point the little one looked up with her big blue eyes and responded "I love you mommy?"
It was priceless.
A couple weeks ago I was at a friend's house, and her sister and (nearly) four-year-old niece were over as well. My friend was showing me some pictures from a recent trip she had taken, and her little nice was looking over her shoulder. At one point, her niece chimed in with "Woah! That's tight, bitch!" Her mother, who was sitting across the room, said "What was that?" at which point the little one looked up with her big blue eyes and responded "I love you mommy?"
It was priceless.
#17
Posted: 4/1/06 at 10:19pm
I babysat for a little girl recently and I had some scars from pimples on my face. She asked me why I had chicken pox.
<--Sometimes it's easier to get out of a jam than into one
#18
Posted: 4/1/06 at 10:22pm
My cousin, age 9: How do gay men have sex?
Like a firework unexploded
Wanting life but never knowing how
Wanting life but never knowing how
#19
Posted: 4/1/06 at 10:28pm
my pseudo-step-brother, age 5
He had drifted off during a long car ride. When they reached their destination, his father opened the door to the backseat and told him they had arrived. He sleepily lifted his head, keeping his eyes closed and said, "but dad... I can't see!"
True Story.
He had drifted off during a long car ride. When they reached their destination, his father opened the door to the backseat and told him they had arrived. He sleepily lifted his head, keeping his eyes closed and said, "but dad... I can't see!"
True Story.
#20
Posted: 4/1/06 at 11:08pm
The other day I was babysitting, and a 4 year old boy said the following things to me:
1. "Do you know why God is so great? Because he can't go to jail."
That was completely out of the blue; we were playing catch outside and he randomly blurted that out.
2. "No, that won't fit you because you're 71."
(I'm nowhere near 71).
1. "Do you know why God is so great? Because he can't go to jail."
That was completely out of the blue; we were playing catch outside and he randomly blurted that out.
2. "No, that won't fit you because you're 71."
(I'm nowhere near 71).
#21
Posted: 4/1/06 at 11:13pm
I was babysitting this family for the first time and both the little girl (5 i think) and the little boy (around 8 or 9) kept on asking me "How big are your boobs?"
that was awkward.
that was awkward.
<--- the set of A Midsummer Night's Dream that I was assistant stage manager for during the 2007 season at the STNJ outdoor stage.
-Dre- You must remember all the same that at the crux of every game is knowing when it's time to leave the table... And it's important to be artful in your exit. No turning back, you must accept the con is done... It was a ball, it was a blast. And it's a shame it couldn't last. But every chapter has to end, you must agree.
~Dirty Rotten Scoundrels~
There's a special kind of people known as show people. We live in a world full of dreams. Sometimes we're not too certain what's false and what's real. But we're seldom in doubt about what we feel.
~Curtains~
It is a far, far better thing I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest I go to, than I have ever known.
~A Tale of Two Cities ~
~Dirty Rotten Scoundrels~
~Curtains~
~A Tale of Two Cities ~
#22
Posted: 4/1/06 at 11:16pm
"are you my daddy?"
"They're eating her and then they're going to eat me. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!" -Troll 2
#23
Posted: 4/1/06 at 11:21pm
I worked at a daycare and there was a 3 and a half year old who was attached to me. When I went to go for my lunch break, he was crying and I said to the other teacher *as a joke*
"I'm gonna have to take him home with me"
When his mother came to pick him up later that day, he said to her- "Mommy, she (as he point to me) said I'm gonna have to go home with her. I want to."
It was more cute than weird.
"I'm gonna have to take him home with me"
When his mother came to pick him up later that day, he said to her- "Mommy, she (as he point to me) said I'm gonna have to go home with her. I want to."
It was more cute than weird.
"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule
"I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178
#24
Posted: 4/1/06 at 11:22pm
my friend's first sentence was "that f***ing son of a b*****".
"You never saw how far the crack had opened/
You never knew I had run out of rope and/ I could never rescue you." -the last five years
#25
Posted: 4/1/06 at 11:24pm
Britney Spears child's first sentence:
"Oops, I farted again"
"Oops, I farted again"
"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule
"I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178
