Broadway Legend Joined: 6/30/05
Snergh? Updated On: 1/10/07 at 05:19 AM
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
"The Hallmark Of Aristocracy Is Responsibility."
oh brother, that did me in.
edit: oops, i thought it was just "worst advice" in general. carry on.
Updated On: 1/10/07 at 06:38 AM
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/11/06
"When your happy, smile. When your sad, smile."
....WTF!?
"That was fine. Let's try the scene again, but this time, do it better."
From my onstage wife; "Act like your talking on the phone to a girl."
Not really advice, but a friend of mine assumed the only reason monologues are asked for in auditions is to see if you can memorize lines.
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/3/04
Oh so many. Most of the time, they are going after something good, but they just aren't being precise with their langauge. Here are seven of my favorites.
1. "Can you say it like this..."
2. "Be more yourself"
3. "That's too big"
4. "Listen a little more"
5. "Don't pretend. Actually do it."
6. "Think back to the last time this happened to you."
7. "Don't _____________."
Line readings are the WORST...
Broadway Legend Joined: 1/3/05
I went to the worst audition workshop one time. One piece of advice the guy gave us was this:
I was singing a song for him, that I would use for an audition/performance. The song starts out kind of sad/quiet/definitely not happy and by the end is big and defiant and etc etc. After the first couple lines, the guy stopped me and asked my why I looked so sad. Umm... because that's how the songs is at the moment. The guy said "Well we don't know that, so you should start out happy at all times." WHAT?
Line Readings...There's nothing like being cast in a role the director played in college, and still wishes he were young enough to play it again.
Worst Advice...."Make a choice, just make a choice....ok, not THAT choice!"
Once I was in a show with a guy who had never had a drink in his life, and he had to play drunk for a scene. His version of drunk at first was to charge around the stage, shouting every line and knocking down all the set pieces.
Someone -- and I don't even think it was the director -- told him the best way to play drunk was to pretend that one foot was nailed to the floor. The next time we did the scene, the guy stood and bounded in a circle the entire time.
They never took my suggestion, which was just to take the guy out, get him plastered and videotape it.
I was once told to stare at an imaginary surrealist painting. In OLEANNA. Now how the audience would EVER know what I was doing was beyond me....
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/11/06
I hate to do cold readings. I screw up and never get the part that I wanted when I do. When I prepare a monolouge then I get the part I wanted...oh well.
It's a long story BUT...
The worst advice I got wasn't a critique on my acting but on my audition material choices for SETC screenings back when I was in college. The professors who taught the acting classes "coached" each of us who auditioned and helped us choose appropriate material.
When I brought in my original choices for monologue and song, I was told to go back and choose something more obscure that the judges would be less inclined to have heard before. I went back and found a decent monologue from an lesser known play and I obtained the music to a new song that I knew no one else would sing. This was back in 1999 right after Parade closed, and I wrote Jason Robert Brown about the sheet music to "Come Up to My Office". He graciously sent me a copy of it (and since this was before the vocal selections book was released) I knew that I had the song that would knock out the judges.
I did well at auditions and was selected as an alternate -- However, when the judges made their final summations of what they liked in the chosen auditionees, one remarked, "We were happy that so many of you weren't afraid to perform the classics, and that confidence weighed heavily in our decision making process."
Oh well....so much for being cutting edge and unique!
I find that NOBODY does the classics anymore which is why I always sing an old song--i figure the older directors will appreciate it and the younger ones wont know it...
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/29/05
From a director...
"I need you to project that line from a little deeper inside. Like, pretend your speaking that line from your hoo-haa..."
I kid you not.
"Breathe from your hoo-haa..."
This wasn't to me, but a friend of mine, from the director:
"When you wear your hair over your shoulders you look like a gorilla. She is not a gorilla."
Yeah.
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/15/05
"Sing out Louise!".
"I need you to project that line from a little deeper inside. Like, pretend your speaking that line from your hoo-haa..."
Who was your director, Peach? Kristin Chenoweth?
Updated On: 3/9/17 at 04:34 PM
After one horrific dress rehearsal, the director looked at the cast and said...
"Could you at least make your characters likeable?"
Updated On: 1/10/07 at 04:51 PM
We've gotten the ever-helpful "let's do this scene over again, until it stops sucking" advice often, as well.
Funniest note given by our choreographer for "The Music Man" regarding the children playing their instruments while marching behind each other in a circle.
"Boys! Remember to hold your instruments straight out from you bodies but try to avoid bumping the girls in front of you with them!"
Broadway Star Joined: 12/19/04
"You have far too much enthusiasm!"
Umm, since when is enthusiasm a bad thing?
Oh, it's possible, we had an over-enthusiastic Nibbles when I did WSS, I was afraid for Anita's life...
Videos