Who should make the coffee?

[Craig]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 2:23pm

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long
to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here, and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament

and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 2:29pm

That was an excerpt from Pearl Buck's "The Good Earth," wasn't it.

[pab]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 2:47pm

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and
nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult,
four hour surgical procedure.

A young, student nurse appears to give him
a partial sponge bath."Nurse", he mumbles,
from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't
know, Sir I'm only here to wash your upper body
and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse,
are my testicles black?" Concerned that he
may elevate his vitals from worry about his
testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and sheepishly pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his penis in one
hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and
moving them around. Then, she takes a close
look and says, "There's nothing wrong with
them, Sir!!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at
her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much.
That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......












"A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?"

Updated On: 2/4/06 at 02:47 PM

[Elphaba]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 3:13pm

hehehe pab.......I have still not stopped laughing, and very good too, Craig

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 3:15pm

A nerdy type guy is having troubles meeting girls. He asks his friend, a popular lifeguard, for any advice he might have. Yes, buy a Speedo bathing suit, and stuff a potato in it. You'll surely meet girls that way , the lifeguard tells him. So the nerd goes out buys a speedo, stuffs in a potato, and hangs out on the beach. Not one girl is interested. He goes over to his lifeguard friend. hey, I got the speedo and the potato, but girls are running the other way!







You're supposed to put the potato in the FRONT, says the lifeguard.

[xM3L24x]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 3:16pm

hahaha, those are both very funny

[Elphaba]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 3:16pm

oh my, excellent Jane......(I remember when I could wear a speedo!)

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 3:19pm

thanks elphaba-and you know a fatty like me never wore a two piece!

[Elphaba]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 3:26pm

When I moved to California from Michigan in 1995, my waist was a svelte 31".........now, forget it!

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 3:30pm

Me too-but listen to this. I was in a store once, and a guy (named Mary) walked in wearing a jumpsuit (it was back then). Around his waist, instead of a belt, he had a bright yellow tape measure, and he had it paper-clipped to his waist size, around 29 I think.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 3:31pm

lolol, oh I could not have let that get by without a comment......

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/4/06 at 3:33pm

eyes were rolling until he left the store and then all hell broke loose-you would have loved it!