Why Gay Marriage is Wrong.

[JamieMcG]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 11:09am

My friend TJ's list of the top 12 reasons Gay Marriage is wrong

Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.

Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.

Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.

Updated On: 7/21/04 at 11:09 AM

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 11:12am

I'm gay, and agree with most of this, but disagree with using the Spears' instance. Why? Because it's an anomaly and people (hetero ones) won't take it seriously as an example. There are much better examples out there to use - like the divorce rate.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 11:14am

my god man, this tj is a freakin' prophet! he needs his own network show because here finally in one succinct document are the answers that we on the right have been trying to articulate for almost a year now. i mean anyone who can read this and still argue that there is a place for gay marriage in america obviously has more than one screw loose. thank you, you jamie for sharing this and thank tj from both me and the gop. galdurn, i have to copy and paste this into an email to ed gillespie and ken mehlman!

whooeeee, powerful stuff!

Updated On: 7/21/04 at 11:14 AM

[JamieMcG]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 11:22am

See, I think the Spears instance is a wonderful example to use, if only because the right wing is constantly arguing for the "sanctity of marriage." And I don't think this is an anomaly, I think this happens rather often in Las Vegas. I think we just happened to hear a lot more about this instance since it was a very public figure that it happened to. I had an argument with my own father (who has been married and divorced three times), and he still feels that he should have a right to get married and I should not.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 11:25am

People scoff at the Britney story and don't think it applies to marriage in general though. I think the whole point of this list is to make them relate to us in order to gain understanding. Using a pop star's 55 hour marriage is not going to do that.

Updated On: 7/21/04 at 11:25 AM

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 11:59am

No, the point is that heterosexuals can go get married in a fast food style wedding and then annul or divorce after the weekend if they feel like they made a mistake or if it was "just for fun", but a gay or lesbian couple who has been together for 10, 20, 30 years can not get married. The point is that is marriage is soooo sacred, then why are these kinds of weddings legal?

Jamie: Your father's pov SUCKS! :)

[BroadwayMonkey]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 1:30pm

I don't see what's wrong with gay marriage. Seems pretty normal to me.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 1:36pm

now just a cotton pickin' minute there, jrb. i will not have you demeaning the glorious sacredity of the combination drive thru wedding chapel, liquor store and shotgun outlet, dammit! first it's the weddings and then they'll be by god applying for hunting licenses and color coordinating the damn camos. where does it end i ask you? where???

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 1:38pm

It will end when we have YOU!

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 1:41pm

now see, that there's why so many of us decry the hidden agenda! now i gotta start wearin' mah britches with the iron seat again! haven't had those doggone things on since i had to take notes at a reading of a lanford wilson play!

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 1:49pm

you might cover your mouth, too. There's a duel purpose in that.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 1:55pm

why hell, i never take off my hannibal lektor (piss off, i prefer the manhunter spelling because i'm a contrarian) mask so that's no problem. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 1:59pm

I'm thinking a gag would be better.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 2:00pm

i thought that was your gig.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 2:04pm

I'm sure you are a quick learner with the whole gag gig.

ANYWAY, back to topic! lol

[Zola Q. LaPlaya]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 2:33pm

Glad to see the bondage talk is still alive and well.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 2:35pm

well, jrb figured if anything would smoke you out, zola, it was a good gag.

[Zola Q. LaPlaya]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 3:22pm

Not really my scene (anymore) but I'm always a little leather-curious....

[DAME]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 3:24pm

ZOLA IS BACK! Al lis well in the world.

[BWayBoy88]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 3:59pm

Those are some great points. I would love to hear Bush try and defend himself against that.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 4:43pm

what's there to defend against? that there, tj, is just speakin' the truth, man.

[shesings]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 6:33pm

if anyone has a chance chek out the ali g show on hbo this week. it was so great. .they spoke with a southern minister who reforms the homosexuals and he was talking about what is allowed in life. will and grace. ungodly. he actually said people can't watch will and grace. it was sooo funny!

[Plum]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 6:44pm

Oh, man, that show is hilarious. And yes, Will and Grace is nicht-nicht, according to that reformer of homosexuals. But it wasn't all South-bashing- the two guys in the wine tasting were so relentlessly polite to Borat I was simply amazed.

[shesings]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 6:46pm

#1 - according to that minister you can only eat though if everyone else is christian ... i guess that makes eating out difficult, i mean what would happen if a non christian prepared your food?!? you'd probably die - its a nish nish (sp?)

#2 - i loved those old wine guys .. the comment about the slave! slavery being abolished being good for them, but bad for us - i just about died!

[Plum]

Posted: 7/21/04 at 6:48pm

Hon, you should see the trouble Orthodox Jews go through to make sure their food is kosher. Religion is a crazy thing sometimes.