Broadway Legend Joined: 5/10/05
Why does everyone feel the need to videotape sex anymore? Is this standard practice?
ETA: Whoops! Mister Matt beat me to it, but said it waaaaay funnier.
Except Fed-Ex.
I'm not a hater...I'm a motivator.
And if I film you havin' sex, I'll smack you with it later!
*spits and hyperventilates various rap rhythms*
MM, I hope you're wearing a baseball cap sideways and a ton of gold jewelry around your neck while doing this!

Becca: Have you heard about this videotape?
Kate: The one where they do it on the boat and then in the car and then in the bathtub? And he's like, "Hey, baby, I love you? and she's like "Where are we?" And did you see the size...?
Becca: No. Not that tape. The one with all the scary images, and after you watch the tape, the phone rings and this really scary voice comes on and says you're gonna die in like...
Dottie - How did you know? You forgot to mention that my jeans are hanging halfway down my ass, which I keep in place by grabbing my crotch like a 4 year-old who needs to go potty. I look really dope.
MM, that goes without saying. Perfect!
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
"THE BRITNEY SPEARS and KEVIN FEDERLINE divorce has turned nasty after it was revealed he is touting a Paris Hilton-style video of the couple romping.
According to our sister paper The News Of The World, dumped husband K-Fed has already been offered £26million for the FOUR hour tape, shot in the early stages of the couple's relationship.
A friend of K-Fed's told the paper: "At the time (the video was made) the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn't keep their hands off each other.
"They did nothing all day but have sex - and play the odd game of chess. They were insatiable!"
This has to be a lie! Brittany playing CHESS? PUH-LEASE!
He was misquoted.
He actually said they would do nothing all day but have sex and eat Pepperidge Farm Chessmen cookies.
I mean, do we really think that either of them can actually play chess?
Rath, I don't know if that's true or not, but hysterical just the same!!
i think the actual quote said "k-fed was playing with britney's chest." not that they were playing chess.
You can say a lot of things about Britney, but even at her trashiest she was never ever what anyone could consider "fat"
Did anyone see Amy Poehler doing Britney this weekend?
"He gave me panty crickets, y'all! And I was like, 'KEVIN!'"
Hopefully it will be released and her career will be over once and for all.
BTW, did anyone actually SEE the Colin Farrell sex tape????
Fat is easier to type that chunky.
Sounds like either way, this scum is going to end up with a nice bank account (which he'd probably squander in no time anyway).
It says ODD game of Chess. What do we think they did with the pieces?
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/10/05
FOUR HOURS?!?
Sounds like he knew what he was doing all along (meaning the tape that is).
borstal, see the tape? see the tape! hell, i have it memorized and committed to memory. on really bad days, i just go to my "happy place" and rerun the 23 minute tape over and over in my head.
Broadway Legend Joined: 2/20/04
I saw a clip of the Colin Farrell tape - the odd thing is that he seems to lose his Irish accent when having sex. He keeps saying things like "You're so f---ing beatufiul", and it sounds like he's using his New York accent from "Phone Booth".
he was in character. he was filming "daredevil" at the time. he's very method.
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
Brittany & Kevin eating Pepperidge Farm Cookies? NOT!
I can see MAYBE Nutter-Butters now that they are millionaires, but mostly I see Dollar Store House Brand Oreo-knockoffs.
Who's Brittany?
Morgan Brittany.
and Joe...I say Hydrox.
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