dear tech support (joke)

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 1/20/06 at 10:13pm

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the
Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby
4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply
crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

------------------

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download
Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If
that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0
to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring
Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not
a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might
consider buying additional software to improve memory and
performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

-------------------

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2,
which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are
apparently conflicts between these two products and the only
solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned
off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several
other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and
Playb*y 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and
left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely
for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and
Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these
two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my
hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this
product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While
Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come
bundled with FreeS3xPlus and Cleanhouse2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be
very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were
automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.
They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter,
and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These
latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what
the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly,
requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle
Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when
Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it
often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw,
which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could
be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if
Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money
before uninstalling itself.

Signed,

Desperate

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 1/20/06 at 10:14pm

Abba, this was Boobs Friday Morning Chuckle today. I loved it.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 1/20/06 at 10:17pm

Abba I love you, but stop stealing my material !!!!

[Broadway_Baby]

Posted: 1/20/06 at 10:17pm

Boobsy's was "upgrading" from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 .

Same idea though.

Hilarious!

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 1/20/06 at 10:17pm

damn! i just saw it on another message board i go to lol