#1
Posted: 10/8/04 at 9:54pm
I just got an email from George W. Bush (senders name) dated Dec 31, 1969. Usually these are junk mail things trying to sell me Viagra or something - but this was actuallyy amusing. Check it out.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004
EXPERIENCE AND EDUCATION
Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under
the influence of alcohol. I pleaded guilty, paid a fine, and had
my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving
record has been "lost" and is not available.
Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused
to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid
combat duty in Vietnam.
College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was
a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas.
The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal
that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry
(including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my
tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden
city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of
billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in
American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my
father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President
after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with
a criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of
*over one billion dollars per week*.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S.
Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S.
history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in
any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month
period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history
of the U.S. stock market.
In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their
jobs and that trend continues every month.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire,"
Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S.
President.
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving
the most corporate campaign donations.
One of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest
corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys
to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my
election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent
investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and
refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry
was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be
awarded government contracts.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than
any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest
bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in
U.S. history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United
Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war"
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva
Convention.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations
election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any
President since the advent of television.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided
over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade
Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most
hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in
world history.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people),
shattering the record for protests against any person in the
history of mankind.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign
nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the
majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut
health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
security.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster,"
a WMD.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden
to justice.
During the Iraq War and Occupation thousands of American troops
were injured and killed. I did not have the time to attend any of
the funerals for our fallen soldiers but I did have the time to
attend more than 43 fundraising events of the Republican party.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my
father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and
my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public review.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004
EXPERIENCE AND EDUCATION
Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under
the influence of alcohol. I pleaded guilty, paid a fine, and had
my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving
record has been "lost" and is not available.
Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused
to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid
combat duty in Vietnam.
College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was
a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas.
The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal
that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry
(including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my
tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden
city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of
billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in
American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my
father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President
after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with
a criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of
*over one billion dollars per week*.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S.
Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S.
history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in
any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month
period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history
of the U.S. stock market.
In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their
jobs and that trend continues every month.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire,"
Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S.
President.
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving
the most corporate campaign donations.
One of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest
corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys
to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my
election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent
investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and
refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry
was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be
awarded government contracts.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than
any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest
bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in
U.S. history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United
Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war"
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva
Convention.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations
election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any
President since the advent of television.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided
over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade
Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most
hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in
world history.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people),
shattering the record for protests against any person in the
history of mankind.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign
nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the
majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut
health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
security.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster,"
a WMD.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden
to justice.
During the Iraq War and Occupation thousands of American troops
were injured and killed. I did not have the time to attend any of
the funerals for our fallen soldiers but I did have the time to
attend more than 43 fundraising events of the Republican party.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my
father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and
my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public review.
didnt mean to offend... i actually love the first lady but that husband has got to go
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