#1
Posted: 2/24/05 at 5:44pm
my hem'roids are PULSATING & itchy. what do I do?
Updated On: 2/24/05 at 05:44 PM
owwwie! I've got a boo boo...down there!!!
#2
Posted: 2/24/05 at 5:45pm
Tell Boobs to be gentle, it's your first time.
#3
Posted: 2/24/05 at 5:52pm
well the first thing you need to do, bongo, is get as large a hand held mirror as you can and set it on the ground. if you can't find a hand held mirror, take one off the wall and put it on the ground, but make sure it's small enough the you can straddle it.
next, you'll need as powerful a handheld light that you can find. one of the 5 d-cell mag-lites will work. if you don't have one of those, a bare lamp will work as long as it's 200w or more.
once you have those things, i need to you take off your pants, stradddle the mirror and squat down so that everything is open and you can feel the breeze.
are ya there? good. now i want you to maneuver the light so that it's illuminating the area in question. once you can see things with absolute crystal clarity, i want you to describe in as much detail as possible exactly what you see.
next, you'll need as powerful a handheld light that you can find. one of the 5 d-cell mag-lites will work. if you don't have one of those, a bare lamp will work as long as it's 200w or more.
once you have those things, i need to you take off your pants, stradddle the mirror and squat down so that everything is open and you can feel the breeze.
are ya there? good. now i want you to maneuver the light so that it's illuminating the area in question. once you can see things with absolute crystal clarity, i want you to describe in as much detail as possible exactly what you see.
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
#5
Posted: 2/24/05 at 5:56pm
PAPA you are terrible!!
"All work and no smut makes Cammy lose her edge." ~DG
"Someday I'm going to have a baby and I'm gonna name her L'il Mimi Marquez and I and will sing to her every day and when she's a toddler I will say "L'il Mimi Marquez, clad only in a bubble diaper, will perform her famous play pen handcuff dance to the sounds of breast milk being pumped!" ~Kringas
"Someday I'm going to have a baby and I'm gonna name her L'il Mimi Marquez and I and will sing to her every day and when she's a toddler I will say "L'il Mimi Marquez, clad only in a bubble diaper, will perform her famous play pen handcuff dance to the sounds of breast milk being pumped!" ~Kringas
#6
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:01pm
okay..my flashlight is in position...the breeze is wonderful! everything is all SWOLE!
#7
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:01pm
is it purple-ish red or just a just a dark pink, bongo?
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
#9
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:08pm
bongo!
bongo!
for god's sake, man! don't look directly into the eye!
bongo!
for god's sake, man! don't look directly into the eye!
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
#10
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:11pm
...a REEFER MADNESS fan thinks hemmorrhoids are gross?
#12
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:13pm
TMI
"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.
#13
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:15pm
WHAT'S HAPPENING???? oh...& mr hoffa...would you please scratch that bulbous thing right there? ahhh..thx
#15
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:24pm
Let us deal with this delicate subject in a tasteful manner if you please
Carry on
Carry on
Poster Emeritus
#16
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:30pm
bongo, does it look like it's breathing? what i mean is it pulsing larger and smaller sort of in time with the beat of your heart? now try to be relaxed when you study this part, ok? well as relaxed as you can be when you're bent over straddling a mirror and shining a flashlight at your brown eye. remember to breathe and take breaks to stand up and let the blood come down from your head.
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
#17
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:48pm
i'm hypnotized, mesmorized...& OMIGOD, PAPA! did you see that movie "O" (the ring)? I see that freaky chick climbing out of the well to do press for the sequel!!
Updated On: 2/24/05 at 06:48 PM
#18
Posted: 2/24/05 at 7:10pm
sh*t, this is worse than i thought. dammit, bongo, i've got to leave the office so i'll be incommunicado for a while. boobs has my numbers i think. what i want you to do is pour yourself a tall glass of tequila, triple sec, lime and ice lay down on your tummy on the couch and sip that through a straw. you're at a dangerous time and one false move could trigger an eruption, so tread lightly and if you feel any rumbling, don't take any chances, wrap a towel around your waist and crab walk to the can and dial 911. i'll be back as soon as i can. be strong, bongo. don't let the bastard win.
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
#22
Posted: 2/24/05 at 7:50pm
Can we discuss my yeast infection now?
Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson
#23
Posted: 2/24/05 at 7:52pm
Rath,I was just about to post that!! GMTA
"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.
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