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owwwie! I've got a boo boo...down there!!!

owwwie! I've got a boo boo...down there!!!

bongoboy Profile Photo
bongoboy
#0owwwie! I've got a boo boo...down there!!!
Posted: 2/24/05 at 5:44pm

my hem'roids are PULSATING & itchy. what do I do? Updated On: 2/24/05 at 05:44 PM

#1re: owwwie! I've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 5:45pm

Tell Boobs to be gentle, it's your first time.

papalovesmambo Profile Photo
papalovesmambo
#2re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 5:52pm

well the first thing you need to do, bongo, is get as large a hand held mirror as you can and set it on the ground. if you can't find a hand held mirror, take one off the wall and put it on the ground, but make sure it's small enough the you can straddle it.

next, you'll need as powerful a handheld light that you can find. one of the 5 d-cell mag-lites will work. if you don't have one of those, a bare lamp will work as long as it's 200w or more.

once you have those things, i need to you take off your pants, stradddle the mirror and squat down so that everything is open and you can feel the breeze.

are ya there? good. now i want you to maneuver the light so that it's illuminating the area in question. once you can see things with absolute crystal clarity, i want you to describe in as much detail as possible exactly what you see.


r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective

joeyjoe Profile Photo
joeyjoe
#3re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 5:55pm

okaygross

camerangel Profile Photo
camerangel
#4re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 5:56pm

PAPA you are terrible!!


"All work and no smut makes Cammy lose her edge." ~DG

"Someday I'm going to have a baby and I'm gonna name her L'il Mimi Marquez and I and will sing to her every day and when she's a toddler I will say "L'il Mimi Marquez, clad only in a bubble diaper, will perform her famous play pen handcuff dance to the sounds of breast milk being pumped!" ~Kringas

bongoboy Profile Photo
bongoboy
#5re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:01pm

okay..my flashlight is in position...the breeze is wonderful! everything is all SWOLE!

papalovesmambo Profile Photo
papalovesmambo
#6re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:01pm

is it purple-ish red or just a just a dark pink, bongo?


r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective

CATSNYrevival Profile Photo
CATSNYrevival
#7re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:05pm

yuck.

papalovesmambo Profile Photo
papalovesmambo
#8re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:08pm

bongo!

bongo!

for god's sake, man! don't look directly into the eye!


r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective

MisterRussell Profile Photo
MisterRussell
#9re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:11pm

...a REEFER MADNESS fan thinks hemmorrhoids are gross?

#10re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:12pm

"Nurse, bring that Endust!"

The Grovers Corners Yenta
#11re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:13pm

TMI


"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.

bongoboy Profile Photo
bongoboy
#12re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:15pm

WHAT'S HAPPENING???? oh...& mr hoffa...would you please scratch that bulbous thing right there? ahhh..thx

CATSNYrevival Profile Photo
CATSNYrevival
#13re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:16pm

wow.

Mr Roxy Profile Photo
Mr Roxy
#14re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:24pm

Let us deal with this delicate subject in a tasteful manner if you please

Carry on


Poster Emeritus

papalovesmambo Profile Photo
papalovesmambo
#15re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:30pm

bongo, does it look like it's breathing? what i mean is it pulsing larger and smaller sort of in time with the beat of your heart? now try to be relaxed when you study this part, ok? well as relaxed as you can be when you're bent over straddling a mirror and shining a flashlight at your brown eye. remember to breathe and take breaks to stand up and let the blood come down from your head.


r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective

bongoboy Profile Photo
bongoboy
#16re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 6:48pm

i'm hypnotized, mesmorized...& OMIGOD, PAPA! did you see that movie "O" (the ring)? I see that freaky chick climbing out of the well to do press for the sequel!! Updated On: 2/24/05 at 06:48 PM

papalovesmambo Profile Photo
papalovesmambo
#17re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 7:10pm

sh*t, this is worse than i thought. dammit, bongo, i've got to leave the office so i'll be incommunicado for a while. boobs has my numbers i think. what i want you to do is pour yourself a tall glass of tequila, triple sec, lime and ice lay down on your tummy on the couch and sip that through a straw. you're at a dangerous time and one false move could trigger an eruption, so tread lightly and if you feel any rumbling, don't take any chances, wrap a towel around your waist and crab walk to the can and dial 911. i'll be back as soon as i can. be strong, bongo. don't let the bastard win.


r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective

cvapb Profile Photo
cvapb
#18re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 7:42pm

is this a joke

Liam Profile Photo
Liam
#19re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 7:44pm

god,i hope so

CATSNYrevival Profile Photo
CATSNYrevival
#20re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 7:48pm

but it's funnier if it's real...

Rathnait62 Profile Photo
Rathnait62
#21re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 7:50pm

Can we discuss my yeast infection now?


Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

The Grovers Corners Yenta
#22re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 7:52pm

Rath,I was just about to post that!! GMTA


"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.

#23re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 7:53pm

My, my, my.

CATSNYrevival Profile Photo
CATSNYrevival
#24re: owwwie! i've got a boo boo
Posted: 2/24/05 at 7:55pm

how does yeast get infected?


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