CJR - with all due respect, you make men sound like a commodity that is 'out of stock' of the particular size and shape you're looking for. I know quite a few men that are wonderful, happy, productive, centered and balanced human beings - I guess I would ask where and how you're 'looking' for these men? Which might be the problem in and of itself - this isn't really something you can 'look for' - it happens when it is meant to, because you are ready for it. DG -- it wasn't meant to sound that way... but unfortunately since this is the internet, it comes across a different way than what is my intention.
And it's not so much "looking" for a man... I suppose I should explain.
I've learned (through a friend of mine) that it's good to have a list (or two). One list of things you absolutely cannot live with in another person (ie: smoker, heavy drinker) and personality traits you can't tolorate, and another list of things that turn you on and personality traits you admire, enjoy, get along/mesh with.
As a result, I can tell within a 10 minute conversation if I'm compatible with a certain man.
Physically: I have very little requirements. No long hair -- it skeeves me out. Muscles are a big turn on, but not a must-have; Although I *do* like a ripped man, I have dated skinny men too. I'm also a sucker for dimples, but much like the muscles, the are not a must-have -- more like a plus. The only *true* physical requirement I have is height. He needs to be at least 6ft. I'm short (5'4") and tend to wear very high heels often.. When I put on my tallest heels (5") the guy I'm with still needs to be taller than I am.
Personality: Well, like I said, I can't have a man who's vain. A guy who's incredibly good looking and knows it, and who takes longer to get ready in the morning than I do because he's SO particular about his appearance. I obviously don't want to be dating a slob, but there comes a time to draw the line. People like that in general annoy the crap out of me, so why would I put myself into the position of being in a relationship with someone like that. No men in love with their cars either. I adore cars, and I can talk about cars... hell, I can help reconstruct a car -- but I don't want to hear about your car and how hot it is every single time I talk to you, for 99% of the time we're talking. It's overkill and it makes me think your car is more important to you than I am, and if that's the case, you've GOT to go. I'm not going to compete with a piece of metal for affection and attention.
Nor will I compete with another woman for a man's affection. If we're dating, that's it. Looking is one thing -- we're dating not dead. But when a man I'm seeing sits right in front of me and blatantly hits on another woman, I have a REAL problem with that.
Call me shallow, but don't think I'm pulling this out of my ass and I'm having dillusions of some prince charming I'm never going to find. I draw this from past relationships and men who, by the time we broke up, I couldn't care less if I ever saw again.
And as for where I'm meeting or "looking" for these men, well I meet men everywhere. Clubs, bars, stores, through friends, events in the city, parties, at shows... It's a very broad spectrum of men I meet, from different areas. So I'm not concentrating on one section of where I'm from.
I'm well aware that when love will just 'happen.' For me it did... but it's a very long, involved and boring story as to why I am still currently single... and I think he might kill me if I posted it here anyway.
*stepping off my soapbox*
"You're every gay man's wet dream!" ~ MA
If in Heaven you don't excel, you can always party down in hell...
Updated On: 7/28/04 at 07:26 PM
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