unimportant ramblings of a big honkin' gay man

[Zola Q. LaPlaya]

Posted: 8/6/04 at 11:11pm

I just watched a ballgame on television. Baseball. Baltimore Orioles. Great pitching. It was a game played at Camden Yards.

Now, it was a real treat for little ol me. Ive never seen any of these hunky ballpayers field and pitch and catch before.

And let me tell you, if i didn't love sports for the competition, id love it for the men. There are some total babes on that field.

Pitchers - I only know them from how they stand on their mounds, but heavens, they can really heave a slider into the strike zone on top of being total babes

Shortstops - aaaaah, i needed a stick to chew on for them ...

Catchers - Cute as a button

First baseman - killer in their uniforms

Second baseman - Up there in years, but still has it

Right fielder - Was wiping up drool after that big catch, lemme tell you


Anyway. I love baseball. And men.

Updated On: 8/7/04 at 11:11 PM

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 8/6/04 at 11:19pm

Someone, quick open the windows and give Zola fresh air before it's too late!

[magruder]

Posted: 8/6/04 at 11:21pm

Though no longer on the Orioles (he's now with the Padres), you just have to admire Brady Anderson...

[magruder]

Posted: 8/6/04 at 11:24pm

Just one more...

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 8/6/04 at 11:24pm

Actually, I'm really looking forward to my brother someday getting into the pros. Not only is he an excellent pitcher, but perhaps I'd be able to sneak into the locker room after the game.... In fact he's in Florida right now for a tournament.

That guy is on the Padres??? No wonder all those people were camping out at Petco Park... I should go down myself... Updated On: 8/6/04 at 11:24 PM

[Musetta1957]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 12:11am

Please, people, it's all about Noah Lowry.
Google Image search for "Noah Lowry"

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 1:54am

As a gay man, I just want to say how much I enjoy the manly shows on Home and Garden Television. Not the stereotypical faggy shows where some queen runs in and puts a doily on the arm of a couch and surprises the homeowners. But the ones with contractors. I mean, I'm gay, but a lot of time people assume the only people who watch the building shows must be straight and frankly, I don't understand why that is. In fact, as a gay man, now that I think about it, it's kind of REVERSE discrimination with a half-gainer and a twist. And it's not right. When my gay friends start talking about Kyan this, or Trading that, I don't really feel part of the group. When my straight friends down at the Irish pub talk about how they knew a guy who worked on an episode of This Old House I feel I can't say how much I would like to give French lessons to one of the contractors on that show. You see, I don't really fit in in either world. And it's very hard for me. Me personally. Gay FindingNamo. Did I mention I am gay? I'm gay.

Updated On: 8/7/04 at 01:54 AM

[M J R]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:08am

Oh my Christ. How much more of this is going to go on? I mean, I know people come out and at their own pace and when they are ready to face these things at the time in their life when they can accept themselves for who and what they are.

But as God is my witness I will bet dollars to Krispy Kremes that fewer than 10% of you males who go on on these boards about how GAY you are will remain that way for the rest of your lives.

Mark my words.

Updated On: 8/7/04 at 02:08 AM

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:11am

I think that after this thread, we might all need a stick to chew on...
Those shortstops, you know.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:11am

How come all the time a person who says all the time he is gay a str8 has to challenge the person that the person is probably not because the str8 says so that he is not? Who is to better know than the gay that he is gay? The str8s they are all the time telling the gays that they know best and it just is possible that a gay he likes the shows involving the television and tractors and building a deck. Why is that for the str8s so hard to believe about the gay?

[M J R]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:16am

You know what, breeder - go watch a tractor-pull. I'm taking your card back.

F***ing HETERO!

[Sumofallthings]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:16am

The above photos should answer the question of how the show Damn Yankees has remained popular.

[etoile]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:18am

Oh please, Namo, I hope you eventually do find yourself. Remember you're talking of Irish Pubs and This Old House on the *Off-Topic* theater board. How straight is that?

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:20am

No, wait, I'm gay, right? See, what I am saying is, just because I love those things I am assumed to be straight. Which is really hard for me to be thought of as part of the dominant, entitled group.

Or are you saying Irish pubs and this old house are secretly gay like Boborunstheshow and spiderj?

[M J R]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:27am

You know Namo, I support your choice to "live the straight lifestyle", but you don't have to throw it in our faces - make me wanna puke.....

[etoile]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:34am

No I'm not saying Irish pubs and This Old House are secretly gay like boboruinstheshow and spiderj. But what I am saying is that one night with Nina will cure you of any of these gay fantasies you've been imagining, young man. Wake up and face the Eminem music.

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:35am

Well, I admit my willingness to make out with Jake Gyllenhall...what does that mean? Does that make me straight?

Updated On: 8/7/04 at 02:35 AM

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:48am

I've thought about it, and I think I'm still a lesbian, just like everyone else at my all-girl Catholic school.
I mean, why do you think all-girl schools exist?

[Zola Q. LaPlaya]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 9:19am

Namo, I hear ya, man. It sucks, dude. Bud, I'm gay too and I get tired of having to "prove" it all the time around my friends at the ballpark. That's why I started this thread in the first place, dude. (** pauses imperceptively to stratch scrotum **) Just because I know the stats of all the major league players doesn't mean I don't really love to get naked in bed with other dudes and really go at it. I mean, look chief, I really really love to have hot sweaty tribal sex with other men. But even some of them think I'm straight because I like to watch sports while we're doing it.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 9:42am

i am so sick of you pseudo gay men giving us str8s a bad name with you co-opting our stuff and prissifiying it. i mean, dudes, make decision here. either ya wanna swing the bat or ride it. and zola, how dare you sink so low as to demean the dignity of watching sports during sex by soiling it with your unholy homo-erotic gymnastics? i demand that you douse yourself in holy water while chanting the time honored chant from the catholic church that has separated the men from the girly men, "let jesus f*ck you." now, if you've got pictures of a little green faced girl with a cross, there's trouble in paradise. conversely, if you're thinking how convenient thos robes must have been, well, you're right on track. myself, i'm off to church and confession to pray that i'm forgiven for that horribly blasphemous screed.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 9:54am

Baseball bores me. I prefer to watch college football.

[zoran912]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 10:14am

I don't watch sports. I simply cannot. If I want sexy men, I go to the theatre.

[Zola Q. LaPlaya]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 10:14am

Hey speaking of gymnastics, the Olympic games are about to begin and all those hot muscle boys will be doing their thing. And the swimming! And the diving (albeit without Miss Louganis).

I mean, if I didn't love the raw masculine competitive nature of these sports, I would be into them just for guys. I'm gay. I'm waaaaaaaay gay. Please just accept that.

Updated On: 8/7/04 at 10:14 AM

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:06pm

Zola--I think you need to prove it to me...

There was actually a moment in college when people thought I was faking being gay--that I was just jumping on the "cause" like it was animal rights or something. That, and I got to fool around with girls because of it. LOL

I am amazed more gay dudes don't watch sports--gay guys can be incredibly competitive and athletes are HOT!

[Zola Q. LaPlaya]

Posted: 8/7/04 at 2:21pm

Huh? I thought it was animal rights....