what you need to believe to be a republican
what you need to believe to be a republican
#0what you need to believe to be a republican
Posted: 3/20/06 at 4:13pm
What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican:
>
>Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and
>Hillary Clinton.
>
>Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when
>Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with
him,
>and a bad guy when Bush needed a â?owe can't find Bin Ladenâ?
diversion.
>
>Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but
>trade with China and Vietnam is vital to the spirit of international
>harmony.
>
>The United States should get out of the United Nations, and Our
>highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.
>
>A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
>multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
>without
>regulation.
>
>The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops
>in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
>
>If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
>
>A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time
>allies, then demand their cooperation and money
>
>Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but
>providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and
insurance
>companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
>
>Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
>creationism should be taught in schools.
>
>A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable
>offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which
>thousands die is solid defense policy.
>
>Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
>Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
>Internet.
>
>The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
>George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
>
>Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're
>a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our
prayers
>for
>your recovery.
>
>What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest,
>but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
>
>Remember, Republicans will always be the first and fattest hog at
>the government trough.
>
"I'm an American, Damnit!!! And if it's three things I don't believe in, it's quitting and math."
#2re: what you need to believe to be a republican
Posted: 3/20/06 at 7:53pmLol.
♥♥♥
#3re: what you need to believe to be a republican
Posted: 3/20/06 at 8:16pmJust 2.75 years...just 2.75 years...
Hi, Shirley Temple Pudding.
#4re: what you need to believe to be a republican
Posted: 3/21/06 at 1:11am
Amen.
2.75 years.... but that's so...so... BIG. 
whisper: *impeachment* I swear I'd give my right hand for that.
"Electricity sparks inside of me... and I'm free, I'm free."
pndmnd
Broadway Star Joined: 4/3/04
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