#1
Posted: 7/25/06 at 9:36pm
These are lyrics I wrote to the song, I Want More, from the musical, Lestat. If you know the tune, you'll know how these lyrics go. This is kind of like the Forbidden Broadway parodies except the title doesn't rhyme with the original title of the song. The lyrics are somewhat censored:
CLAUDIA
What are you, high on cocaine
Writing a born loser.
You torture us with vampires
We’re not all ignorant boozers
After Dracula and that other show, did you think you had something new
I’ve got news for you, Elton John. Lestat blows too
It’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-ud
Look at you, you won Best Score
Writing for Aida
Now you praise this crappy show
Like it’s the next Evita
Frank Wildhorn couldn’t pull it off.
Did you think you’d succeed?
The guys who actually like this show
Are clearly smoking weed
It’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-ud
No more shows where all the actors
Have to put on fake sharp teeth
You must realize the living dead
Never do sell seats
If at some point, the leading man has to suck some blood,
That should be your first clue that it’s a dud
The book is crap, the music sucks,
And Carolee Carmello
Is only in the first act
You’re one crazy fellow
Hugh Panaro
As Lestat, I’m sorry to say, bites
If I want to hear him,
I’ll listen to my bootleg of Music of the Night
The show’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-ud
Face it, bub, you’re up against
A show with the Four Seasons
And The Drowsy Chaperone
That’s a damn good reason
To close before you lose it all
And I don’t mean the dough
You’ll lose all of your fans
If you don’t close this frickin’ show
It’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-ud
I’d sooner go to In My Life
Then sit through this piece of doodoo
Or sign up for an extra shift,
At my part time job at Fubu
‘Cause recently I got a call
And when I answered it
My girlfriend said “I’ve got tickets to Lestat”
'Oh S**t'
A du-u-u-u-u-u-ud
It’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-u-u-ud
No more shows where all the actors
Have to put on fake sharp teeth
You must realize the living dead
Never do sell seats
If, at some point, the leading man has to suck some blood.
That should be your first clue
That it’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-u-u-u-ud
It’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-u-u-u-ud
It’s a dud
No, my girlfriend didn't get tickets to Lestat because I don't live in New York or have a girlfriend. And I don't work at Fubu either. I don't work at all. And I'm sad.
CLAUDIA
What are you, high on cocaine
Writing a born loser.
You torture us with vampires
We’re not all ignorant boozers
After Dracula and that other show, did you think you had something new
I’ve got news for you, Elton John. Lestat blows too
It’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-ud
Look at you, you won Best Score
Writing for Aida
Now you praise this crappy show
Like it’s the next Evita
Frank Wildhorn couldn’t pull it off.
Did you think you’d succeed?
The guys who actually like this show
Are clearly smoking weed
It’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-ud
No more shows where all the actors
Have to put on fake sharp teeth
You must realize the living dead
Never do sell seats
If at some point, the leading man has to suck some blood,
That should be your first clue that it’s a dud
The book is crap, the music sucks,
And Carolee Carmello
Is only in the first act
You’re one crazy fellow
Hugh Panaro
As Lestat, I’m sorry to say, bites
If I want to hear him,
I’ll listen to my bootleg of Music of the Night
The show’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-ud
Face it, bub, you’re up against
A show with the Four Seasons
And The Drowsy Chaperone
That’s a damn good reason
To close before you lose it all
And I don’t mean the dough
You’ll lose all of your fans
If you don’t close this frickin’ show
It’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-ud
I’d sooner go to In My Life
Then sit through this piece of doodoo
Or sign up for an extra shift,
At my part time job at Fubu
‘Cause recently I got a call
And when I answered it
My girlfriend said “I’ve got tickets to Lestat”
'Oh S**t'
A du-u-u-u-u-u-ud
It’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-u-u-ud
No more shows where all the actors
Have to put on fake sharp teeth
You must realize the living dead
Never do sell seats
If, at some point, the leading man has to suck some blood.
That should be your first clue
That it’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-u-u-u-ud
It’s a dud
It’s a du-u-u-u-u-u-ud
It’s a dud
No, my girlfriend didn't get tickets to Lestat because I don't live in New York or have a girlfriend. And I don't work at Fubu either. I don't work at all. And I'm sad.
Butters, go buy World of Warcraft, install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we all murder you.
--Cartman: South Park
ATTENTION FANS: I will be played by James Barbour in the upcoming musical, "BroadwayWorld: The Musical."
