A Naked Girl on the Appian Way Review — Page 4

Mistress_Spouzic, has Matthew Morrison been prancing around the heather on the hill without you letting us know about it?

I'd love to see him in the opera as well, although I'll admit to selfishly wanting him to take the voice on the road. Maybe I'd get to see him! (Unfortunately, my trips to NYC are generally during the summer. I think The Met ends their season every year before I get there just to spite me.)

Of course, Papageno is a baritone role, and I'm not sure, but I've always thought of Mr. Morrison as a tenor. Perhaps he could be the child of baritone Papageno and soprano Papagena: Papageni. If you mix a baritone and soprano, you usually wind up with tenors, right?

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When did they cut the intermission? I saw it with one.

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iluvtheatertrash, they cut A Naked Girl on the Appian Way's intermission sometime in previews. Lucky for you, you likely saw some material that was later cut.

Nomdeplume, you're positively brilliant! The thought of Our Mr. Morrison as a warlock would explain so much, especially his abilities with metamorphosis. As a wickedwitch myself, I know I have always felt an otherwise inexplicable kinship with the man.

Warlocks definitely fly, and if Matthew Morrison doesn't, I'll lend him my broom. Merlin, at least, was a notorious shape-shifter, so the thought of warlocks with feathers is well within the realm of possibility. No wonder everyone is clamoring to work with him. He probably magics up his own costumes, sets, and lighting. I also wouldn't be surprised if he used some sort of astral projection to superimpose himself upon the roles he's left behind, explaining your experience with Hairspray. Can anyone who's seen The Light in the Piazza since his departure confirm this?

As far as operatic roles for our beloved warlock, the best I've been able to come up with is Prokofiev's The Fiery Angel, although there is a rather sinister coloratura aria about birds in Tales of Hoffman, and I'd love to see an all-bird production of Turandot, in which failed suitors get pushed out of the next and eaten by cats rather than having their heads chopped off.

Of course, the thought of Mr. Morrison as warlock could be potentially dangerous. Is the spell he weaves on his audiences due to his abilities as a performer, or are we literally under his spell? The fact that I am able to ask that question would seem to point to the former option, but perhaps that's part of his sheer, diabolical genius as a warlock.

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I am not certain, Witchie...he may have spent a year or two at Hogwarts, very likely sensational at Quidditch...

Perhaps his next role could be in eagle feathers as a warrior or Indian Chief?

Or, set in ancient Hawaii, he could portray a royal alii in a red and gold feather cape and helmet, dance the war hula to Ku, god of war, with feathered wristlets and anklets...

What other feathered role can be forseen for Mr. Morrison?

Updated On: 11/20/05 at 06:49 PM

Dream on...

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Ach! I desperately need to go to bed, but, oh, well...

I heard that Mr. Morrison definitely agreed to play the part of the turkey in this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, although an unfortunate allergic reaction to a faux feather costume will sadly prevent him from assuming what would seem in all other respects to be a providential role for him. If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times: real feathers are the only possible option in costuming. Anything else is, if you'll pardon the expression, for the birds. (Or perhaps decidedly not for the birds?) Unfortunately, Mr. Macy did not agree with me. Heated words were exchanged.

I believe Mr. Morrison would be equally at home in fangs or feathers, depending on which aspect of his multi-faceted personality he chooses to display. While fangs and fur are perfect outward manifestations of the hidden, inner beast only hinted at in the wildness of his curls, feathers speak to the pure soul that emerges so beautifully in his dulcet vocal tones. Audience reaction would depend entirely on which facet of Mr. Morrison each individual prefers. I would hope that we could each find something to love in him, whether fanged or feathered, but the public is a fickle lot.

Personally, I think he would lend a wonderful suavity and sophistication that has been so lacking in werewolves of late. Gone are the gentleman swashbuckling werewolf and the debonair gambling werewolf. Now, we are treated to such characters as the shy, retiring professor werewolf, who makes such hideous fashion choices as allowing a caterpillar permanent residence on his upper lip. In short: werewolves need you, Matthew!!!

And now I must to bed. Eleven hour drive tomorrow!!! Then a tofurkey feast!!! Yay!!!

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ya'll need something more constructive to do with your time.

"ya'll need something more constructive to do with your time."

This is coming from a girl who runs his website?

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I think his website could use your attention more than I, Mistress.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Morrison!

Updated On: 11/24/05 at 06:33 PM

happy turkey.

This just in from a bartender in Pasedena with big Fozzie Bear ears:

There is a rumor that Mr. Morrison, in motion, will be Gumbified by computer animation to create the image of Gumby in the upcoming "Battle of the Zombie Gumbys." His image will inspire the both one true swashbuckling Gumby and the myriad zombie Gumbys.

Whether to go futuristic with light sabers or sword and dagger as a period piece is as yet undetermined. It is expected, however, to be filmed in New York. This on the VERY VERY hush hush... one of the Lions in front of the NY Public Library has overheard that there are plans for a very big swordfight scene from rowboat to rowboat on the lake in Central Park with zillions of zombie Gumbys...

Updated On: 11/24/05 at 02:49 AM