Hello! It's Simon Cowell!
A man who always has to make a comment, even if it's not funny.
A man who finds talent in The Spice Girls.
A man who has no concept of what true talent is, but more of how stupid America is to buy into all this B.S.
"Do you know what pledge time is, Andrew"? said the PBS Executive.
"Yes", Lloyd Webber replied. "My 50th birthday special must be one program that gets done a lot."
"No", mused the man from PBS heedlessy. "Not so much. Our Stephen Sondheim Carnegie Hall concert. That's a big one."
Spoons, forks and knives seemed suddenly to suspend their motion in horror, all around the table.