Another strike parody for y'all

[WaltSummersPI]

Posted: 11/21/07 at 2:47pm

LOCAL ONE STAGEHAND
(note: quick and sloppy)

James. (no response) Why is it you always get to call the shots, but I'm the one who has to do the marching around in circles? (still no response) James! Hello, James? There is someone holding this sign! (twitches slightly, sighs, mutters to himself)

A crystal of frost
the tip of the nose
It's always this game
Now we've closed the shows.
Wednesday on the line with James
One more Wedn---

The shoulders are numb,
and starting to ache
The eyes are drooping,
Can I get one break?

Who we gonna screw, James?
Who we gonna screw
Producers and who, James?
Producers and who?

JAMES CLAFFEY JR.
Don't budge.

LOCAL ONE STAGEHAND
(still to himself)
Locals are insane. Fast. Rude.
That's you, James, you're insane. Fast. Rude.
I like that in a boss. Fast. Rude.
God, it's loud out here.

Well, there are worse things
than marching with your buddies on a Wednesday
There are worse things
than marching with your buddies
as reporters take a picture
that'll anger all the tourists
on the day before Thanksgiving
on an island filled with buildings on a Wednesday.

My cell phone is dead
which adds to the stress
The crowds are chanting
What a crazy mess!

JAMES
Stop singing, Please.

LOCAL ONE STAGEHAND
Wednesday on the line with James

JAMES
Give your fliers to the tourists, not to me!

LOCAL ONE
Wednesday on the line with James!
Well, if you want deals
and respect
at the table
not an unfair label,
If you're even able.
If you want your name on the flame
one more story for the vipers on the chat rooms!
there's an answer
You want a stagehand,
sound tech,
light guy, preferably
load-in, load-out, mop!
Stubbornness
Something ripe with greed
and stubbornness
Forever.
All we have be is fair
And James, we're fair
We're almost fair!

James' union's staunch
James' union's proud
Your fight, James
I love your fight, James
I love your rules, James
I love your bite, James
But most, James,
Of all,
But most of all,
I love your teasing...
I think I'm freezing...

A ghost of a pain
Right over my knee
No don't give up, Just
step more carefully!

JAMES
Don't stop marching, please.

LOCAL ONE
Wednesday on the line with James

GEORGE
The fliers held high, please.

DOT
Not even a "thanks"
As if I'd a choice,
the spring would come,
he would hush my voice
Never gonna end, James!
When's it gonna stop?
We're losing our friends, James,
just to be on top
I'll use the mop, Pop!

God, it's very loud!

Well, there are worse things
than marching with your buddies on a Wednesday
There are worse things
than marching with your buddies
as reporters take a picture
after getting an injunction
after going to the courthouse
just to work like any other
in this godforsaken theatre
on the day before Thanksgiving
on a Wednesday
On a Wednesday on the line with

JAMES
Don't move your sign

LOCAL ONE
-James.



Updated On: 11/21/07 at 02:47 PM

[roseaddams]

Posted: 11/21/07 at 3:16pm

That's pretty clever. I like it.