Audience Members You Want to Kick! — Page 2

Straight married couples! Well, not all of them. But I hate the ones who coo at each other and parade their relationships around during the best moments of a show. "You're the love of my life, coo, coo."

"Excuse me, I'm trying to watch this kid blind those horses." Kick.

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If someone does something stupid -- like use a light-up pen or talking or singing or eat out of crinkly packages or WHATEVER -- get an usher! We cannot hear or see everything that goes on in the audience & if we don't know, we can't help. Granted, some of my colleagues seem to think that their job is to sit & read a book for 2 1/2 hours, but this is not so. If one usher won't help, get another or better yet GET THE MANAGER! I have asked the DIRECTOR of a show to move to a seat where audience members cannot see his light-up pen; I have asked parents at children's shows to please take their kids out if the kid's babbling is overwhelming; I have asked people to simply stop eating from a particular bag. I was asked at Mamma Mia why a standee could not sing the songs during the show -- by the offending party. My answer was simple & straightforward: because the audience pays to hear the performers sing, not fellow audience members. We are not there to rain on your parade, but everyone has a right to enjoy the show they paid for. Your ticket of admission does not mean you can do whatever makes your toes tingle even if it disturbs those around you. That was okay in your pram, but not as of pre-school. Sorry to be so blunt, but I can't think of another effective way to say it.

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Arrrgghh! Sounds like a real winner. For people like that it should be perfectly legal to wrestle to the ground & shove a Playbill down their throats.

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During Mary and Edmond's big scene in LONG DAY'S JOURNEY INTO NIGHT, the cellphone of a G*DD*MN F**KING FAT C*NT sitting in the row in front of us starts ringing. It takes what seems like an eternity to reach down to the floor to grab her purse, open it, and dig for the phone. Then the insensitive b*tch starts doing a nervous giggle because she knew she had pissed everyone off. I've got to hand it to Vanessa Redgrave, she stopped mid-sentence and "acted" as though she were trying to gather her thoughts before finishing her speech. When the ringing and giggling stopped she continued brilliantly although I did wonder if the anger she later exhibited in the scene was directed at Edmond or at the "see you next tuesday" in the fifth row.

Hmmmmm---"The Lil'Phantom"??? This is just sick & wrong!! This individual had WAAAAAAY too much time on their hands. What else can you tell me about this person??

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