August Osage County - spoiler question

I also wondered about this the first couple times I saw/read the play years back. It's a little muddy in the script and probably partially up to the director and actors how they'd like to justify the logic (a la the guilt or lack thereof of Father Flynn in Doubt). As I interpreted it, the understanding between her and Bev was that if either of them should die, they should immediately empty the safety deposit box. If he left a suicide note that stated where he was, the seemingly logical thing for a spouse to do would be to go to the motel and try to talk him out of it. The twist is that Violet decided to let him go forward with the suicide - whether it was out of maliciousness or respect for his wishes, doesn't really matter - in order to collect the contents of the deposit box sooner. Her reasoning that "if she had been in her right mind, she might have done things different" is sort of a cop out because she's lucid enough to recall the situation in the first place.