Broadway Hautned House... nominate your choice for additions..

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 1:08am

everyone has haunted house... there is even the evangelical HELL HOUSE! Now, how about the Broadway Haunted House? Nomine your choices for monsters and scary rooms now!

Haylie Duff in Hairspray
Melanie Griffith in Chicago
Lestat
In My Life
Rentheads!!
Idina Menzel 'acting' and 'belting'


AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! The HORROR of it all!!!!!!!!!!!
Updated On: 10/26/06 at 01:08 AM

[Yero my Hero]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 10:14am

Cats. Everywhere. Singing.

[parislover87]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 10:37am

Let's make sure there is room for:
Britney Spears as Sweet Charity (remember that rumor)
Act II of The Wedding Singer
Tarzan without Josh Strickland
and Ashlee's new nose as Roxie

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 10:39am

From what I hear, it's probably safe to add Daphne Rubin-Vega as Fantine

[Enjolras77]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 11:01am

David Merrick would have to be included -- who in the history of Broadway was struck more fear in the heart of people than Mr. Merrick?

The room he is in should be painted bright red to match his old office above the St. James. Each visitor will have to go up to Merrick at his desk and inform him that the show of theirs that he is backing is losing money. Then sit back and watch the horror that ensues!

The next stop in the Broadway Haunted House is the "Jerome Robbins Dance Rehearsal from Hell" room...

Updated On: 10/26/06 at 11:01 AM

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 11:07am

You could probably have a room that contains Patti LuPone circa-being screwed over for the Broadway production of "Sunset Boulevard."

The divaness of the shrieking would be downright terrifying.

Enjy--no one is as scary as David Merrick. If I was in a room with him, I'd have nightmares for WEEKS!

[ahmelie]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 11:50am

This is hilarious.

How about a room of divas. All of them. In one room.

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 11:52am

You read my mind! I was just about to nominate a room full of Cosettes and Christines, all of them shrieking JUST under pitch.

I would die.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 12:23pm

I think, as funny as it is, Forbidden broadway creeps me out on CD whenever I hear Christine Pedi singing like Liza. Oh wait, that's every time!

[Unknown User]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 12:47pm

The list now includes:

Haylie Duff in Hairspray
Melanie Griffith in Chicago
Lestat
In My Life
Rentheads!!
Idina Menzel 'acting' and 'belting'
Cats. Everywhere. Singing.
Britney Spears as Sweet Charity (remember that rumor)
Act II of The Wedding Singer
Tarzan without Josh Strickland
Ashlee's new nose as Roxie
Daphne Rubin-Vega as Fantine
David Merrick
Jerome Robbins Dance Rehearsal from Hell
Patti LuPone circa-being screwed over for the Broadway production of "Sunset Boulevard."
A room of divas. All of them. In one room.
A room full of Cosettes and Christines, all of them shrieking JUST under pitch.
Christine Pedi singing like Liza.

I have to add Francess Rufelle and High School Musical.

[Enjolras77]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 1:13pm

First, you enter the laboratory of Fran and Barry Weissler where they are concocting their latest stunt casting creation gone bad! Thunder roars, lightning flashes, and the electricity surges through the Frankenstein-like machinery as Barry shouts "It's Alive! It's Alive!" Throughout the laboratory are cryogenically frozen specimens of their previous experiments -- some successful such as the chilled figure of Reba McIntyre as Annie Oakley, and others that went horribly wrong like the chamber that contains Louis Gossett, Jr. dressed as Billy Flynn.

As you exit this diabolical laboratory and feel like you have escaped certain death you are in for an unpleasant surprise! For in the next room contains the Jekyll and Hyde Bad Casting Chamber of Horrors! You are subjected to hearing David Hasselhoff and Sebastian Bach "butchering" renditions of "This is the Moment" while swinging their hair extensions like they were cat o'nine tails!

However the horror doesn't end there -- you must next survive being chained to a table and forced to listen to the Ethel Merman Disco album all the way through!!!

When will the horror ever end?!?!!?

Updated On: 10/26/06 at 01:13 PM

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 1:17pm

Very poetic, Enjy. However, I happen to ENJOY the Ethel Merman Disco album

[Enjolras77]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 1:20pm

That's OK Kitzy, there's nothing wrong with being a masochist

Actually...I kinda like the album too. However, you can't have a Broadway ANYTHING without including the Merm somewhere!

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 1:44pm

I choose to think of it as finding utter delight in the absurd as opposed to masochism, Enj.

I would like to add a room where you are mobbed by ShizKids in green paint and all wearing red track suits. *shudder*

[Enjolras77]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 2:19pm

There could be a room with Gladiator-type battles to the death between Best Musical Winners and the shows they beat out to win. You could have Ragtime vs. The Lion King, or Wicked vs. Avenue Q. It would be a way to settle the score once and for all. I can see it now...

"Coalhouse using his Model T as a weapon plows over the three hyenas -- reducing them to roadkill under his 'Wheels of a Dream'. WAIT -- there's Younger Brother planting explosives on the big elephant puppet. WOW what a huge explosion -- he surely does know how to blow things up! The blast has taken out the elephant as well as the actors playing grass, antelope #2, and the African birds on a stick. All of this is going on while Grandfather stands on the sidelines being totally irritated by everything. Uh-oh don't look now - but Simba has pounced on Tateh faster than you can say Buffalo Nickel Photoplay Inc. Simba rips him to pieces! I guess Tateh isn't feeling the love tonight! Wait -- here comes Evelyn Nesbit flying in on her swing and lands a swift kick right into Rafiki's skull -- now that's what I call the crime of the century WHEEEEEE!"

Updated On: 10/26/06 at 02:19 PM

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 2:20pm

You have a gift my friend. Let it shine.

[Julian2]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 2:51pm

*Twyla Tharp's Rack for the Critics of The Times They Are a'Changin'. . .

*Aurther Laurents is fed small unexperienced young theatre writers . . .

Updated On: 10/26/06 at 02:51 PM

[AshleyBrownFan123]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 3:26pm

Enjy, I love your post of Lion King vs Ragtime

[Enjolras77]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 3:31pm

Kitzy and ABFan -- thanks for the love

[thevolleyballer]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 4:18pm

This thread is so, so mean. I love it.

How about tons of little tiny Carly Jibson faces as wallpaper print?

[bwayondabrain]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 4:23pm

Dee Hoty sitting in a chair singing MAMMA-MIA! songs *shudders*

[Unknown User]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 4:50pm

Thoughts of Lion King scare me almost as much as 12 year old girls who worship Idina Menzel.

[Amneris]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 5:32pm

times they are a changin being the only show to perform at bway on bway

[Phantom2]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 6:39pm

Laura Benanti and Tina Maddigan singing Defying Gravity then strangling each other. Sorry, I couldn't resist!

Updated On: 10/26/06 at 06:39 PM

[bwayondabrain]

Posted: 10/26/06 at 6:40pm

ha phantom, that would actually be rather funny! :P