Coded Theatre Phrases

[After Eight]

Posted: 1/13/15 at 9:11pm

While awaiting the expected raves for the newest pretentious, sleep-inducing exercise in self-indulgence imported from Britain (How DOES that place churn out these things?), I thought it might be amusing to list the sort of phrases characteristically used to fawn over such tripe, all of which are coded messages for the actual truth. Of course, the knowledgeable theatregoer sees them exactly for what they are, but they keep popping up --- like weeds!

Anyhow, I've come up with a few. Perhaps others here can add their own favorites.

"Fascinating conceit." - The word "conceit," is always a tip-off that you are in for an evening of smug, pretentious, exasperating, and overpowering boredom.

"Dazzlingly clever wordplay." - Self-indulgent, excruciating babble.

"Requires an audience to think/ pay close attention" -- You'll be snoozing in 10 minutes.

"Highly praised in London." -- You'll be snoozing in five minutes.

"It's not for everyone" -- It's not for anyone--- anyone who seeks enjoyment, that is.

"It won't be everyone's cup of tea." - Undrinkable, Molly Brown.

"But I loved it/ found it fascinating/ stimulating/ bracing..." - In other words, I'm superior to the dense multitudes who will rebel sitting through this crap. Strictly for the snob set and snob wannabes.

"The music is not the kind that you will hum as you leave the theatre" - It's ugly.

"But it's brilliant." - It stinks.

"It pushes the envelope"- Crude, crass, and offensive --- for the delectation of the crude, crass, and offensive.

"An important new voice." --- Wear earplugs.

[Bucky Builder]

Posted: 1/13/15 at 9:13pm

You will find the jackpot on the Into the woods official thread.

Updated On: 1/13/15 at 09:13 PM

[After Eight]

Posted: 1/13/15 at 9:17pm

Bucky,

That's why I've avoided it --- like the plague!

[Fantod]

Posted: 1/13/15 at 9:26pm

I think any time somebody calls something "brilliant", it just means that it's all talk and no intrigue, and certainly no fun.

[After Eight]

Posted: 1/13/15 at 9:34pm

Fantod,

The very idea of "fun" is anathema to present-day "critics," as well as to the varied assortment of snobs, snarkmeisters and spoilsports on this board!

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 1/13/15 at 10:28pm

Stunted old Grandmama and stunted little Fantod. You just don't want to grow up. That's fine.

However, I don't suppose either of you has seen Sleep No More? Oh wait, you can't go if you're only 14. But Grandmama, the site CAN accommodate wheelchairs, so you should give it a try. It is a LOT of fun and filled with enjoyment.

I do want to honor Grandmama's claim to having avoided something "like the plague" since he was lucky to survive the 1918 flu pandemic.

Updated On: 1/13/15 at 10:28 PM

[Mr. Nowack]

Posted: 1/13/15 at 10:47pm

"It won't be everyone's cup of tea." - Undrinkable, Molly Brown.

AfterEight ruffles a lotta feathers but one cannot deny that's pretty clever wordplay. Not dazzling perhaps (for fear of insulting him/her).

Though calling any music "ugly" certainly raises a red flag.

[peerrjb]

Posted: 1/14/15 at 5:15am

Funny how many of the initial translatable phrases were many of the critical comments of the original "West Side Story" and "Company".

[tazber]

Posted: 1/14/15 at 5:53am

Funny and expected.

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 1/14/15 at 8:53am

This from a poster for whom alliteration is the absolute apogee for assessing artistic appraisal!

[haterobics]

Posted: 1/14/15 at 8:59am

There is a disconnect between this and After Eight's pattern of going to first previews. By the time most of these phrases might appear in reviews, he saw the show ages ago. So why find patterns and develop a system that could filter out undesirable shows, without changing one's behavior to benefit from it?

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 1/14/15 at 9:06am

In show business, that's what they call cognitive dissonance.

[After Eight]

Posted: 1/14/15 at 9:21am

I noticed this morning that one of our fellow BWW posters used a term that definitely should be added to the list:

"Progressive." --- Are you ever IN for it! Head for the hills!

[RaisedOnMusicals]

Posted: 1/14/15 at 1:35pm

"This from a poster for whom alliteration is the absolute apogee for assessing artistic appraisal!"

This is clever, but the last phrase could also be "apraising artistic assessment", meaning, not quite right.

So, how about "assessing artistic achievement"?

[Sally Durant Plummer]

Posted: 1/14/15 at 1:43pm

I'm glad After Eight is back. Maybe we can go watch my video of Follies together!

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 1/14/15 at 1:47pm

RaisedOnMusicals, I meant it to be convoluted, as After Eight's own wordplay often is. It's satire. #jesuisaftereight

But I like yours, too! It's sufficiently self-serving and sad!

[Wilmingtom]

Posted: 1/14/15 at 4:24pm

I so admire folks who are optimistic about the state of theater and wish its participants well. Heartwarming indeed.