Ever had a show shot to hell by THIS audience grinch?

[GladysBumps]

Posted: 10/11/04 at 11:20am

She brazenly approaches arriving audience members, interrupting conversations, startling those lost in thought, confusing the elderly, in search of the ever elusive "extra ticket." Or perhaps you know someone who knows someone who can get her in. I watched as this thick skinned, shameless creature did ner number on some ninety-two (I was early, I counted) unsuspecting theatre patrons attending this Sunday's Public Theatre performance of Judith Ivy's "Dirty Tricks."

Of course, she always gets a ticket, persistance like that does not go unrewarded. However, getting thru the door is not enough for this self-centered monster. Dissatisfied with the location of her freebie, thus begins the process of shopping for the perfect seat, again interrupting conversations, pushing into crowded rows, pushing out of crowed rows once the actual legal occupant arrives. This process can continue right up to and past curtain time. God forbid someone arrives a few minutes late: flashlights, horse whispers, the rustle of ticket subs being removed from purses. All the while, the cow sits there, not budinging, innocent until PROVEN guilty. So much for the entire first scene . . .

This Sunday, as she moved in on me, I could tell the third row center seat to my left just had her name on it. I don't know what came over me, I guess it was anticipation of seeing my beautiful Judith's first scene go down the tubes, but I just snapped: "Oh no, Lady, you have ruined enough shows for me, you are not going to blow this one! Usher! Usher!" Of course, I looked like the maniac, as she blithely pushed past me, settling in to another prime empty seat (which , of course she was forced to vacate, just minutes before curtain). Finally arriving, the legal occupant of the seat next to mine, seeing my embarassment, consoled me with the news she had seen this very same dingbat thrown out of the Harvard club just weeks before. Another audience member offered that the woman also works Encores, making life miserable for anyone in her path, even once she does finally settle on a seat.

So warning, my beauties, if a wan lady, of Indian or Pakistani decent approaches you outside a New York theatre in search of a free ticket, even if you have one, RUN!

Kisses,
Gladys

[lovettespies]

Posted: 10/11/04 at 11:27am

That's terrible. Thank you for the heads up!

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 10/11/04 at 12:39pm

From your story, it sounds like theatre management should be informed about the goings on of this woman before she even enters the theatre.

[VivaBohemia]

Posted: 10/11/04 at 1:28pm

Is she a young laddy? Older lady? Short, tall? And what shows does she seem to focus on?

[everythingtaboo]

Posted: 10/11/04 at 1:51pm

C'mon people, we need a face shot of this woman. Whip out those cell phones, take a pic and pass it to every usher and box office person out there. Theatres do have the right to refuse entry, maybe they need to start enforcing it once in awhile, as London does.

[GladysBumps]

Posted: 10/11/04 at 3:03pm

She's tallish, mid-fifties, salt and pepper hair pulled back in a bun and, as I said, either of Indian or Pakistani descent. There's more to Sunday's story, even more outrageous, I'll get back to you tonight.
Why me?
Gladys

[GladysBumps]

Posted: 10/11/04 at 11:22pm

So we're out front of the Public after the performance (which, by the way was mind blowing to the max, despite the intrusion) unlocking my bike when the entitlement queen, this maniac, who bummed her way into the theatre and caused a ruckus, walks up to us, all on her high horse and says: "I think you owe me an explanation." I go: "Listen Lady, I don't owe you a thing." We leave. She shadows us: "Just what shows have I ruined for you? I don't even know you." "No? Well everybody knows YOU. You're famous, lady," my companion, having watched her act out at The City Center on numerous occasions, shrieks, "You're the theatregoer from hell!" "Just what shows?" she persists. This continues ad nausium all the way up to Astor Place, terminated only by my friend darting down the subway steps and me speeding away on my Schwinn.

I hastily add, she did not ruin our evening. In lesser hands than Judith Ivy, she might have, but she did not.

Stand warned, possoms,
Gladys