Have you ever overheard funny comments in the audience? — Page 5

ha! these are hilarious. here's a story. i was doing some insipid show years ago in a florida dinner theatre (by the way.... they bring the blue-hairs in by the bus load for these dinner theatres which is great because the cast is just as entertained as the audience.) about halfway through the first act an elderly and somewhat deaf gentleman starts moaning.

old man- ohhhh mmmhhhhhhmmm ooooo......

various audience members- hubub hubub hubub

old man- oooohhhh eeeeeehhhhh whew mmmmhhhmmm

enter wait staff....

waitor-(in a loud whisper) is everything alright sir?

old man- OOOHHHHHHHH MMMMHHHHMMM it's those damned swedish meatballs you gave me. i think they've gone bad.

audience members- HUBUB HUBUBUBUB!!!

waitor- is there anything i can do? would you like something to drink?

old man- OOOOoooohhhh God! get me the hell out of here before i **** my pants.

audience members- hubub hubub hububub....

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I've been in a coupla hundred performances of Evita, and the funniest comment was:

"There's too much singin' in this play."

At least once a week someone would loudly whisper

"Was she a real person?"

funny at first, but it got old.

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Type-A-Tiff
RE: Miss Saigon roadshow and the "gay" Chris

It was at least three years ago -- max five...sorry I don't have the program...he was a cutie though!

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Updated On: 8/1/04 at 03:47 PM

i did the sound of music early this year and many things happened during one performance. During the concert scene where the von trapps are singing the 'so long farewell (reprise)' and saying goodbye, this little boy screams 'GOOD BYE!!' and I could not help laughing. I just looked at my co-star and proceded to wave. also, during that same show, in the final scene when rolf comes out with a gun and points it at the family, the same little boy screams out 'MOMMY STOP HIM!!!!' It was soo cute. I got to meet the little kid afterwards because he came up to me and a few castmates asking for autographs.

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This isn't a funny comment but as a Theatre Geek I find it amusing!

Rent came into Kansas City Last month and During The show The older couple to the right of us stood up and the old man said " What is this ****. People these days are filthy" and the walked out.... I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath.... How long has Rent been out now and people still are spending tons of money on a show they know nothing about...

I dunno I found it entertaining!

During my school trip to LITTLE SHOP a few months back, we were seated next to a large group of extremely rude kids. They were loud, whiny, had their cellphones go off a million times.....just plain rude.

During the part when Orin first slaps Audrey...One of the loud girls from the group shouts "Dont take that from him, hit him back bitch!!!"

I laughed my ass off despite how pissed off i was at the group.

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Oh. My. God those are hilarious!!! Mine aren't that funny... but its all I have.

At Wicked, during intermission, there is this girl, probably like 20, sitting a few seats down from me. She says to someone she's with "I like it, but I just don't understand how Idina beat Kristin out for the Tony. I mean, she's not even scary. Shes the Wicked Witch, shes supposed to be scary." I was like uhmm, not quite...

And then at the stage door these people came up from Texas or something and saw like every show on Broadway. I feel bad saying this but this one boy seemed like a geek. He had like the slicked sideways hair and a lisp. He was talking about Avenue Q and the Lion King, and he was like "When I saw the sign for Wicked that said 'Best Musical of the Year'(you know the quote from some magazine?) I thought they had made a mistake! I thought Wicked had really won!"

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Okay, not theatre-related, but when I went to see The Passion of the Christ, the girl sitting near me said at the end,

"I just don't get why He didn't talk much...I mean, he's JESUS! He could have made a speech or soemthing!"

Ohhhhhhhhhhhkay.

Lord yes. 2 incidents come to mind. TRUE stories:

1) Back in 1991, I was seeing a performance in the city of American Ballet Theater. (I had been comped in.) The evening's works consisted of very mellow pieces....veeeery quiet music. There was a rude woman sitting a few rows ahead of me. You know the drill, candy wrappers crinkling loudly and INCESSANTLY, talking aloud to her hubby, shifting in her seat non-stop. We all hated her. Well, the woman sitting behind her looked to be a friend of hers, as she seemed to be politely leaning forward over the woman's shoulder and chatting a bit. GREAT we all thought. WRONG. After continual rudeness, the woman sitting behind her (they both looked to be in their early 50's, mind you)
hauled off and punched the rude woman hard, forcefully and LOUDLY - SQUARE in the back, between her shoulder blades.
The rude woman was aghast: "Are you NUTS?!", she screamed at the woman behind her. The puncher: "Will you just SHUT THE F--K UP, YOU RUDE-ASS TW_T?"
Intermission hit and that rude woman disappeared into the night. We all applauded the puncher. The clincher was that they both looked very ritzy-ditzy ladies.

2) The DAMN YANKEES revival back in the 90's. Great seats down front center orchestra. Great performance. The beginning of the SHOELESS JOE #. Outta NOWHERE, down the aisle, STUMBLES a drunk man and his even drunker wife. They looked to be early 30's. Guess they got crocked at supper and SUDDENLY remebered that they had theater tickets. They talked ALOUD as they argued and were shown to their seats, MID-AISLE, thank you very much. We all got up and looked to be doing "the wave" as they stepped on all of our toes getitng in. God bless Vicky Lewis and the boys. They kept on singing and dancin' uip a storm as these 2 drunks sat and FOUGHT, ALOUD. They seemed to be looking RIGHT AT OUR AREA, trying to subtly see what the problem was.

We "shushed" them various times. They got violent in response. You BELIEVE THAT? A DIVINE gay couple got nasty back, rasping that we all paid a LOT of cash for our tkts. and to sit down before he "bitch slapped her into oblivion". The drunk man stumbled out during the dance break and left his date. SUDDENLY she "stands" up, and goes: What? You gonna LEAVE ME HERE? Hey, wait, wait, where the hell AM I? What IS this? What's the music?" She didn't even realize where she was. The ushers stood there, frozen. She ran out of the row, smashing all of our feet. She got into the aisle, then, fell. She began to CRAWL up the aisle, cursing, muttering, and saying "this show SUCKS." The ushers didn't do squat and they saw the entire thing. At intermission, we bought the gay couple a drink to congratulate them. A nice-sized clutch of we gay men, all strangers, convened and began to bash the drunks AND the ushers. The house manager received TONS of complaints on the incident AND on the usher's lack of action.

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Ohh, one more. Went with a mob of pals and my ex beau (who is also an actor) to see RENT ages ago, original cast. Great performance. We were in standing room. All i heard from the rich folks in the pricy seats: "God, the VOLUME, the VOLUME!" "What the hell is this thing supposed to be about, anyway?" "Why did that girl do pail dance?" (They were referring to Angel's pail playing and had NO CLUE it was a man. When he returned in the end, in male drag, they began to chatter: "Who's THAT? Is this a new character? How can they toss a new character at us during the FINALE?" Oy!)

Top of Act 2 as the cast is trying to break back into their apt. on new yers's eve on the roof, the long fold-up table they had gets flipped over in the blocking. My hilariously caustic ex: "Whoops! There goes their SET!" Well, we all cracked-up because that seems to be the most expensive part and ONLY part of their set.

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Not funny but...
In Les Miz, a couple went out to the lobby during the intermission, and the woman the man "I'm sorry dear, I didn't know they were going to sing that much, thank God is over" and they left, they missed all the second act... Idiots

I was in a small prod of Chicago and I was playing Mama Morton and during the If you're Good to Mama number after I said "If you want my gravy... a guy yelled, "I want the whole dish baby"

West Side Story, I feel pretty.. "Miss America can just resign" they yelled really loud "In your dreams!!!!"

One time I was seeing "Annie Get Your Gun", and these people behind me were reading their playbils and one said, "Bernadette Peters? Wasn't she that girl who was married to Steve Martin?"

:P It took control on my part. First I'm thinking, "Okay morons, she was never married to Steve Martin", but I could understand where they might have thought that, so I let it slide. Then I was thinking, "Okay, she's already won the Tony for this role and she is very well known on Broadway." These people knew nothing about her accept for "The Jerk."

One time at "The Boy From Oz" this woman next to me yelled out, "Oh my God! He's gay! But he was married to Liza Minnelli?"

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