I HATE MUSICALS
I HATE MUSICALS
#0I HATE MUSICALS
Posted: 8/13/05 at 1:32am
I Hate Musicals
(à la Ethel Merman in “Gypsy”)
Honey, if I want to see theatre, I’ll go see a play!
With no singing or dancing to get in the way!
Theatre is language and that should be all
Music belongs at the Carnegie Hall!
Not a reason on Earth, as far as I know
To write, mount, and open a musical show!
The story is moving
Chocked full of suspense
The plot takes a twist
And the mood is intense
Then someone sings a song (Like this!)
That doesn’t make sense!
Please!
I hate musicals!
I hate the new shows
They’re nothing but sets!
I miss the von Trapp kids
The Sharks and the Jets!
Unplug those keyboards!
Give me real clarinets
Miss Otis says,
“With no regrets,
I hate musicals!”
There doesn’t seem to be a shred of anything new!
The hottest shows were all composed by late ’62!
Now if you want to create a sensation,
Use a Hollywood star and amplification!
And whether the show is a hit or a flop,
They sell T-shirts and caps with their logo on top!
So even though ya hate the show,
At least ya can shop!
One size fits all
At a musical!
I hate the genre,
It’s all second rate!
When forced to see this dreck,
I always come late!
From overture to curtain call
It all turns me off!
I sit there and cough,
The whole night long!
‘Cause I hate musicals!
(But not as much as I hate this song!)
I Hate Musicals (Reprise)
How I hated Phantom down to each candelabra!
I took the book along and read through Les Misera-blah!
When it comes to subtlety, the Brits fall a hair short!
If I want helicopters, I’ll go to the airport!
So keep your chorus lines of gypsies and mames!
I’d rather see a flick or bowl a few frames!
No matter who is starring,
I never entice!
It’s way overpriced
And I never pay!
‘Cause I hate musicals!
But I fear they’re here to stay!
Yes
I hate musicals!
But not as much as I hate…
…Ballet!
Ruthless! The Musical
Book and Lyrics by Joal Paley
Music by Marvin Laird
Updated On: 8/13/05 at 01:32 AM
#1re: I HATE MUSICALS
Posted: 8/13/05 at 1:34amEEEEE! I love it, Thenardier!
Deet: Shira, I Love You!
grizzabella
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/11/05
#3re: I HATE MUSICALS
Posted: 8/13/05 at 1:38amWell that certainly got my attention! And I enjoyed it immensely! Thanks, Thenardier!
"And the postman sighed as he scratched his head, you really rather thought she ought to be dead..."
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
bjivie2
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/13/04
#7re: I HATE MUSICALS
Posted: 8/13/05 at 4:39amI just directed the show. So much fun. Hillarious.
Eeeeeeyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaannnnnddddd aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiyyyyyyaaaaaammmmmmmm teeeeeeeelllllliiiiiinnngg yyyyooooooouuuuuuuwwwaaaahh...
#8re: I HATE MUSICALS
Posted: 8/13/05 at 8:59amAWWWWW -- Thenardier / Chita the two of you. Now you got me humming the Pippi song!!!
". . . POP . . ."
#10re: I HATE MUSICALS
Posted: 8/13/05 at 2:59pm
I love this show!!
the girl who did this role at my school was a dumb b**** though :) No one likes her, she never showed up to rehearsals and then she didn't make one of her entrances because teh doorbell didn't ring, so she just stood there!!!! the prof who played Sylvia cussed her out a few times...LOVED IT!
and all that I could do because of you was talk of love...
#11re: I HATE MUSICALS
Posted: 8/13/05 at 4:34pmGOOOOOOOOOOOD . . . VEEEEEEEEEEEEEERY GOOD!!!
". . . POP . . ."
#12re: I HATE MUSICALS
Posted: 8/13/05 at 5:57pm
LOL 
I get lost, unless, of course, I'm getting found.
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