#1
Posted: 10/7/05 at 10:51am
(Full cast in, center of front row mezzanine.)
This has got to be the most... bizarre musical ever written. I am STILL quite speechless after seeing last night's performance.
I suppose one should begin with the flying, flamboyantly homosexual opera director (who, by the way, happens to be full of offensive gay jokes throughout the hour and forty minute long musical from hell) that, believe it or not, is dead and living in heaven. Winston, this angelic creature that I'm talking about, is contracted by God Almighty, The Lord, Our Savior, Allah, Whatever You Feel Like Calling Him, to write an opera - often referred to in Brooks' dreadful libretto as "God's Opera" - using humans still living on earth. And so, our story begins:
We meet Jenny and TJ. The first being a control-freak of a writer for the village voice, the latter being an aspiring rock star who just happens to have Tourettes Syndrome! His tick, if you're willing to let your brain actually believe this for a second, is to rhyme words. And the first rhyme we are introduced to is, "Fu*k, suck, duck!" (No, folks. I'm not kidding.) Anyway, moving on very quickly (because that's what happens in the show) Jenny and TJ meet, fall in love, make love and decide to move in together. Which allows us to be in on the main joke of the evening - the lemons. Whenever he is happy, TJ yells out "Lemon!" Of course, Winston is here the entire time watching and plotting.
TJ discusses the memory of his mother, who taught him how to sing. So we're treated to a flashback of his mother, a Stepford Wife in the kitchen, who randomly bursts out into an Italian operatic aria. And never really shows herself again for quite a while. (And how could I forget? The mother is African-American, the daughter is hispanic, the son is white. Talk about color-blind casting.)
Meanwhile... TJ's sister, Vera, is up in heaven with his mother. They were hit in a car accident by Jenny's best friend's, Sam, boyfriend, Nick, who was drunk but forgiven and is ALSO in heaven seeking the forgiveness of Vera. (He succeeds, folks, and then Nick and Vera go out for grape-flavored slurpees.) Vera goes to Al, a commercial-jingle-singing version of The Lord Almighty, and pleads to him to not let Winston do anything too terrible to TJ in his tragic opera.
And even still, Winston tries a series of different plot twists. Pirates swoop down on Jenny's apartment while her and TJ are making love. And then, finally, we learn TJ has a brain tumor pressing against his eye. If they operate, he could die or be left with no memory of his music. If they don't, he will die. And this, ladies and germs, is TJ's "Skeleton in the closet". And so, Winston pulls a skeleton out of the closet and proceeds to dance with it around the stage in a dance break while a few line-dancing skeletons are projected on the brick-wall of a set. To discuss the tumor, Winston sings a song with a bunch of sci-fi-like surgeons in which he proclaims, "I heard a rumor, that he's got a tumor!" (Again, I promise you that I'm not kidding!)
Well, eventually, all seems to be mended, the opera is called off, the surgery goes fine and Jenny and TJ are to be wed. Winston is hired by God (who Joe Brooks referrs to as "Al") to plan the wedding. The theme? LEMONS! An enormous cardboard lemon that fills the entire stage comes down from the sky, and the wedding takes place in front of it - all the cast in the ugliest of lemon-colored costumes and lemon-colored flowers in their hair and bouquets in hand.
Following the wedding, which "Al" congratulates Winston on, Winston declares that maybe there will be a sequel. And I, not realizing how loud I had said it, groaned, "Oh my God, no!" and got a glare from much of the audience around me.
I wish that I could say there is something brilliant about this beyond the talented cast. But, I'm afraid, I can't. Best of all is knowing that the cast is just as much ashamed of performing the show as we are of seeing it. Winston's flight mechanics failed toward the end of the show, to which he remarked, "We're in previews, folks. We're all in this together!" As funny as it is, it's a little sad to see such talented individuals stuck in such a piece of garbage.
Brooks' score has a few highlights. His lyrics are atrocious, from "I like to go out and buy Moo Shoo Pork and eat it with my hands when no one is around to see" or "My cat named Yoda". However, some of the music is hummable and there were a few moments that I'd actually like to see recorded just so that I can hear them again.
The set? Well. It's decent. It does it's job. It's, for the most part, a giant brick wall, that most of the set is projected on besides a small diner piece and a desk and Jenny's apartment. It's nothing to be wowed over, but it's nothing to really put down either.
The lighting? A sad attempt to copy the brilliant lighting of THE LIGHT IN THE PIAZZA.
The orchestra! A fantastic group of instrumentalists (although I couldn't help but wonder if the music was canned because I couldn't figure out where the pit was...) who all sound wonderful together playing, quite possibly, the most ridiculous score to ever hit Broadway.
The costumes? Besides the typical costumes of our... humans... they're all pretty ridiculous for Winston. They do the job, but that's about it.
Run, don't walk to the Music Box. Get yourself a ticket to this because I know how unbelievable it really sounds. This is an experience that no theatergoer should miss. Wait. No. Let me rephrase that. This is an experience that NO ONE should miss.
One can't help but wonder how in the hell this ever made it to Broadway, let alone to a workshop. I've never been more excited to read the reviews of our oh-so BELOVED critics. They should be the most amusing we've ever seen.
This has got to be the most... bizarre musical ever written. I am STILL quite speechless after seeing last night's performance.
I suppose one should begin with the flying, flamboyantly homosexual opera director (who, by the way, happens to be full of offensive gay jokes throughout the hour and forty minute long musical from hell) that, believe it or not, is dead and living in heaven. Winston, this angelic creature that I'm talking about, is contracted by God Almighty, The Lord, Our Savior, Allah, Whatever You Feel Like Calling Him, to write an opera - often referred to in Brooks' dreadful libretto as "God's Opera" - using humans still living on earth. And so, our story begins:
We meet Jenny and TJ. The first being a control-freak of a writer for the village voice, the latter being an aspiring rock star who just happens to have Tourettes Syndrome! His tick, if you're willing to let your brain actually believe this for a second, is to rhyme words. And the first rhyme we are introduced to is, "Fu*k, suck, duck!" (No, folks. I'm not kidding.) Anyway, moving on very quickly (because that's what happens in the show) Jenny and TJ meet, fall in love, make love and decide to move in together. Which allows us to be in on the main joke of the evening - the lemons. Whenever he is happy, TJ yells out "Lemon!" Of course, Winston is here the entire time watching and plotting.
TJ discusses the memory of his mother, who taught him how to sing. So we're treated to a flashback of his mother, a Stepford Wife in the kitchen, who randomly bursts out into an Italian operatic aria. And never really shows herself again for quite a while. (And how could I forget? The mother is African-American, the daughter is hispanic, the son is white. Talk about color-blind casting.)
Meanwhile... TJ's sister, Vera, is up in heaven with his mother. They were hit in a car accident by Jenny's best friend's, Sam, boyfriend, Nick, who was drunk but forgiven and is ALSO in heaven seeking the forgiveness of Vera. (He succeeds, folks, and then Nick and Vera go out for grape-flavored slurpees.) Vera goes to Al, a commercial-jingle-singing version of The Lord Almighty, and pleads to him to not let Winston do anything too terrible to TJ in his tragic opera.
And even still, Winston tries a series of different plot twists. Pirates swoop down on Jenny's apartment while her and TJ are making love. And then, finally, we learn TJ has a brain tumor pressing against his eye. If they operate, he could die or be left with no memory of his music. If they don't, he will die. And this, ladies and germs, is TJ's "Skeleton in the closet". And so, Winston pulls a skeleton out of the closet and proceeds to dance with it around the stage in a dance break while a few line-dancing skeletons are projected on the brick-wall of a set. To discuss the tumor, Winston sings a song with a bunch of sci-fi-like surgeons in which he proclaims, "I heard a rumor, that he's got a tumor!" (Again, I promise you that I'm not kidding!)
Well, eventually, all seems to be mended, the opera is called off, the surgery goes fine and Jenny and TJ are to be wed. Winston is hired by God (who Joe Brooks referrs to as "Al") to plan the wedding. The theme? LEMONS! An enormous cardboard lemon that fills the entire stage comes down from the sky, and the wedding takes place in front of it - all the cast in the ugliest of lemon-colored costumes and lemon-colored flowers in their hair and bouquets in hand.
Following the wedding, which "Al" congratulates Winston on, Winston declares that maybe there will be a sequel. And I, not realizing how loud I had said it, groaned, "Oh my God, no!" and got a glare from much of the audience around me.
I wish that I could say there is something brilliant about this beyond the talented cast. But, I'm afraid, I can't. Best of all is knowing that the cast is just as much ashamed of performing the show as we are of seeing it. Winston's flight mechanics failed toward the end of the show, to which he remarked, "We're in previews, folks. We're all in this together!" As funny as it is, it's a little sad to see such talented individuals stuck in such a piece of garbage.
Brooks' score has a few highlights. His lyrics are atrocious, from "I like to go out and buy Moo Shoo Pork and eat it with my hands when no one is around to see" or "My cat named Yoda". However, some of the music is hummable and there were a few moments that I'd actually like to see recorded just so that I can hear them again.
The set? Well. It's decent. It does it's job. It's, for the most part, a giant brick wall, that most of the set is projected on besides a small diner piece and a desk and Jenny's apartment. It's nothing to be wowed over, but it's nothing to really put down either.
The lighting? A sad attempt to copy the brilliant lighting of THE LIGHT IN THE PIAZZA.
The orchestra! A fantastic group of instrumentalists (although I couldn't help but wonder if the music was canned because I couldn't figure out where the pit was...) who all sound wonderful together playing, quite possibly, the most ridiculous score to ever hit Broadway.
The costumes? Besides the typical costumes of our... humans... they're all pretty ridiculous for Winston. They do the job, but that's about it.
Run, don't walk to the Music Box. Get yourself a ticket to this because I know how unbelievable it really sounds. This is an experience that no theatergoer should miss. Wait. No. Let me rephrase that. This is an experience that NO ONE should miss.
One can't help but wonder how in the hell this ever made it to Broadway, let alone to a workshop. I've never been more excited to read the reviews of our oh-so BELOVED critics. They should be the most amusing we've ever seen.
"I know now that theatre saved my life." - Susan Stroman
Updated On: 10/7/05 at 10:51 AM
