Broadway Star Joined: 12/8/03
-Most of the lyrics from A Little Priest (Sweeney Todd)
-"We dance as if we’re happy
We sing as if we’re fine
But the simple fact, is simply that
We’ve gone and lost our minds"
(Garlic, DotV)
There's quite a few more, but unfortunately I have to start my AP American History essay, so I'll have to write them up later lol.
"...watching actors never reach the ending of their Oscar speech!"
Personally, as a soon-to-be college grad and English major, the whole "What do you do with a B.A. in English?" REALLY gets me every time?:) Then again, the entire libretto of Avenue Q could be on this list, and should be.:)
"Every now and then I hear his voice, hear my darling john, every now and then I see his face, yeah he's dead but he ain't gone." "Hey toffee we all miss johnny but come back to the ground, ya gotta cheer up he only died! Not like he's screwing around!" - Zombie Prom
also,
"try actor thats compactor."
"yes and always arrives overdone!" - Sweeney Todd
I love those lines!
"Just grab your dick and double-click....porn, porn, porn" from Avenue Q
(I just laughed typing it in)
"How am I to thank you?"
"Kindly let it pass"
"Would you like a slice?"
"That might be nice
but frankly, it would give me gas."
from CABARET
All of A Little Priest makes me laugh
as does all of Avenue Q
most of Forbidden Broadway has a similar effect on me (A Chorus Cat, Chita Rita, The King and Her/Whistle a Sondheim Tune/Shall We Boink?, Merman and Sunset Bvde, Grease Infomercial etc) i just cant help but laugh
almost all of avenue q (except for fine fine line) but i mean - that's a given
Agony from into the woods both the original and the reprise are my absolute favorite comedic songs
This isn't a lyric, but I guess it counts:
Makeup Artist: Can I help you with anything behind this counter? Like a purchase perhaps?
Marilyn: What's this? In the big bottle...
Makeup Artist: It's a ladies perfume.
George: Oh, can we try some then.
Makeup Artist: I'm afraid it doesn't come as an aftershave. And it's very expensive.
Mailyn & George: Oh, really.
Geroge: What's this one, then?
Makeup Artist: It's an anti aging cream.
Marilyn: Do you use it?
Makeup Artist: I use the entire line!
Marilyn: Well it's a pity it doesn't F*CKING WORK THEN, ISN'T IT!!!!
-TABOO
Anyone who got to see Brooke Elliot as the makeup artist knows how hysterical her british accent was...
You can tell my papa, that's allright, cause he comes in here everynight, but don't tell mama what you know...You can tell my grandma, suits me fine, jsut yesterday she joined the line...you can tell my uncle here and now, cause he's my agent anyhow...you can tell my brother, that ain't grim, cause if he sqeuals on me, I'll squeal on him? ~~Cabaret~~Don't Tell Mama
All of Master of the House
If I'm your pinup, I'll melt all your brass/ Stuck to a wall with a pin in my ass!~Miss Saigon
well lets just say if jesus christ had lived in chicago today, and if he had 5000...things woulda turned out differently- billy flynn
roxie: jesus mary and joseph
velma: honey, your dealing with the wrong people
If the actress performs the "Mooing" well at the end of "Over the moon" I will usually laugh my ass off.
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/26/04
"I know, put my earmuffs on the cookie"
"Yooooouuu look like David Hasselhoff"
"Who painted the kitten?"
"And I can't wait to eat her p*ssy again!"
"That's just what my parents told me, when I was a kid. Sheeeyit."
"F*ck you, lady, that's what stairs are for!"
"Sorry, Kate. I masturbate!"
"Slap it and lick it and rub it and SUCK IT!!!"
- My personal favorite lines from Avenue Q
'And in conclusion... F*ck you! F*ck you all!' - Jerry Springer in Jerry Springer The Opera
QM
"No, you see, the trouble with poet is how do you know it's deceased? Try the priest."
hehe this isnt from a show, but from the movie Superstar when the Grandmother is trying to teach the kids how to perform...
Grandma Gallagher: When I say tap, you tap, and when I say booga booga, you booga booga.
Maria Ganitisis: What's booga booga?
Grandma Gallagher: I don't know, but when I say it you better ****in figure it out!
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