I think it would have to be an opera, it's so big and overdone--when Faye is saying "No wire hangers!" she SOUNDS as if she's singing. Think of it--a bass note on "NOOOOO....chord chord...WIIII-RREEE(higher note)...chord chord...HAAAANNNNGGGGERS!!!!(soprano-shrieked high note.)
I ask in all honesty/What would life be?/Without a song and a dance, what are we?/So I say "Thank you for the music/For giving it to me."
I love "no wire hangers," but I hope a stage musical wouldn't leave out other great scenes (ESPECIALLY setting lotion, missing babies and the argument with Al Steele over the apartment) in favor of making it the longest scene.
Someone should also do a musical version of Supergirl, a movie that might as well have been a sequel to Mommie Dearest since Faye played the evil witch Selena almost exactly as she played Joan.
I mean I see it in the vein of "Ruthless!" with a man as Joan (or at least Kathleen Turner).
There's a stage show called "Mommie Queerest"- a drag Mommie Dearest with a man as Joan, a man as Christina, etc. I caught it in L.A. and almost hurt something from laughing so hard. 'Twas good.
(OMG- Mommie Dearest is playing on tv right now!!)
This is what I posted on my blog, which was a combo of what I posted here and what I emailed to a friend. Let me know if you have any specific questions and I'll try and answer!:
Saw Mommie Queerest at the Hudson Theatre tonight, and it was one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time!
For those who are fans of the camp of the movie, it is all here- the swimming scene, "Tina, bring me the ax," "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt," the rare meat dinner, "Understand, the first word I ever heard out of any of you...," "I am NOT one of your fans," and, of course, the wire hanger scene. The setup is basicially the Mommie Dearest story, with the 'twist' at the end that Christina "discovers" that Joan was really a man all along, and so writes a book called Mommie Queerest, which no one wants to read.
But, this cast takes Mommie Dearest up and out to a whole new level of camp- a catfight staged to Bette Davis Eyes, 'Christina Aguilera Crawford,' etc.- ok so it all makes more sense in context. :)
They did some stuff to music, but it was music as in it was a soundtrack, the show was just straight-up dialogue, no singing from the folks on stage, but music in the bkgd.
The haircut scene: fierce light on Joan and her scissors, strobe lights going off all around, no other lighting, bits of hair flying everywhere, Joan's got some great lines including bits about "looking like you're working the streets of West Hollywood," etc., strobe lights turn off and Christina's changed wigs from the little blonde curls look to some awful half shaved, half fluff, I'm not even sure it was a wig before the props guys got ahold of it, wig. It played a lot better than I can do it justice in words!
I think my favorite bit might have been the 'celebrity death match' type fight they stage during "I am NOT one of your fans!"- "In this corner, weighing in at 185 (off of look from Joan) 110, Joan Crawford." heh.
Jamie Morris (Joan Crawford) completely takes Joan's mannerisms and facial expressions to a whole new exaggerated level- hilarious. And who knew that little Danny Pintauro (sorry- Dan Pintauro now) from "Who's the Boss" would grow up to be such a cutie? He plays Carol Ann and a whole host of other characters. And did I mention how cute he is??
Actually, They should use Joan Crawford's actual last words in writing the 11 O'Clock number. They were (allegedly): "Don't you dare ask God to help me!" And as far as casting, Isn't the part of Joan obvious?
"It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance." -
Elizabeth Taylor
I just got one of Christina's Mommie Dearest sequels (Survivor) in the mail. She talks about how much the film distressed her and her husband, and how she thought she'd have another stroke from the trauma it caused her.
Wonder how fast Paramount would give up the rights to the book, and whether she'd try to fight that just as she fought the film once she saw it going in a campy direction? Or could someone just twist the themes to make it their own work, and say that they were basing it on oral history?
This IS coming to Broadway as a musical. Producer/screenwriter Frank Yablans recently confirmed. There's going to be cross-dressing involved. That's all I know.
Are you kidding me? Hasselhoff would make the PERFECT Greg. He even looks a little like the guy in the movie and could deliver those lines perfectly. Dress up Henry Hodges in blonde wig and he would be perfect for young Christopher for the Christmas scene. Someone should seriously put me in charge of casting
"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."
To Kill A Mockingbird
"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."
To Kill A Mockingbird
LOL three songs for the bedroom raid? Well I suppose a musical's typical 3-hour+ length could accomodate that. Of course, we wouldn't want any other scenes to be sacrificed for them, and there's that double bitch-slap on the Andrea Doria that has yet to be dramatized...
